Sunday, May 13, 2018

Who Killed the Banker?

Peter Davis Blane's small bank was known for its fairness in giving loans, and even for sometimes being generous with extensions if a debtor fell behind in payments... but he never let kindness threaten the profitability of his business.  He ran his bank like he ran his life--efficiently and with a velvet-covered iron fist on the tiller. And now he's dead.


Can the player characters catch the killer in the dramatic adventure that can be created around the outline that can be randomly generated with these tables?

WHERE WAS HE FOUND?
1. In the bank vault.
2. In his office.
3. In his bedroom.
4. In his misstress's bedroom.
5. In the Impressionists gallery at the art museum.
6. In the VIP lounge at the strip club.
7. Behind the orphanage.
8. In the crackhouse.
9. In the sauna at the health club.
10. In the kitchen of his beach house.
11. In the park.
12. On a dock at the marina.


HOW WAS HE KILLED?
1. Decapitated.
2. Stabbed through the heart with a gold-plated letter opener.
3. Shot in the back of the head, execution style.
4. Shot 1d6 times.
5. Stabbed 1d12 times.
6. Suffocated.
7. Choked by pages of Das Kaptial shoved down his throat.
8. Broken Neck.
9. Drug Overdose.
10. Skull Crushed with a Heavy Object.
11. Beaten to Death with Fists.
12. Forced to Drink Bleach.

WHO KILLED HIM?
1. His Wife.
2. His Mistress.
3. His Drug-Addicted Son.
4. His Rebellious Daughter.
5. His Secretary.
6. The Professional Hitman.
7. The Bankrupt Business Owner.
8. The Foreclosed-on Farmer.
9. The Anarchist.
10. The Terrorist.
11. The Bank Robber.
12. Roll two more times on this table, re-rolling any additional results of 12. The first result is being framed for the murder. The second result is the actual killer.

WHY WAS HE KILLED?
1. Greed.
2. Jealousy.
3. Hatred.
4. Revenge.
5. He refused to cooperate with the killer in robbing the bank.
6. He refused to cooperate with the killer in embezzling money from the bank.
7. He cheated the killer out of his full share of money stolen from the bank.
8. He took money from a account belonging to a dead person that he thought no one knew existed.
9. The killer was hired by someone else. (Roll again on the "Who Killed Him" table, as well as on the Dark Secrets table to learn why the killer wanted the banker dead.)
10. He was going to come clean to the world about his own dark secret, and the killer had to stop him. (Roll on the Dark Secrets table to determine what the secret was.)
11. The murderer is insane, and will kill the other people on the "Who Killed Him" list every three days until the party stops the slaughter. (All the victims knew both the banker and the killer.)
12. As 11, but roll on the Dark Secrets table to see why the murderer is on a killing spree.


WHAT IS THE DARK SECRET?
1. The bank is funded with Nazi gold (and the same is true of the banker's personal fortune).
2. The bank's main business is laundering money for a drug cartel.
3. The bank's main business is to manage CIA black budget funds, including all expenses relating to black-bag torture sites.
4. The bank's main business is funneling money to terrorist groups and "rogue regimes".
5. The killer comitted rape and the banker covered it up.
6. The killer comitted rape and got tired of paying blackmail to the banker, who had witnessed it.
7. The banker operates a child pornography and sex slave ring.
8. The killer was sexually abused by the banker years ago.
9. The banker could no longer bear keeping the secret that he (1-8 accidentially, 9-12 intentionally) killed the murderer's best friend years ago.
10. His mistress was pregant with their child.
11. He forced his mistress to abort their love child.
12. The banker killed a girl while in college, and killer had been blackmailing him about it. He was going to turn himself and the killer in to the authories.








A d20 System feat in observance of Mother's Day!

And its text is presented under the Open Game License, so you can republish it accordingly. Copyright Steve Miller 2018.

