Castro vs. Kennedy (A ROLF!: Houseboat on the River Styx Battle Scenario)

On November 25, 2016, the long-time dictator of the Cuban communist regime, Fidel Castro, passed away. This is some of what happened next, as Castro joins the cast of characters in NUELOW Games' A Houseboat on the River Styx setting. Based on the writings of John Kendrick Bangs, it's a place where historical figures and fictional characters meet, have adventures, and fight with each other.
   This post contains ROLF! stats for Kennedy and Castro, so you can play out their first meeting in the afterlife.

ON THE SHORES OF THE RIVER STYX, NOT TOO LONG AGO....
   "Ay caramba!" exclaimed Fidel Casto. "You mean I really, truly am dead?!"
   "Yes." Charon nodded almost imperceptibly within the shadows of his voluminous hood. "The land you have arrived in is Hades, and the river we just crossed is Styx."
   "But there is a city here! And over there--a houseboat with a gringo dressed up like Shakespeare! And there are people riding horses, people riding in cars, people--people riding on dragons?!"
   Castro pointed skyward where a sleek, scaly azure dragon was winging its way way through the cloudy sky after a furry white one; on the back of each, a human form could be discearned, and a woman's voice drifted down, "Fates curse you, Atreyu--you bring back my helmet, or I'll make you wish you'd been swallowed up by Despair and Hopelessness!"
   Again, near-invisible nod of Charon's head. "Yes... Hades is a land where creations of the imagination and the spirits of those who have fired imaginations live and mingle. You will find that--"
   "Well, I'll be! If it isn't Fidel Castro!"
   Charon and Fidel turned in the direction of the voice. John F. Kennedy came striding onto the boat dock.
   "Kennedy," Castro said coldly, his eyes narrowing under his bushy brows.
   "Fidel," Kennedy said, smiling. "I guess the cigars finally killed you, eh?"
   "Indeed. But it took 50 years longer than the bullet that finished you off."
   "Why, you commie bastard!"
   "Capitalist pig!"
   "Gentlemen, gentlemen," Charon said, waving his gnarled hands to get their attention. "There is no need to--"
   "Stay out of this," roared Kennedy and Castro in unison, each turning their baleful stares on Charon--causing him to shrink further into the shadows of his robe--before locking eyes with each other.
   "You're about to get your ass kicked so hard you're going to wish you were alive again," Kennedy snarled.
   "Less talk, more fight, bourgeois dog!"
   As the fists started to fly, Charon boarded his boat and shoved off. "I'll be back," he said, "when you gentlemen are finished. Nikita, Che, and Karl wanted me to bring Fidel by so they could get a bridge game going."

THE FIGHT
Castro and Kennedy start fighting at close range. The fight ends when one defeats the other.

FIDEL CASTRO (Male)
Brawn 20, Body 13, Brains 5
Traits: Coldhearted, Egomaniac, Stone Cold Killer
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Bitch Slap, Debate Philosophy, Dodge, Withering Insult
 Important Stuff Worn/Wielded. Beard (Armor, absorbs 1 point of damage).

JOHN F. KENNEDY (Male)
Brawn: 19; Body: 18; Brains: 7
Traits: Egomaniac, Irrepressible Optimist, Limousine Liberal
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Debate Philosophy, Knock Out, Seduction, Strike Pose, Run Away!, Walk and Chew Gum
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Nice Suit and Tie (clothes).

A ROLF! John F. Kennedy Memorial Special

Like the attack on Pearl Harbor and the destruction of the World Trade Center Towers, the assassination of President John F. Kennedy was a shock to the American system and psyche, It's not surprising that the past couple weeks have seen lots of Kennedy coverage and retrospectives.

Never ones to misuse a moment/trend, we at NUELOW Games hereby offers one as well. On this very day,  November 22, fifty years ago President Kennedy was assassinated by a pathetic little monkey named Lee Harvey Oswald. Oswald was himself assassinated two days later, bringing about the events we relate below.

ROLF!: JOHN F. KENNEDY vs. LEE HARVEY OSWALD

Design: Steve Miller - Editing: L.L Hundal

Copyright Steve Miller 2013

(permission granted to copy for personal gaming use)

This is a simple battle scenario for two players that uses the Houseboat on the River Styx and The Associated Shades of Hades setting as its starting point. (Well, the deaths of President Kennedy and his assassin are the starting points, but the world of Houseboat is what lets them meet.

