ROLF: The Final Battles (#7 - #9)

We're halfway through October 2012, and the world still hasn't ended!

Can it be that the ancient wise Mayans weren't all that wise, or that maybe those who thought their calendar predicted the end of the world in 2012 were as stupid as a person who would think the "Wonderful World of Cats" calendar in my kitchen would predicts the end of the world in 2012... because there's nothing on it past December 31, 2012?

We're going to continue to produce our "Final Battles" for ROLF!, just in case the world DOES end so you will have a chance to go out rollplaying. Here are the "Final Battles" that NUELOW Games released for August, September, and October.

FINAL BATTLE #7: DRAGON VS. TIGER--It's a well-known fact that Chinese dragons hate tigers, so can it really come as a surprise to anyone that Tiger Woods finds himself battling one on the golf course? This one brought the fun new Improv Master trait to ROLF! (because there's no other way to describe Jackie Chan, who joins Tiger Woods in this fight.)

FINAL BATTLE #8: R.L. McSTERLINGTHONG & NIKOLA TESLA VS. THE DAUGHTER OF SKULL-FACE--It's the most epic battle in the history of epicness! The man who IS fantasy teams up with the universe's greatest mad scientist to defeat the evil that is Skull-Face's daughter.

FINAL BATTLE #9: "BOND. JANE BOND."--Chinese dragons return to ROLF... but this time Britain's greatest secret agent and her License to Kill stand ready keep the ability to control them from falling into the wrong hands. Such as the hands of The Great Question.

Will there be a Final Battle #10? Time will tell, my friends. Time will tell... UNLESS IT RUNS OUT!!!!

MercyMe does 'Thriller'

If we could, we'd hire MercyMe as the NUELOW Games houseband... we love their cover tunes! (I admit we're not terribly familiar with what they're most famous for--which is Christian rock.)

And in the spirit of the approaching Halloween holiday, we present them performing "Thriller", Michael Jackson's famous tribute to monster movies. And we feel that the approach MercyMe takes to monsters is about in line with what we did with our Halloween product "Creature Feature." Check out the great song, below, and the check out the ROLF! tribute to the classic monsters of film and literature by clicking here.

'Shadows of Dreams': Our most unusual book yet

The latest entry in NUELOW Games's Robert E. Howard Collection series is also one of the most unusual projects we've released to date--it's part poetry collection, part dual-system RPG supplement.

Shadows of Dreams: Poems and Verse by Robert E. Howard collects a small but broad sample of poetry from the creator of Conan and Solomon Kane, thus offering a look at what is perhaps the most obscure of is output. Poems featured range in length from a couple of lines to a couple of pages, and they range in tone from the humorous through contemplative and into the horrific. Here's a sample page (click to enlarge):

Verse by R.E. Howard. Illo by Derek Stevens.
(Illo Copyright 2012 Otherworld Creations. Used under license.)

 In addition, the book contains "Artifacts of the Eternals", which features four magical items created by NUELOW's lead designer Steve Miller with inspiration drawn from Howard's poetry and the artwork selected to illustrate it. Each of the four items has game stats for OGL d20 Systems and OpenD6.

Click here to read more and to see previews of Shaodows of Dreams at DriveThruFiction... and download your own copy for just $1.25.

While you're checking out the latest offering from NUELOW Games, we want to recommend you consider grabbing a copy of a very excellent roleplaying game from the mind of James Desborough--ImagiNation.

It's been speculated that Robert E. Howard suffered from clinical depression, and that the condition was what caused him to obsess about death and to ultimately take his own life. Desborough has commented that ImagiNation was "made around my experiences with depression and creativity" and that the game was written to help people gain an understanding of what depression is like.

The PDF version of the game is available free of charge. Click here to read more and to get your own copy.

Robert E. Howard & ROLF!: Two great tastes that go great together

While in high school, Robert E. Howard wrote several satirical short stories that were published in "The Tattler," the school newspaper. Being big advocates of recycling, we here at NUELOW Games have incorporated one of young Robert's stories into our latest ROLF! supplement, The Sheik: A Literary (?) Spoof.

The Sheik is a savage spoof of romance novels that features Howard's short story, ROLF! stats for its main characters, and a battle scenario--although the story itself is probably the best series of ROLF! Battle Scenarios we have never published.