MOM VOICE [General]
You can make people knock that crap off with just a few words.
   Prerequisite: Mom
   Benefit: Roll a Bluff or Intimidate skill check. All beings with an Intelligence of 3 or higher must roll Will saves with a target equal to your skill check +6. Those who fail the saving throw must immediately stop whatever they're doing for a number of rounds equal to your Charisma bonus, during which time you may attempt to reason with them using Diplomacy or Bluff.
    Those who save against the Mom Voice suffer a -2 penalty to attack rolls and skill checks for a number of rounds equal to your Charisma bonus. If they attack a target who didn't save, the target may attack back with the same -2 penalty.
    All initiatives must be re-rolled at the beginning of the round following the use of Mom Voice.
    Special: Targets of the Mom Voice must be able to hear the user, but they do not need to understand the words spoken; the tone is universal.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

The Artifacts of the Sharp-Dressed Man (for d20 Modern)

How this collection of artifacts came into existence is unknown. They were first documented by paranormal investigator Marion K. Bassett when she was hired to inventory the belongings of occultist Ulysses Sheltner. Like most of the magical items that had been owned by Sheltner, they were stolen soon thereafter. The whereabouts of the artifacts are currently unknown.


CUFFLINKS OF PRESTIDIGITATION
This matched set of gold cufflinks, engraved with the initials U.S., give the wearer a +2 bonus to all Open Locks and Sleight of Hand skill checks, as well as a +1 bonus to all other Dexterity checks that involved manipulating small items and delicate equipment or machinery.


DIAMOND RING OF PERCEPTION
This broad, gold pinky ring with a diamond inset gives the wearer a +2 bonus to all Search and Spot skill checks.


FAT WALLET
This bulging alligator skin billfold increases the Wealth score of the person carrying it by 2.


POCKET WATCH OF TIMELINESS
This ornate pocket watc--with a flip-cover that sports a highly styalized pentagram and a face featuring small roman numerals--is on a 10-inch gold chain that must be fastened to an item of the character's clothing. When the watch on the chain is spun rapidly in a clockwise direction for a round, it puts the wearer under the effects of a haste spell for six rounds. When spun rapidly in a counter-clockwise direction, all other creatures within a 12-foot radius must roll Will saves of be subjected to the effects of a Slow spell for six rounds. The watch can only evoke a magical effect once every 12 hours, but it tells perfect time.


STICK PIN OF PERSONALITY
This golden stick pin has a small ruby in a sunburst-themed housing at its top. It provies the wearer with a +2 bonus to all Charisma-based skill checks.
   The stick pin also can be used as an improvised weapon that deals a base of 1 point piercing damage. For purposes of resistances, it is a +1 weapon.


TOP COAT OF PROTECTION
This black overcoat grants the wearer a +1 bonus to Defense Rating, as well as a +2 bonus to all Fortitude saves made against damage from any elemental source (like the fireball or ice storm spells).




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Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Who Killed the Triathlete?

Marlon Booker had never met a sport he didn't like and didn't engage in at least once. He skied and swam and bike-raced and played hockey and basketball and soccer and baseball, and so on and so forth. His claim to fame, though, were marathons and triathlons, and everyone felt he was guaranteed to win the Guardian City Triathlon and thus the greatest completion of his life.

But on the eve of the big event, he was found dead.



Can the heroes discover who killed the triathlete in this randomly generated mystery adventure?

WHERE WAS HE FOUND?
1. Floating in the lake.
2. In the high school gymnasium.
3. In the stadium parking lot.
4. In the strip club.
5. Outside the headquarters of the sports apparel manufacturer.
6. Outside his coach's home.
7. In his main competitor's living room.
8. In his bedroom.
9. In his shower.
10. In his living room.
11. In the doctor's office.
12. In the alley behind the health club.

HOW WAS HE KILLED?
1.Drug Overdose.
2. Heart attack (induced with an undetectable drug).
3. Stabbed 1d12 times.
4. Shot 1d6 times.
5. Hanged.
6. Suffocated.
7. Hit by a car.
8. Bludgeoned to death with a sports trophy.
9. Choked on Speedo swimwear forced down his throat.
10. Beaten to death with his bicycle.
11. His organs were harvested, his blood drained.
12. Garroted.