BACKSTORY

"Wait... what happened?"

   Lee Harvey Oswald, Soviet Dupe (although he himself considered himself a soldier in the international army of partisans fighting for the freedom of the oppressed and downtrodden), looked around, confused. One moment, he had been with police and other running dog capitalist lackeys, the next he was laying in the bottom of a gently rocking small boat, There was a little water in it, and his ass was wet.

   "You're crossing the River Styx, my good man," 

   Oswald sat up and looked at the hooded figure at the boat;s stern. It was a small man in a hooded cloak, operating an outboard motor that put-putted far more softly than he would have expected. The man's face couldn't quite be made out in the deep shadows of the hood, but his eyes glittered and his teeth shone as he smiled and told Lee, "There's someone on the shore who really wants to meet you."

   "I don't know what's going on, but you need to get me to a payphone." Harvey looked around. The boat was moving across inky black water that was as smooth as glass. The craft was bound tightly by a fog so heavy that the boat's wake could barely be seen and no land was visible in any direction.

   "Not one for reading, eh?" the boatman said with a hint of condemnation in his voice. "If you were, you'd know what the River Styx was. Pick up that manual on the seat there. I'll give you your bearings."

   Oswald's gaze turned to the point indicated by the old man's bony finger and saw a booklet with what appeared to be Adam and Eve on the cover titled So You're Dead--Now What?: A Newcomer's Guide to Hades.

   "What the hell are you playing at?" Oswald shouted, getting to his feet.

   "It's personalized service," the boatman replied. "Mostly because bloody Captain Ahab thought he saw the White Whale and ran the usual ferry aground trying to chase it, but also because John wanted to make sure he knew exactly where you'd arrive so he could get to know you."

   "Turn his boat around, or I'll kill you." Harvey growled.

   "All-ashore who're going ashore," the boatman replied. The sudden jolt of the boat running aground toppled Harvey and sent him tumbling through the air. He landed hard in the tall grass on the riverbank. "Mr. Kennedy, meet Mr. Oswald."

   Oswald's head was spinning from the impact and as he looked up, he saw an impossible figure looming over him--the broad-shouldered shape of John F. Kennedy--the man he had assassinated two days prior.

   "So you're the coward who shot me," Kennedy grumbled, pulling Oswald to his feet. "Let's see how tough you are face-to-face."

   "No. Wait. This can't be happening!"

   And that's when Oswald noticed that Kennedy had a big knife and a machine gun slung over his shoulder.

  "But it is," Kennedy replied. "On behalf of the Associated Shades of Hades, let me welcome you to the Afterlife with a richly deserved ass-kicking.

PRE-GENERATED CHARACTERS

These characters are made using a few Traits and Battle Maneuvers not found in the main ROLF! bookbook. They are in the ROLF!: Dead Presidents supplement. (If this had been an actual product, we would have provided them along with the characters.)

JOHN F. KENNEDY (Male) 
Brawn: 28; Body: 18; Brains: 8
    Traits: Egomaniac, Limousine Liberal
    Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disarm, Debate Philosophy, Knock Out, Seduction, Strike Pose,
Run Away!, Walk and Chew Gum
    Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Combat Knife (Small Melee Weapon. Deals 2 points of dmg). Machine Gun (Medium Ranged Weapon. Deals 3 points of dmg. Ignores Armor.).

LEE HARVEY OSWALD (Male... sort of)
Brawn is 19; Body 10; Brains 4.
    Traits: Coldhearted, Dead-Eye, Dumb
    Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disarm, Dodge, Run Away!.
    Important Stuff Worn/Wielded:, Bayonet (Small Melee Weapon. 2 points of dmg.). Sniper Rifle
(Medium Ranged Weapon. 3 points of dmg. Ignores Armor.)

THE BATTLE SCENARIO
Kennedy and Oswald fight until one or the other is defeated. Then they can fight again the next day.

An Index of Houseboat on the River Styx ROLF! products:

The Associated Shades of Hades

Playwrights and Piledrivers

Serenade for Sirens in G Major

Dead Presidents