Saturday, September 28, 2013

When life imitates ROLF!: Hollie-May Saker vs. the Feminazis!

We should have written this battle scenario. But real life beat us to it.

A pair of Rush Limbaugh's Feminazis tore off their shirts and stormed the catwalk at the Paris Fashion Week. They harassed and "manhandled" one of the models. The model, Brit Hollie-May Saker, punched one of them in the nose and continued modeling the flapper-style dress she was wearing.

You can read all about it in "That Bitch Ruined My Walk" by clicking here.

And, inspired by actual events, here are a couple of battle scenarios and ROLF! stats for Hollie-May Saker (and I really hope that last name is pronounced "sack-her" and not "say-ker"), FEMEN Feminazi protesters, and Rush Linbaugh. Yes... Rush Limbaugh has nothing to do with Paris Fashion Week or Hollie-May Saker, but we once Hollie-May is done kicking the crap out of the Feminazis, the Feminazis can vent their frustrations on Limbaugh.


Brawn 15, Body 17, Brains 5
   Traits: Improv Master, Nimble, Short-tempered, Too Sexy for My Shirt,
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Murderous Mitts, Strike Pose, The Look, The Walk
Important Stuff Work/Wielded: High Fashion (Clothes), Smartphone (One-shot Ranged Weapon. Deals 1 point of damage).

Brawn 12, Body 14, Brains 3
Traits: Dour, Too Sexy for My Shirt
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Bitch Slap, Castrate
   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Penis-shaped Club (Melee Weapon. Deals 2 points of damage).

Brawn 11, Body 12, Brains 6
   Traits: Jolly, Too Sexy for My Shirt
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Debate Philosophy, Disarm, Dodge, Knock Out, Run Away
   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Expensive Suit (Clothes), Cigarcase (One-shot Ranged Weapon. Deals 1 point of damage). The Golden EIB Microphone (Melee Weapon. Deals 2 points of damge.

For more fashion-world mayhem and violence, check out ROLF!: Supermodel Slapfest. The Combat Maneuvers featured in the previous character designs not in the main rules can be found in that supplement.

And just because, here are some random pictures of Holly-May Saket...

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