WHO KILLED HIM?
1. His Coach.
2. His Main Competitor
3. The Sports Company Ad Executive.
4. The High School Science Teacher.
5. The High School Cheerleader.
6. The Sports Reporter
7. The Conspiracy Theorist.
8. The Retired Marine.
9. The Cultist.
10. His Wife (1-6. Current, 7-12. Former).
11. His Physician.
12. Roll two more times on this table. Ignore and re-roll results of 12. The first result is being framed for murder. The second result is the actual killer.

WHY WAS HE KILLED?
1. Jealousy.
2. Hatred.
3. For the Life Insurance Money.
4. Revenge.
5. Extremely Unhealthy Competition.
6. To Protect a Loved One.
7. To Prevent a Scandal.
8. To Preserve the Existence of an Evil Secret Society. (Roll 1d12. 1-3. He was a member; 7-12. He was not a member but learned of its existence.)
9. Because he was going to expose the murderer's dark secret. (Roll on the What is the Dark Secret table to find out what it was.)
10. Because was going to tell the world about his dark secret, and the murderer wanted him silenced. (Roll on the What is the Dark Secret table to find out what it was.)
11. It was part of a larger cover-up. (Roll on the What is the Dark Secret table to determine what is being covered up. Roll three times on the Who Killed Him table, ignoring results of 12. The killer and the indicated characters are involved in the cover up.)
12. Roll two more times on this table. Ignore and re-roll results of 12.

WHAT IS THE DARK SECRET?
1. Teachers at the local high school are grooming cheerleaders and student athletes for nefarious purposes. (Roll a d12 to find out what: 1-3. Indoctrination into a demonic cult, 4-6. Recruitment into a secret super assassin training program, 7-9. Vessels for alien minds, 10-12. Sex slaves.)
2. Teachers are dealing drugs to the students at the local high school.
3. A teacher at the local high school is having an affair. (Roll d12 to determine with whom: 1-4. The triathlete, 5-6. The Cheerleader, 7-9. The Science Teacher, 10-12. The Sports Company Ad Executive.)
4. A High School Cheerleader who apparently died in an accident was murdered to cover up the fact that (1-4. he, 5-12 she) was assaulted and raped.
5. The Physician has been testing experimental steroids on his patients without their knowledge or permission.
6. Aliens are using the local health club as a source of bodies to transfer the minds of their overlords into.
7. The Triathlete was a secret agent. (Roll 1d12 to determine who he was working for. 1-3. A CIA assassin, 4-6. Russian intelligence agent sent to undermine US society and unity, 7-9. US Marine in secret task force devoted to stopping a hidden alien invasion, 10-12. Enforcer for a cult devoted to bringing about the end of the world).
8. The Sports Company Ad Executive is inserting subliminal mind-control messages into his company's marketing materials. (Roll 1d12 to determine who he was working for. 1-3. The Russians, 4-6. The Iranians, 7-9. Aliens., 10-12. The Illuminati.)
9. The Triathlete and his murderer are superhuman because: (Roll 1d12 to determine the reason. 1-4. They were the product of a secret genetic engineering program, 5-8. The are human/alien hybrids, 9-12. They are literally the spawns of Satan--part human, part fallen angel.
10. A cult is performing rituals designed to open the Gates of Hell under the high school.
11. An artificial, undetectable endurance enhancer is being provided to athletes, but long-term use drives them insane.
12. Roll twice on this table, ignoring and re-rolling any results of 12. Both dark secrets were contributing factors to the Triathlete's murder.

--
A theme song for this murder mystery...

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Who Killed the Psychic?

She told top movie stars and pop musicians which projects to pursue, she spoke to the spirits about the afterlife and the future... but she didn't foresee her own murder!

Zaynah, Clairvoyant to the Stars, has been killed, and it's up to the player characters to discover who did it and why in this randomly generated murder mystery!

WHERE WAS SHE FOUND?
1. In a woodland grove, deep within a National Park.
2. In the celebrity chef's personal vegetable garden.
3. In the bedroom of a rival psychic.
4. In her bedroom.
5. In the parlor where she conducted her psychic readings.
6. In the shower at the gym.
7. On the altar at the cathedral.
8. Outside the state attorney's home.
9. In the famous director's pool.
10. In the VIP lounge at a hot night club (and rumored organized crime front)
11. In the ally next to a police station.
12. On the beach.

