Donald Trump and Jeb Bush ala ROLF!

It had to be done. You can now use You vs. Me or ROLF!:The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters to pit Jeb and The Donald against each other in a fight to the death. Or you can have them square off against Big H, or perhaps even B.O. himself. (Their stats can be found in ROLF!: Super Muslim Bros., among other places.)

The Donald and Jeb. Two Dweebs Enter. One Dweeb Leaves.

JEB BUSH (Male)

(aka JEB)

Brawn 15, Body 12, Brains 5

   Traits: Improv Master*, Squeamish

   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Debate Philosophy, Dodge, Signature Move*, Strategic Bleeding

   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Expensive Suit and Tie (Clothes). Pocket Knife (Small Melee Weapon. Deals 1 point of damage).

DONALD TRUMP (Male)

(aka The Donald)

Brawn 17, Body 11, Brains 4

   Traits: Coldhearted, Obnoxious

   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Bitch Slap, Debate Philosophy, Withering Insult*

   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Expensive Suit and Tie (Clothes). Hair (Armor, absorbs 1 point of damage).

*These traits and combat maneuvers are detailed in Relentlessly Gay, as well as other ROLF! supplements.

New Trait

This is a trait that has not been included in any ROLF! supplements. It appears here for the first time.

   Obnoxious: You roll against your ATT Body when using your Debate Philosophy combat maneuver (instead of ATT Brains, as is usually called for). Your arguments are so wrongheadedly obnoxious that, in addition to the function described in the core rules, you inflict 1 point of damage to all characters in the fight (including yourself). This damage ignores armor. All characters may roll a separate Brains ATT check to avoid the damage.