It only comes once a year! Get your Bill Clinton Birthday Box!

August 19th is Bill Clinton's birthday, and YOU get the present! And this is an extra special birthday... because he's turning 69! SCHWIING!

Celebrate the birthday of America's 42nd president with a bundle of ROLF! scenarios detailing his amazing adventures with his wife Hilary and his arch-nemesis Anthony Weiner! Sitting US president Barack Obama also makes a special guest appearance -- meaning you can use this material to create battle scenarios starring both of America's First Black Presidents!

Click here to get your copy of the Bill Clinton Birthday Box! It won''t be around for long, so don't hesitate! If you don't get it now, you'll have to wait another year for the deal!

As a special treat, we're adding two of Clinton's pals which have been left out of the official products in this post. (Maybe we'll get around to adding them to an official ROLF! release by Bill's next birthday!)

AL GORE (Male)
Brawn 27, Body 12, Brains 5
  Traits: Egomaniac, Holier Than Thou, Limousine Liberal
  Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Debate Philosophy, Dodge, Double Strike, Run Away!
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Global Warming Report (Melee Weapon, deals 2 points of damage).

MONICA LEWINSKY (Female)
Brawn 19, Body 15, Brains 4
  Traits: Nimble
  Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Castrate, Seduce, Strike Pose
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Bottle of Mouthwash (Melee Weapon, deals 1 point of damage).

Happy President's Day!

President's Day is one of the most confusing Federal holidays on the calendar. Some people will tell you it's in honor of George Washington's birthday. Others will tell you it's in honor of Abraham Lincoln's birthday. Yet others will INSIST that it's in honor of both Washington and Lincoln's birthday. A rare few will tell you tht it's not President's Day but Presidents' Day and that it is there to honor ALL U.S. presidents. The truth is that it celebrates George Washington's birthday. Period. End of story. There has NEVER been a federal holiday recognizing Lincoln or any president other than Washington. And it's President's Day, not Presidents' Day.

At NUELOW Games, in order to sow confusion, we are taking today to recognize ALL U.S. presidents by spotlighting the various ROLF! titles we've released that feature them as characters you can play. In all cases, click on the links in the titles to be taken the title's listing for further previews.

 
 

First up, there's The Associated Shades of Hades ROLF! adaptation. It contains stats for George Washington, but we haven't actually used him in a Battle Scenario. We will have to rectify that situation one of these days.

Dead Presidents, the perfect battle scenario for those who want to honor Lincoln on President's Day. It pits the spirits of two of America's greatest presidents against the nefarious spirits of Adolf Hitler and Kim Jong Il.

We have two Battle Scenarios featuring America's horniest president -- Bill Clinton Meets a Girl Scout and Bill Clinton and the Secret City of Women. Join Bill as he bravely chases skirts where no president has chased skirts before, all while avoiding the wrath of his wife and trying to outsmart his rival Anthony Weiner.

 

We have also released several Battle Scenarios involving the current U.S. President, Barack Obama. He's a Peace Prize Winner who has restored America's reputation in the world. He also stopped the seas from rising! In the Breast Hope for Peace, he teams up with other world leaders to stop a terrorist attack and battle Martians; in Dragon vs. Tiger, he joins with Tiger Woods to stop terrorism on the golf course; and in Super Muslim Bros., we reveal how he saved Egypt from being overrun by mummies.

Is it time for a third Bill Clinton-starring product?

Trashy tabloid- and  rightwing websites are a-twitter over former United States President Bill Clinton posing with for a picture with a pair of (assumed) prostitutes from Carson City's Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel.

Barbie, Bill, and Ava

We thought we were all Clintoned out with ROLF!: Bill Clinton Meets a Girl Scout and ROLF!: Bill Clinton and the Secret City of Women, but maybe there's room for a trilogy here? Especially with Hillary Clinton getting ready for another run for the White House?

The various reporters are quick to note that Clinton may not have known he was posing with escorts who arrived with aging porn star Ron Jeremy, but, to borrow a phrase from Mrs. Clinton--WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?!?

ROLF!: Bill and Ron's Excellent Adventure almost writes itself. The only thing we have to decide is whether Carlos Danger is Friend or Foe.

Celebrate Bill's Clinton's 66th birthday with ROLF!

Bill Clinton turns 66 today Why don't you spend it playing ROLF!... it's probably what he would do if we had a version that came with strippers -- and if he had ever heard of NUELOW Games and The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters.

To make it easy to get the party started, we've created a bundle of products featuring not only Bill Clinton but also other US Presidents, such as JFK, Barack Obama, and Abraham Lincoln. The products also feature enemies and allies worthy of these great men, such as Huda the Bikini-clad Wonder, Commies from Jupiter, al-Qaeda terrorists, Girl Scouts, Martians, and many, many more.

Get your Birthday Box by clicking here. It's only $2! But don't delay if you;'re interested. This bundle is only available today and tomorrow. (The individual products will all remain on sale separately, of course.)

The latest for ROLF!: Bill Clinton Meets a Girl Scout

ROLF!: Bill Clinton Meets a Girl Scout presents three battle scenarios revolving around Girl Scouts and former President of the United States Bill Clinton. Julian Assange also puts in an appearance... and Hillary Clinton is working over-time to save Bill from himself and from the Girl Scouts from Jupiter!

Bill Clinton Meets a Girl Scout features ROLF! stats for all the characters mentioned above, as well as Mel the Girl Scout Leader and Chairman Yalasha, the nefarious leader of the Commies from Jupiter, who was previously seen battling Rambo and his hippie allies. She's back... and she's looking to give Julian Assange something he richly deserve....

The package also includes an assortment of Combat Maneuvers and Traits not found in the basic ROLF! game and three battle scenarios. All this in just 5 pages... and for just $0.50!

Click here to get a copy of ROLF!: Bill Clinton Meets a Girl Scout, or to see previews.

Coming tomorrow -- "ROLF!: Bill Clinton Meets a Girl Scout"

Bill & Hillary Clinton. Julian Assange. Girl Scouts from Jupiter! And much much more! How much more? Take it away, Bill, because it's your birthday August 19th, and we're celebrating it!