The Staff of Steves - a magic item of great power and wonder!

Once upon a time, Steve Miller went to lunch with two luminaries from the gaming industry. While gnoshing on tasty vittles, one of them observed, "Everyone at this table is named Steve."

So was born the legendary League of Steves. (Or maybe the Stint of Steves, or Sleeve of Steves... a Facebook poll about what to call a gathering of Steves did not lead to a clear answer. But it did lead to the inspiration for the most brilliant magic item you are likely to ever to include in a campaign.)

The Staff of Steves

From an idea by Kairam Ahmed Hamdan & Bradley K. McDevitt. 

Design by Steve Miller. Copyright 2015 Steve Miller.

Text in this post is presented under the Open Game License and may be reproduced in accordance with it. 

The Staff of Steves is a powerful item that either comes into existence through a random convergence of supernatural circumstances, or is created by a secret cabal of artificers, drunken fairies, or... well, who knows how they come into being. Like the presence of Steves in the world, the Staff of Steves just is.

This Red Shirt will survive because he has a Staff of Steves.

The Staff of Steves takes many forms, but it is always a slender item, at least five feet in length... you know, a staff. It's specific appearance can be anything from an ornately carved oaken staff to a curtain rod. It has the following game effects:
* Acts as a +4 weapon for purposes of overcoming a target's damage resistance.
* Acts as a +2 staff for purposes of attack and damage rolls.
* Grants a +4 bonus to AC (or Defense Rating) when wielded by a character named Steve.
* Allows its wielder to cast Charm Person 3 times per day (6 times per day if wielded by a character named Steve).
* Allows its wielder to cast Create Food and Water 3 times per day (casts Feast if wielded by a character named Steve).
* Allows its wielder to cast Stinking Cloud 1 time per day (but only after Create Food and Water or Feast has been cast at least once).
* Allows its wielder to read sheet music with unfailing accuracy.
* Allows its wielder to summon a random number of Steves once per day. The Steves are all 3rd level Experts (or similar NPC class), with 15 hit points, armed with clubs or similar blunt objects (1d3 points of damage), and have one or more skills (+6 to the d20 skill check) that is helpful to the wielder. The remain with the wielder, defending and assisting in any way they can (cooking, cleaning, doing paperwork, performing rock music, running roleplaying game sessions, assassinating heads-of-state, boosting of ego) for three hours, until dismissed, or until slain. The number of Steves appearing is 1d6+2.
* It allows a *player* named Steve to have his character reroll 1d6 failed actions per game session. (Rolled at the beginning of the session, as soon as the dice come out. The result must be confirmed and recorded by the GM. If the Steve forgets to roll immediatey, this effect does not apply ).

Note: "Steve" can be male or female, as it can be short for Stephen, Steven, Stefano, Stefanie, Stephanie, and all other variants you can think of.

(If you were amused by the Staff of Steves, please consider supporting Steve (and NUELOW Games) by getting some of the OGL d20 items I've actually put some effort into. Some of them even work in straight games. Click here to see the listings at RPGNow.

Wild Bill Clanton vs. Steve Costigan

In our latest release, The Conquests of Wild Bill Clanton, we present the best of Robert E. Howard's "adult" short stories featuring the nasty character mentioned in the title. The book also contains game material for the OGL d20 System, some of it new, some of it revised from some of our previous releases, but all of it geared toward capturing the feel of Howard's "spicy" Wild Bill stories.

Art by Warren King

Wild Bill Clanton is like a dark reflection of Howard's Steve Costigan. They are both sailors with a knack for getting into trouble, they both are hard drinkers, they both have strong sexual appetites... but Clanton is a self-centered brute and a rapist while Costigan, for all his rough edges, is ultimately motivated by chivalrous and gentlemanly impulses when it comes to the "fairer sex."

