This time up, we have a random table for you. Admittedly, we're not sure how useful it is, but maybe it can serve as an inspiration for ROLF! battle scenarios that pit Donald Trump against the Commies and/or Girl Scouts from Jupiter.
WHY IS DONALD TRUMP PUSHING FOR A SPACE FORCE? (Roll 1d12)
1. He's too ill-formed to know that the United States Air Force Space Command already exists.
2. The alien symbiote that passes for his hair wants to go home, but there are hostile forces between here and there.
3. The alien symbiote that passes for his hair wants to go to war against the Martians
4. The alien symbiote that passes for his hair wants to prepare the world for an attack by the Girl Scouts from Jupiter.
5. He wants his face carved on the moon.
6. He wants his buttcheeks carved on the moon.
7. He wants to be a real Space Cadet.
8. The Decepticons must be stopped!
9. He knows the truth about the aliens and the Visitors are not our friends!
10. Flash Gordon has retired and he wants to be the new Savior of the Universe.
11. He wants to build a moon base to impress his pals Putin, Kim, and Ming the Merciless.
12. Roll two more times on the table, ignoring other rolls of 12 and repeated numbers. Both results are true.