Another Doomsday That Wasn't...

Damn it. It looks like we're going to have to pay our bills and visit with the in-laws this weekend after all. Another end-of-the-world prophesy has failed to come to pass. (The latest one was April 23, 2018.)

This post was originally made in response to a failed End of the World prediction a group called the eBible Fellowship. Their founder, Chris McCann, claimed the world would be anniahlated on October 7, 2015--a date he came up with after the world didn't end on his previously predicted doomsday in May of 2011. You can read all about him here.

Although my disappointment in still having to figure out where to get them money to pay my bills is threatening to throw me into a deep depression, I will instead return to pounding my keyboard and designing game material and writing fiction. The first item in this renewed existence is a d20 System feat celebrating the powers of Chris McCann and his fellow doomsday prophets (profiteers?).

The text in this post is presented under the Open Game License, and it may be reproduced within its terms. Copyright 2015 by Steve Miller.

The Doomsday Prophet feat is suitable for just about any RPG using the d20 System as its foundation. The reference to a Wealth bonus is a d20 Modern specific mechanic. It can be ignored or  replaced with whatever mechanism that exists to grant characters bonuses to treasure earned.


DOOMSDAY PROPHET [Bard, Cleric, Dedicated Hero, Charismatic Hero]
You regularly predict the end of the world... and you continue to be taken seriously when it doesn't come.
   Prerequisite: Cha 15, Do As I Say, Not As I Do feat.
   Benefit: +6 to all Bluff and Diplomacy checks. Make a doomsday prediction (Bluff check DC 18). If successful, your Wealth bonus increases by +2 until the Date of Doom arrives. The date must be within one year of the day you make the prediction.
   If the world doesn't end, make another Bluff check (DC22) to revise your prediction and give satisfactory reasons for why you were wrong the first time. Your Wealth bonus remains if the second check is successful. When the new date arrives, you can roll another Bluff check to revise the date yet again. If the check fails, you lose the Wealth bonus.
   You can only make a completely new Doomsday Prediction every 12 months minus your Charisma bonus.
   Special: Whenever you make a Doomsday Prediction that fails to come to pass, the bonus provided by this feat is reduced by one point. When the bonus is reduced to 0, this feat is replaced with the Deceptive feat.

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The Final Countdown! (Is the world gonna end THIS time?!)

I saw a headline today that read "Scientists Say Mass-Extinction Event Has Begun,"

Well, between that, global warming, super-viruses, and the ever-expanding clown-show that makes up those running for President of the United States of America, maybe history is finally coming to close. It seems like the perfect time to dust off this song--"The Final Countdown."

(This is a really interesting cover by Van Canto. Far more interesting than original tune... and just the sort of thing to listen to while staring down the end of the world.)




And, since the world is coming to and end (for SURE this time... none of this Mayan Calendar bullcrap like back in 2012... after all, we've all heard that THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED in regards to global warming... and now the Pope himself has added Climate Change to line-up of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse; the quartet is now officially a quintet!), it's now the perfect time to get the Complete Final Battles Bundle! This collection of epic battle scenarios will let you and your friends go out gaming (and laughing and rollplaying). Get these 12 classic ROLF! products from RPGNow or DriveThruRPG before it's too late!

Display cover image for The Complete Final Battles for ROLF!

This may be a bit premature...

... but it appears that another End of the World has come and gone. And yet, we're all still here.

Epic ROLF! scenarios by Hundal & Miller

 According to the claims of some "Norse mythology experts," today (Feb 22, 2014) is the day the Vikings predicted the World Would End... Ragnarok wold bring low the gods, the earth, reality itself.

And it's safe to say they were wrong. Loki's pet wolf hasn't eaten the sun. Earthquakes haven't spat Jotuns from the earth (or whatever). While there are still a few hours left to go here in 2/22/2014 here at NUELOW Central, it's been 2/23/2014 for about two hours at our branch office in Wadyia, and they seem to be fine.

Boy, do we regret taking the week off here at NUELOW Games and spending it in recreating Viking feasts. We're going to have an epic hangover tomorrow, and we're going to have to catch up on lots of work.

However, in celebration of yet another End of the World that has come and gone, we are offering ROLF!: Apocalypse Not free of charge through this week's Day of Odin. (That's Wednesday for all you non-Viking types.)

ROLF! Apocalypse Not was part of our Final Battles series, which was created to countdown to to the predicted End of the World i 2012. They're all available in one big bundle that can be yours by clicking here!

A full year's of ROLF! madness from Hundal & Miller!

Remember the time the world didn't end?

For all of 2012, we here at NUELOW Games hedged our bets that it was not pure idiocy to claim that the end of the ancient Mayan calendar predicted the end of the world/time/universe/whatever. Each month, we released what might have been final game product ever.

