ROLF!: Horrors of Rock

Here are some pop musicians turned into ROLF! characters. Why? Why not?

NEW COMBAT MANEUVER

Dance Move: When the character uses this Combat Maneuver successfully, all other characters in the area must make successful Brains ATT checks as their next action or catch dance fever and join in. Dancing characters cannot attack other characters and they continue to dance until attacked or until they roll a successful ATT Brains on 3d6 instead of the usual 2d6.
(Exception: The character who used this maneuver can stop dancing after one round if he or she chooses.)
  Characters with the Nimble Trait receive a -2 modifier to the attribute check for this Combat Maneuver. ATT Body.

NEW CHARACTERS

Lady Gaga (Female)
Brawn: 20 (+1 Hat Bonus included), Body: 17, Brains: 7
Traits: Nimble, Same Sex Preference, Too Sexy for My Shirt
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Dance Move, Furious Fists, The Look, Strike Pose, Seduce, Yodel.
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Bizarre, Sexy Outfits (Clothes), Thigh-high Boots (Armor OR Leggings, Absorbs 1 point of damage.), Weird Hat (+1 Brawn Bonus, different-looking hat each battle).

Lady Gaga and Friend

Meat Loaf (Male)
Brawn: 23, Body: 14, Brains: 6
Traits: Too Sexy for My Shirt
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Dodge, Double Strike, Seduce, Strike Pose, Yodel.
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Thigh-high Boots (Armor OR Leggings. Absorbs 1 point of damage.), Microphone Stand (Deals 2 points of damage.)

Meat Loaf (the singer, not the food)

Rob Zombie (Male)
Brawn: 18, Body: 15, Brains: 5
Traits: Nimble
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disembowel, Furious Fists, Strike Pose, Yodel.
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Satanic Sacrificial Dagger (Inflicts 2 points of damage,)

Rob Zombie, Hairy Dude.

Zombie Michael Jackson
Brawn is 20; Body is 16; Brains is 5
Traits: Dead, Mutant (Claws, Detachable Limbs, Teeth), Stinks
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Dance, Disembowel, Seduce (+2 modifier to ATT check), Yodel.
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Teeth (Natural Weapon; immune to Disarm. Melee. Ignores Armor. Deals 2 points of damage.), Sharp Claws (Natural Weapon; immune to Disarm. Melee. Does 3 points of damage.)

Zombie Michael Jackson

Best-selling titles in October

NUELOW Games had a very good month. I attribute this to the fact that the Occupy the Gaming Table Movement really DOES represent 99% of all Americans. And then there were the better-than-expected sales on the collection of humor stories from Robert E. Howard, "Fists of Foolishness", doing better than expected, and a number of you out there taking advantage of our "Play a New RPG Month" discount package to try out "ROLF!: The Roleplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters." Thank you for your support. I hope you felt that your money well spent!

Here are the top sellers.

Best-Selling NUELOW Games Titles for October 2011

1. ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters [Core Game Rules]

2. ROLF!: Creature Feature [Supplement]

3. Fists of Foolishness [Short Story Anthology featuring works by Robert E. Howard]

4. ROLF!: Supermodel Slapfest [Supplement]

5. ROLF!: Herbert West vs. the Zombies [Supplement]

6. ROLF!: The Pimp, the Protester, and the Po-Po [Supplement]

7. ROLF!: The Associated Shades of Hades [Supplement]

8. ROLF!: Icing Oetzi [Supplement]

9. ROLF!: Hammerin' Tongs [Supplement]

10. ROLF!: The Breast Hope for Peace [Supplement]

Just in time to brighten your Halloween...

We're proud to offer a new anthology featuring off-beat werewolf tales by from the legendary Robert E. Howard and a novelette by Clemence Housman that H.P. Lovecraft said features a "high degree of gruesome tension."

White Fell and Other Stories features four classic chillers selected and edited by Steve Miller, one-time contributor to the gothic horror setting of Ravenloft. Perfect for reading on your iPad--or even your iPhone, this collection can be yours for just $1.75.

And now... 'ROLF!: Gaddafi's Angels'

Ripped from yesterday's headlines! More action and intrigue than the latest big budget espionage action thriller, and almost as much logic!

"Gaddafi's Angels" is the latest supplement for ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters. It contains three thematically linked combat scenarios and five pre-generated characters--including Colonel Muammar Gaddafi and his mysterious cadre of lovely women warriors, Gaddafi's Angels (making this another ROLF! supplement that's fun and educational!), Sarah Palin (a woman of mystery of there ever was one), and the sinister Agents of HUMMUS.