While we included OGL d20 material in The Conquests of Wild Bill Clanton, we used the ROLF! game system to bring Steve Costigan to the gaming table in Fists of Foolishness, Shanghaied Mitts, ROLF!: Hammerin' Tongs, and ROLF!: The Tornado vs. Steve Costigan. However, since Wild Bill is the sort of person that Steve Costigan is likely to beat the living hell out of if the two ever cross paths, L.L Hundal & Steve Miller present this ROLF! battle scenario featuring both of Robert E. Howard's battling sailors.

The following text is Copyright 2015 by Steve Miller, but permission is granted to copy and print for personal use if you want to play the battle scenario.

WHEN STEVE MET BILL

Writing by Steve Miller * Editing by L.L. Hundal

(A ROLF! Battle Scenario featuring characters created by Robert E. Howard)

From the Adventures of Steve Costigan, as transcribed by R.E. Howard:

  I was on my way back to the Sea Gal after Lo Tan's wedding when I came across this little white gal, curled up in a ball at the mouth of a filthy alley, crying. It stabbed me in the heart to see such a pretty little thing, with beautiful red hair and freckled white skin, in such a state. Especially after I'd just spent the day surrounded by such happiness. I asked her what'd happened and when she looked at me, I saw that her face was swollen and bruised. I helped her to feet and saw that her dress was so shredded that it barely qualified as clothes anymore.

   I let her wrap herself in my jacket, and my sympathetic feelings turned to anger as she described how she'd been robbed and abused by a lout who'd promised to get her on a ship out of Shanghai. He'd beaten her--and worse--and then thrown her into the alley like so much garbage.

   I demanded to know where this felon could be found, and she pointed me to a door down the alley. "But he's dangerous," she said. "You've heard of Wild Bill Clanton, right? He kills people who cross him."

   "Not me," I told her. "I've never heard of him, and he won't have a chance to kill me, because I knock the blocks off of folks like him. I'll get you your money back, and I'll get you out of Shanghai."
   I marched down the alley to the door indicated with the shivering little woman following a few feet behind. "Be careful! Please be careful," she was saying. I paid her no mind and kicked down the door she'd indicated. Inside, in a small room, was one of the ugliest cusses I'd ever laid eyes on. But he was big, almost as big as any man I'd fought. And he he leapt to his feet and took a stance that told me he was a fighting man. He gritted his teeth and glared at me with fiery eyes. He was aiming a pistol at me. I can't say I blame him; I had just kicked down his door.
   "Are you Clanton," I demanded.
   "I am!" said he,  "Who the !#$% are you?!"
   "They call me Costigan," I told him and asked, "Did you hit a young lady and take advantage of her in her time of need?"
   "Probably, but I don't meet many ladies around here."
   I felt my blood getting hotter. Here was a guy that needed some serious whopping. But I've learned the hard way not to jump to conclusions just because some pretty girl says she's in trouble. I probably will never be able to go back to Okinawa due to a situation just like this one. But this Clanton fellow seemed like he was on the up-and-up--or, more accurately, like he was a low-down creep.
    So I said, "Did you hurt a little redheaded girl today? Did you rob her?"
    Clanton roared with laughter. "That slag? She's no lady! I don't know what she told you, but she had it coming. And I tell you, she enjoyed every--"
   That's when I lost my temper and charged him. Gun or no gun, I was going to knock some decency into him. No matter what a man thinks a woman may have done, he never he never has any justification for laying a hand on her. And he sure as hell doesn't force himself on her in any way whatsoever.

The Battle Scenario
The scenario is for two players and it uses the pre-generated characters detailed below. One player controls Steve Costigan, the other Wild Bill Clanton. The fight starts at Ranged distance and continues until either Costigan and Yvette or Clanton is defeated.
   If Costigan is defeated, Yvette leaps into the fray the following round, attacking Clanton. If she is also defeated... well, then we know why NUELOW Games isn't releasing anymore books or ROLF! supplements starring Steve Costigan.
   If Clanton is beaten, either Yvette or Costigan goes through his pockets and takes all his money. Costigan, if defeated, regains consciousness and takes Yvette to his ship, the Sea Gal, where she gets passage to its next port of call. Happy endings all around, except for Wild Bill Clanton.
 