HOW WAS SHE KILLED?
1. Strangled.
2. Beaten to death.
3. Stabbed.
4. Throat Slit.
5. Choked by Tarot cards shoved violently down her throat. (Roll 1d12 to see where the Tarot deck came from. 1-4. Her own Tarot cards. 5-8; Tarot cards belonging to a rival psychic; 9-12. An antique deck of Tarot cards that once belonged to a notorious devil worshiper.)
6. Skull bashed in with a crystal ball. (Roll 1d12 to see where the crystal ball came from. 1-4. Her own crystal ball; 5-8. A crystal ball belonging to a rival psychic; 9-12. A prop crystal ball from a horror movie.)
7. Drowned. (Roll 1d12 for the kind of water in her lungs. 1-4. Sea Water; 5-8. Chlorinated Pool Water; 9-12. Fresh Water.)
8 Shot 1d6 times.
9. Hanged.
10. Poisoned.
11. Impaled on an ancient spear with a tip made from a stag's antler and coated with juiced wolfsbane.
12. Roll two more times on this table, ignoring additional results of 12. She was killed by both methods. If the same result is rolled twice, the killer was particularly thorough and brutal.

WHO KILLED HER?
1. The up-and-coming 1-4 actor; 5-8 actress; 9-12. singer.
2. The has-been 1-4 actor; 5-8 actress; 9-12. singer.
3. The hot 1-3. actor; 4-6 actress; 7-8 singer; 9-12. director.
4. The television executive.
5. The celebrity chef.
6. The screen writer.
7. The priest.
8. Her lover. (Roll 1d12 to see status. 1-6. Current; 7-12. Former.)
9. The private detective.
10. The crimelord.
11. The rival psychic.
12. Roll two more times on this table, ignoring additional results of 12. The first result is the murderer. The second result is being framed as the murderer.



WHY WAS SHE KILLED?
1. Hatred
2. Jealousy
3. She spurned the murderer's romantic advances.
4. She was blackmailing the murderer. (Roll on WHAT WAS THE DARK SECRET to see what she knew.)
5. The murderer feared she had discovered his or her dark secret through her psychic powers.
6. She was the latest victim of a serial killer targeting psychics. (If the Rival Psychic isn't the murderer, he will be murdered in 1d3 days if the characters don't crack the case before then.)
7. The murderer was angry over a bad reading she gave.
8. The murderer wanted to make sure she never revealed her dark secret to anyone. (Roll on WHAT WAS THE DARK SECRET to see what it was.)
9. She was going to tell the murderer's spouse about the affair he or she was having. (Roll on the WHO KILLED HER table to determine who the murderer was having the affair with. Ignore rolls that duplicate the killer; if 12 is rolled, the killer was having multiple affairs.)
10. Revenge.
11. Greed.
12. For a ritual that required she be sacrificed to an evil god so that the murderer would gain her powers of Second Sight. (Roll 1d12. 1-4. The murderer is insane and there is no evil god; 5-8. The murderer gained her psychic powers and uses them in an attempt to avoid being caught by the party; 9-12. The evil god tricked the murderer, because the psychic was a fraud.

WHAT WAS THE DARK SECRET?
1. The big entertainment companies are infiltrated and mostly run by demon worshipers and actual demons, and they are using their products to spread corrupting magic around the world.
2. She was finishing a tell-all book about sexual harrassers and rapists in the entertainment business, and she was going to identify them all by name.
3. The psychic was selling information gleaned during her readings to tabloids and rival studios and recording companies.
4. She was preparing a ritual that would have opened the literal Gates of Hell and give Earth to Satan, but had a change of heart.
5. Her 1-4 Husband, 5-8 Male Lover, 9-12 Female Lover is a Russian agent devoted to disrupted US society through popular media, and his or her secret had to be protected. (The Russian agent may not even know that she was murdered to protect him or her.)
6. She was the heiress to a massive fortune, but was abducted as a young child. Her identity had been traced, and she was killed by those who have been benefitting from what should have been hers.
7. She not only told fortunes, but she also took money to cast curses that ruined careers and ended lives.
8. She was helping the government build cases against a variety of criminals who provided her clients with services.
9. She was once raped by the murderer, and she had decided to go public.
10. She was the literal daughter of Satan, but she refused to embrace her heritage and assume leadership of his servants.
11. She was the literal daughter of Satan and was about to help the Anti-Christ come to power.
12. She and the Rival Psychic were actually business partners who exchanged information on each other's clients and sold trade secrets and plot ideas and drafts of songs and artwork to competitors--but she only did it to those who were the rival's clients and visa-versa.