As it turned out, it was pure idiocy to believe the end of the Mayan calendar was the end of the world. The end of the Mayan calendar no more predicted the end of the world than the end of the 2012 Maxfield Parrish calendar in Steve Miller's office predicted the end of the world by coming to an end.

The end result is that history carries on... and we're offering you a chance to remember the year the world didn't end by getting all 12 Final Battles in one easy download and at a reduced price. From The Grim Reaper vs. the Fertility Goddess to Apocalypse Not, these supplements cover with width and breadth of what you and your friends can do with ROLF!: The Rollplaying of Big Dumb Fighters. New Combat Maneuvers and Traits, new Spellings, and rules for taking ROLF! in entirely new directions, such as into the superhero genre and giving gamers an opportunity to create and play angels, demons, and gods.

Click here to read details about each of the 12 Final Battles, or to download them all for just $4.

ROLF!: Jesus vs. Muhammad

Jesus and Muhammad square off in the forthcoming ROLF!: Christmas Chaos product. But the battle detailed there wasn't the first time they exchanged blows. That story is told below, in a free combat scenario that's part of our year-long Final Battle series during which we've been counting down to the end of the world. This may be the last rollplaying scenario you'll ever play, so we hope you have fun with it!

    I alone take responsibility for its content. My partner in ROLFing, L.L. Hundal, wishes to disavow hersel from anything involving the names "Muhammad" and "Jesus." She just had her hair done, and she doesn't want it messed up by illiterate idolators and fanatics who might take offense.

Jesus vs. Muhammad: Waiting for the End of the World

The Final Battle (#11.5 of 12) for Two Gamers

Background

It's Thursday, December 20, 2012. The Bolthole, Guardian City's largest survialist store, has been doing booming business as the citizens stock up on guns, food, and camo-toiletpaper in preperation for the terrible and vague doomsday that's been predicted to occur on December 21, 2012. It's been so busy that the store's shelves are almost empty.
    Jesus and Muhammad, both deciding at the last minute that they need to take steps to protect their family in case doomsday actually happens, have come to the store to get supplies. They may both be procrastinators, but when they swing into action, it's with the intent of getting the best for their loved ones. And in this case, it means buying the very expensive Chuck Norris and Cindy Crawford endorsed Complete Delux Doomsday Survival and Fitness Package (featuring soothing ointments and bathsalts made from Chuck Norris sweat).
    Both men reach the sheft at the same time--only to discover that there's only one kit left. Neither of them will back down, because the well-being of their family is at stake. Both men are also to proud and too stingy to try blackmail the other. So, there's only one option left: Violence.

The Battle
This scenario is intended for two players. It starts at Ranged distance and it continues until either Jesus or Muhammad have been defeated.

Pre-Generated Characters
Here are the family men of the hour.

 Jesus Mendez (Male)

Brawn 11, Body 14, Brains 5

Traits: Improv Master, Short-tempered

Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disarm, Dodge, Double Strike, The Look

Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Pistol (Small Ranged Weapon, deals 2 points of damage. 3 shots).

Muhammad Washington (Male)

Brawn 12, Body 12, Brains 5

Traits: Dour, Improv Master

Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disarm, Disembowel, Dodge, Withering Insult

Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Switchblade (Small Melee Weapon, deals 2 points of damage).

ROLF: The Final Battles (#7 - #9)

We're halfway through October 2012, and the world still hasn't ended!

Can it be that the ancient wise Mayans weren't all that wise, or that maybe those who thought their calendar predicted the end of the world in 2012 were as stupid as a person who would think the "Wonderful World of Cats" calendar in my kitchen would predicts the end of the world in 2012... because there's nothing on it past December 31, 2012?

We're going to continue to produce our "Final Battles" for ROLF!, just in case the world DOES end so you will have a chance to go out rollplaying. Here are the "Final Battles" that NUELOW Games released for August, September, and October.

FINAL BATTLE #7: DRAGON VS. TIGER--It's a well-known fact that Chinese dragons hate tigers, so can it really come as a surprise to anyone that Tiger Woods finds himself battling one on the golf course? This one brought the fun new Improv Master trait to ROLF! (because there's no other way to describe Jackie Chan, who joins Tiger Woods in this fight.)

FINAL BATTLE #8: R.L. McSTERLINGTHONG & NIKOLA TESLA VS. THE DAUGHTER OF SKULL-FACE--It's the most epic battle in the history of epicness! The man who IS fantasy teams up with the universe's greatest mad scientist to defeat the evil that is Skull-Face's daughter.

FINAL BATTLE #9: "BOND. JANE BOND."--Chinese dragons return to ROLF... but this time Britain's greatest secret agent and her License to Kill stand ready keep the ability to control them from falling into the wrong hands. Such as the hands of The Great Question.

Will there be a Final Battle #10? Time will tell, my friends. Time will tell... UNLESS IT RUNS OUT!!!!