   

Pre-Generated Characters
STEVE COSTIGAN (Male)
Brawn 33; Body 11; Brains 5
   Traits: Egomaniac, Short-tempered, Too Sexy for My Shirt.
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disarm, Dodge, Knock Out, Murderous Mitts.
   Important Stuff Wielded/Worn: His Best Suit (Clothes).
   Special Note: Costigan is almost always in the company of Mike the White Bulldog. On the second round of a fight involving Costigan anywhere but in a boxing ring, Mike attacks the opponent with the lowest Body score, dealing 2 points of damage. Mike’s attacks are reduced by Armor or can be avoided with the Dodge Combat Maneuver. Mike attacks once each subsequent round, always targeting the character with the lowest Body score (other than Costigan). Mike fights for two rounds after Costigan goes down.

WILD BILL CLANTON (Male)
Brawn 30, Body 12, Brains 5
   Traits: Coldhearted, Egomaniac, Short-tempered
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disembowel, Knock Out, Murderous Mitts, Run Away,
   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Pistol (Small Ranged Weapon, deals 2 points of damage that ignore armor). Knife ( Small Melee Weapon, deals 2 points of damage).

YVETTE FREISE (Female)
Brawn 21, Body 15, Brains 5
   Traits: Improv Master, Nimble, Too Sexy for My Shirt
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Castrate, Dodge, Double Strike, Strike Pose,
   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Tattered Dress (Clothes, barely covers nakedness)

Help NUELOW Games donate to Oklahoma disaster relief

NUELOW Games's editor L.L. Hundal was greatly saddened by the devastation visited upon Oklahoma this week when the unstoppable forces of Nature tore through communities there. She prompted me to design a ROLF! scenario expressly intended to raise some funds to donate to the relief efforts.

The result was ROLF!: The Tornado vs. Steve Costigan. It is available for sale now, and I urge everyone who plays ROLF! to get a copy. All of NUELOW Games's proceeds from sales on this booklet through the end of September 2013 will be donated to Feed the Children's tornado relief fund. Click here to see previews and to get a copy of your own.

The Tornado vs. Steve Costigan is also one 11 items that are included in a bundle of products we've collected and discounted as part of this fund-raising effort.

If you've never checked out ROLF!, or if you've never bothered to see why I hold Robert E. Howard's humor stories in higher regard than his famous Conan and Solomon Kane tales, now is your chance to discover both at a 45% discount on the total price of the individual items. All proceeds of sales on this bundle will be donated to Feed the Children's Oklahoma tornado relief, and it will be available through at least June 1. If it proves to be a successful fund-raising tool, I'll extend its shelf-life.

When Howard Met ROLF! includes the following products:

Fists of Foolishness -- The first ten stories about sea-faring boxing champ Steve Costigan--a man with fists of steel, a heart of gold, and a head of wood. This book also includes the complete ROLF!-powered roleplaying game The Violent Worlds of Robert E. Howard. Fiction by Robert E. Howard (with one story featuring revisions by Steve Miller), game design by Steve Miller and L/L. Hundal.

Shanghaied Mitts -- Eleven more tales of the boxing exploits and misadventures of Steve Costigan. Includes a game adventure that can be played solo or used with The Violent Worlds of Robert E. Howard or ROLF!. Fiction by Howard (with one story featuring revisions by Miller), game design by Miller.

The Sheik: A Literary (?) Spoof and Battle Scenario: An Arab prince bites off more than he can chew in this spoof of cheesy bodice rippers. Features one of Howard's earliest publications. Fiction by Howard, game design by Hundal.