Gaddafi may be disposed and murdered (and few mourn him very much), but the battle of Angel vs. HUMMUS goes on. Now with 100% more Sarah Palin!

Click here to get your copy of "ROLF!: Gaddafi's Angels" from RPGNow.com for just 50 cents. This expansion works both with the current edition of ROLF! as well as the free Old Skool Edition.

All proceeds on sales of this product will go to fund my rise to supervillian status so can have my own cadre of hottie women bodyguards and secret agents on retainer. So get your copy today!

Gaddafi and his Angels! (See... we DON'T make this stuff up!)

ROLF! House Rules

Here are some "missing rules" that "Alhoon" posted on the Fraternity of Shadows message board. Feel free to incorporate them into your ROLF! games, because, unlike what the Godfather of Gaming Gary Gygax wrote about AD&D in the immortal Dragon Magazine #64, you are still playing ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters even if you aren't playing it exactly as we wrote it.

Feel free to add your own rules! And if they're fun, send them our way!

Alhoon, ROLF! player and Ravenloft fan, on How to Play ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game.

ROLF! takes 15 mins to read from cover to cover. If you spend more time than that... then you are doing it wrong!

Just note that there are some rules missing, that are very, very important. Namely:

- When your opponent rolls and then his cellphone rings, his mom knocks the door etc, you fudge his dice rolls turning "1" to "6" etc while he's not looking.

- When you use "seduction" you should always kiss your hand making a loud, disturbing, wet "Mooooch" sound.

- If you successfully castrate an opponent, everyone in the room should point at the player of the unlucky char and laugh at him.

- If you have the "do lunch" maneuver, you should eat fallen opponents while fighting. [ED NOTE: And this is made easier if your character has the Mutant Trait and Fangs.]

- If you play with your significant other and her/his char castrates yours, while everyone is pointing at you and laughing, you should throw a fit, how your relationship is going bad and vow to abstain from sexual intercourse for a week.

Time for "ROLF!: Gaddafi's Angels"?

Hmmmm... Gaddafi's dead. His hot chick bodyguards are free agents. Maybe it's time to write "Gaddafi's Angels." While there are all sorts of tasteless jokes that can be generated from the fact that M.G. was smoked in a pipe, I think these girls probably have far more potential.

Here's an initial crack a stat block...

Gaddafi's Angels
Brawn: 27, Body: 18, Brains: 11
Traits: Nimble, Too Sexy for My Shirt
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Bitch Slap, Castrate, Disembowel, Furious Fists, Seduce, Spelling (Draw Weapon*), Strike Pose, The Look, The Walk.
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Easily doffed uniform with camo bikini underneath (clothes). Successful use of the Draw Weapon Spelling summons a Medium melee or ranged weapon into the Angel's hand. It deals 3 points of damage.)

Hello, angels!

*This spelling is basically the same as "Ninja Arsenal" but I don't have "Cap'n Jack on the Isle of Pirate's Doom" handy to look it up. I'll fix it later. :)

ROLF!: Chuck Norris vs Abe Lincoln

We've never been ones to think that any joke is too old to not keep hammering, so we're including stats for Chuck Norris in "ROLF!: The Breast Hope for Peace." So, as a preview, here they are.

Chuck Norris (Male)
Brawn: 40; Body: 15; Brains: 8.
Traits: Coldhearted, Dour, Too Sexy for My Shirt
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Bitch Slap, Debate Philosophy, Disarm, Furious Fists, Signature Move, Strike Pose, The Look.
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: He's Chuck f'n Norris... what could he possibly need?!

And here's ROLF! stats for Abe Lincoln, in case you want to bring Nice Peter's Epic Rap Battles of History: Abe Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris to the gaming table!

Abe Lincoln (Male)
Brawn: 39; Body: 16 (+1 Hat bonus included); Brains: 8.
Traits: Nimble
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Debate Philosophy, Disarm, Disembowel, Do Lunch, Furious Fists, Signature Move, Strike Pose.
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Stove-pipe Top Hat (+1 Body ATT when worn). Axe Handle (Medium Melee Weapon. Deals 3 points of damage).

And please keep an eye out for "ROLF!: The Breast Hope for Peace," debuting Wednesday, October 19 in the NUELOW Games store at RPGNow! If you haven't checked out ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game for Big Dumb Fighters, the special Play a New Roleplaying Game discount package is still avaiable. Click here for more information!