Tuesday, May 1, 2018

And now they're purging their own...

The RPG industry crusaders and protectors of all that is good and pure, and the promoters of inclusive inclusivity of the highest calibre are running out of miscreants to spotlight and throw into the pit. So now they appear to be going after their own.


Christopher Helton has authored this naked hit piece on Sean Patrick Fannon: New Allegations Show More Work Needs to be Done. Fannon has been a reliable and outspoken supporter of efforts to destroy the evil sexists and racists and bigots and anyone else who fails to demonstrate how much they hate fascists and oppressors by beaving like a fascist and oppressor. And yet, Helton has reached back several years to "expose" accusations leveled by mostly anonymous individuals... and accusations that, as far as I recall, predate Fannon's required public affermation of his status as a Crusader and Protector of All That is Good and Right and True.

I suppose the lesson here is that once you're a sinner, you're always a sinner. There's no redemption, no forgiveness, no hope of ever gaining grace... because no matter what, once your fellow believers run out of the wicked to pursue and crush, they will turn inward and start purging the ranks. And those who have confessed their sins provide a ready-made target list for lazy people like Helton to work off.
Or maybe Fannon became a target because didn't praise the right game product in the right way... or maybe he praised the wrong one? (For those who might not know, Sean Patrick Fannon is a game designer and reviewer who is perhaps best known these days for Sean's Pick of the Day.)

Whatever the motivation, Helton has unleashed the shrieking angels of vengeance upon Fannon with a by-the-book hitpiece. I have seen his post referred to as "journalism." As a one-time feature writer and features editor, I wouldn't have wanted my name on this sort of badly sourced rumor mongering, nor would I accepted this trash as an editor, even with the lower standards for what is good reporting and what isn't. Except the purpose here was almost certainly not to practice good journalism.

It's worth noting that Fannon has posted a response to Helton's character assassination--a response that even starts and ends with the Litany of the Protectors of All That is Good and Right and True. You can read that here. It's much better written, and much better supported with sources and quotes, and generally shows Fannon to be the superior writer (and journalist for that matter).

So... if you've made a confession because you wanted to prove your Righteousness in the eyes of the Inquistion, beware. They may come for you as they came for Fannon.

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Who Killed the....?

Welcome to a very special edition of our ongoing series of Random Murder Mystery Outline Generators! This time, we're breaking a bit with the format, and the first step is to roll a random murder victim!




WHO WAS MURDERED? (Roll 1d6)
1-2. The Antifa Goon.
3-4. The Lion of Islam.
5-6. The White Supremecist.


WHERE WAS HE FOUND? (Roll 1d6)
1. In the park.
2-3. In his home.
4-5. In his parents' basement.
6. Outside the Masonic Temple.


HOW WAS HE KILLED? (Roll 1d6)
1. Choked on a ballgag.
2. Stabbed.
3. Poisoned.
4. Shot.
5. Improvised Explosive Device.
6. Impaled on a giant dildo.


WHY WAS HE KILLED? (Roll 1d6)
1. Hatred.
2. Disgust.
3. Revenge
4. It was an accident.
5-6. Does anyone really need a reason with an asshole like this?


WHO KILLED HIM?
1. His Lover. (Roll 1d6 for sex. 1-2. Female, 3-6. Male.)
2. His Child Bride.
3. No one. The dumb bastard killed himself by accident.
4. His Mother, who could no longer live with the shame of what she'd brought into this world.
5. Chuck Norris.
6. The Jews. Because it's ALWAYS the Jews.