A tearful announcer on North Korean television reported the death of that nation's Dear Leader today. The cause of death was given as "overwork" spurred by a "lifetime of dedication to his people."
Some sources indicated that Kim was riding on a train at the time of his death, taking part in a Rap Battle against Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran to finally settle the dispute over which of them was craziest, and that the strain of 23 hours of straight rapping was too much for him.
Whatever the true cause of Kim's death, he has now joined the cast of characters for "Houseboat on the River Styx", so now he can REALLY be in an Epic Rap Battle of History.
ROLF! game stats for Kim Jong Il appeared in "ROLF!: The Breast Hope for Peace". (Ahmadinejad's stats also appear in that product, along with numerous other characters... so you can re-purpose the material to create a game scenario around the REAL Lil' Kim's final stand at the mic.)
We've never been ones to think that any joke is too old to not keep hammering, so we're including stats for Chuck Norris in "ROLF!: The Breast Hope for Peace." So, as a preview, here they are.
Chuck Norris (Male)
Brawn: 40; Body: 15; Brains: 8. Traits: Coldhearted, Dour, Too Sexy for My Shirt Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Bitch Slap, Debate Philosophy, Disarm, Furious Fists, Signature Move, Strike Pose, The Look.
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: He's Chuck f'n Norris... what could he possibly need?!
And here's ROLF! stats for Abe Lincoln, in case you want to bring Nice Peter's Epic Rap Battles of History: Abe Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris to the gaming table!
Abe Lincoln (Male)
Brawn: 39; Body: 16 (+1 Hat bonus included); Brains: 8. Traits: Nimble Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Debate Philosophy, Disarm, Disembowel, Do Lunch, Furious Fists, Signature Move, Strike Pose. Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Stove-pipe Top Hat (+1 Body ATT when worn). Axe Handle (Medium Melee Weapon. Deals 3 points of damage).