Bathtime at Bear Creek: Breckenridge Elkins takes a bath once a year whether he needs it or not... but this year's bathtime is interrupted by the nefarious Black Phantom Gang. Includes the very first story featuring Howard's dimwitted cowboy hero, and an additiional little story plus game scenario where he crosses paths with Frank Bolle's Black Phantom. Fiction by Howard and Miller, game design by Miller.

Hammerin' Tongs: Steve Costigan teams crosses paths with Steve Harrison, Howard's hardboiled detective with a habit of catching horrific cases. Game design by Miller.

Cap'n Jack on the Isle of Pirate's Doom: Three Cap'n Jacks join forces with Howard's Caribbean Pirate Queen Helen Taverel in a fight for survival against ninjas and the mysterious Mustache. Game design by Miller

Conan vs. Conan: A joke-slinging late-night talk show host meets a sword-swinging barbarian--will the mouth prove mightier than the sword? Game design by Miller & Hundal.

Pirates vs. Fairies: Howard's legendary pirate Black Vulmea meets the NUELOW Fairies. Game design by Miller & Hundal.

R.L. McSterlingthong and Nikola Tesla vs. the Daughter of Skull-Face: Partly inspired by Howard's "Yellow Meance" character. Fiction by Miller, game design by Miller and Lisa Harding

The Tornado vs. Steve Costigan: The sea-faring boxing champ makes landfall to save a friend's farm by winning a prize fight against Tornado Thommerson... but things don't go quite as planned. Fiction and game design by Miller.

In addition to all of that, we're also donating proceeds on sales on a bundle of our best-selling Oriental Stories anthologies to Feed the Children's tornado relief effort through June 1. Click here for details on the four books featured, and to contribute to a good cause.

Available now: 'Shanghaied Mitts' by Robert E. Howard

NUELOW Games is proud to present Shanghaied Mitts: More Tales of Sea-faring Boxing Champ Steve Costigan, our follow-on anthology to Fists of Foolishness.

With this book, all 21 of the misadventures of Steve Costigan that were published during the too-short lifetime of his creator, Robert E. Howard, are available in low-cost NUELOW Games editions that are perfect for reading on an iPad or iPod Touch.

These classic short stories about a big-hearted but none-too-bright sailor whose pride in his skills as a boxer gets him into almost as much trouble as his loyalty to his ship-mates and his pet bulldog Mike, include some of the work that Howard produced.

In addition to the 11 stories, the book includes an RPG adventure designed for solo play, or use with "The Violent Worlds of Robert E. Howard" (the game included in Fists of Foolishness) or any version of ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game. Titled "Steve Costigan and the Thief of Youth", this adventure was designed by Steve Miller, co-creator of the ROLF! game and former designer for Wizards of the Coast and other leading game publishers.

As a thank you for visiting the NUELOW Games blog, you can click here to get your copy of Shanghaied Mitts for just $3.00, almost 25% off the regular price.

The latest fiction and RPG release from us: 'Fists of Foolishness' -- comedy the Robert E. Howard way!

We're proud to announce our third Robert E. Howard-centric fiction anthology, as we continue to share our love for this great writer's non-Conan/Solomon Kane material.

"Fists of Foolishness: The Tales of Sea-faring Boxing Champ Steve Costigan" is the first of two volumes collecting all the stories featuring the character that were published during Howard's life-time. It's an anthology of ten stories that shows Howard writing in a style very different from the oft-reprinted tales of Conan and Solomon Kane, one where his prose is light-hearted and down-to-earth but no less intense when it comes to the action.

SPECIAL BONUS: This edition includes a complete roleplaying game, "The Violent Worlds of Robert E. Howard". Using the ROLF! Rules System, and designed by veteran game designer Steve Miller and ROLF!-originator L.L. Hundal, this game is intended to capture the fun of a Steve Costigan brawl, but can easily be used to emulate the gore-spattered rampages of Conan.

Click here for more information, and to read a preview if you wish. It can be yours for just US$3.75!