"Robert E. Howard wrote better ROLF! fiction than anyone we might ask to write ROLF! fiction," said L.L. Hundal, the co-creator of ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters and designer of The Sheik: A Literary (?) Spoof by Robert E. Howard. "I didn't think anyone would ever have the combination of silliness and writing ability to capture the spirit of ROLF!... yet here's someone who was doing it in the 1920s. And he grew up to be the creator of Conan no less."

Click here to visit DriveThruFiction.com to see previews of The Shiek: A Literary (?) Spoof by Robert E. Howard, and to purchase your own copy for just $0.60.

It's International James Bond Day!

We have a ROLF! release planned in celebration, but the nefarious Agents of HUMMUS (Human Underlings of the Martian Military Unified Services  and the sinister forces of POTS (People's Organization for Terrorism and Socialism) raided our offices and absconded with L.L. Hundal and the computer files for ROLF!: "Bond. Jane Bond."

We're still hoping that she wlll be rescued in time for us to release the product for Bond Day--but if all else fails we'll put it out to coincide with the new James Bond film Skyfall. (And for the record, the NUELOW Games staff thinks that this looks like the first real Bond movie in quite some time--Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace don't count; they may have aspired to be Bond movies, but they didn't hit the mark.



Meanwhile, by way of a preview of ROLF!: "Bond. Jane Bond.", here's the cover illo by Charles Baskerville and Karl M.), as well as game stats for Agent 002, the ultimate Bond Girl!

JANE BOND, AGENT 002 (Female)

Brawn 31; Body 16; Brains 11.

Traits: Dead-Eye, Hard to Kill, Improv Master, Nimble, Stone Cold Killer

Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Bitch Slap, Disembowel, Dodge, Double Strike, Murderous Mitts, Seduce, Signature Move, Strike Pose, Sure Shot, The Look.

Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Designer Evening Gown (Clothes). Mini-bombs (Ranged Weapons. 3 shots. Attached to dress. Deals 2 points of damage, ignores armor.) Automatic Pistol (Ranged Weapon. 10 shots. Deals 2 points of damage), Knife (Melee Weapon. Deals 2 points of damage).

And here are the two reasons we here at NUELOW are excited about the new Bond flick, which will be in theaters in November. First, there's the theme song--it's a proper James Bond theme song unlike the crap that opened the last two movies.



And then there's this... the preview that made me think that this is going to be the first real James Bond movie since Daniel Craig took over the role.


It looks like it's going to be lots of fun! (Speaking of fun, you might also want to take a look at The Sheik: A Literary (?) Spoof, a ROLF! supplement containing a short story by Robert E. Howard that DID make it through our process successfully! Check here to see previews and get a copy.

The answer to why politicians can't keep their promises

The latest NUELOW Games supplement for ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters unveils a massive conspiracy while giving those of your crazy enough to run actual ROLF! campaigns some jumping off points for your own creativity.

  "Red Robin vs. The Editor & the Clones of Romney" is a must-have if you've enjoyed any of our recent superhero-themed efforts, or ROLF! products like "The Breast Hope for Peace" and "Gaddafi's Angels." In addition to three linked battle scenarios of global importance, it features rules for having cloned characters, statistics for three pre-grenerated characters, and new Traits and Combat Maneuvers.

Click here to see previews, or to get your very own copy of "Red Robin vs. The Editor & the Clones of Romney."

A Pre-Generated ROLF! Character: El Lahab (aka Bruce the Flamer)

Here's a pre-generated character that can be used to augment ROLF! scenarios like The Breast Hope for Peace or Gaddafi's Angels, Flem El Lahab (aka Bruce Gevlam aka The Flamer aka Bruce the Flamer aka Suger Buns). His favorite things to do are attending al-Qaeda meetings, killing Infidels, taking long showers with his fellow terrorists, and singing along with ABBA and Boney M. songs. His sign is Virgo.

Flem El Lahab, aka Bruce the Flamer (Male)
Brawn 16, Body 14, Brains 6
Traits: Dumb, Nimble, Misogynist, Same Sex Preference
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Dance Move, Double Strike, Yodel, Seduce, Strike Pose
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: AK-47 Assault Rifle (Large Ranged Weapon, deals 4 points of damage that ignore armor. Can also be used as melee weapon and deal 2 points of damage).

El Lahab strutting his stuff at a recent al Qaeda get-together in Libya