There aren't many of the characters featured in NUELOW Games releases that have music that is officially written for them. There may even be only one who has so moved a composer... so it's only fitting that character should the deadliest femme fatale to ever travel the multivese--the Sorceress of Zoom!
In May of 2015, the Esperanza Ensemble performed the world premiere of Justin E.A. Busch's "The Sorceress of Zoom, Op. 98." Here it is:
The Sorceress of Zoom has starred in two books from NUELOW Games. A third one, which will reveal her never-before-told origin story, will be released in 2016.
There has been a lack of Rick Astley-based RPG material. That changes NOW, as NUELOW Games presents the Man Himself as seen through the lens of the ROLF! rollplaying game, as well as a talent tree for OGL d20 Modern that was inspired by his mighty presence.
RICK ASTLEY ALA ROLF!
Now you can have Rick roll characters in ROLF! Battle Scenarios of your own creation!
RICK ASTLEY (Male)
Brawn 12, Body 16, Brains 7 Traits: Great Hair, Improv Master, Irrepressible Optimist, Nimble Battle Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Dancing Machine, Disarm, Signature Move, Seduce, Strike Pose, Yodel Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Brown Trenchcoat (armor, absorbs up to 1 point of damage). Turtleneck Sweater (clothes).
New Trait Great Hair: Provides a -1 to all Seduce ATT checks, added after any other bonuses or penalties have been applied. (Only applicable if the character isn't wearing a Hat.)
Charismatic Heroes, Dedicated Heroes, and Fast Heroes may select talents from this tree. They are also available to any character who possesses any one Minor Power feat (defined here, as part of the NUELOW Games OGL Superpowers System).
Never Gonna Give You Up, Never Gonna Let You Down: +4 bonus to all Bluff skill checks and Will saves that involve keeping the secrets of allied characters. When attempting to aid another with a skill check, if you roll a 10 or higher on your check, the character you're helping gets a +4 bonus on his or her check; if you roll a 15 or higher, he or she gets a +8 bonus to his or her check. Never Gonna Run Around and Desert You: Whenever you are within 10 ft. of an ally, you gain a+6 bonus to saving throws to resist all Charm and Fear effects--even if one would normally not be allowed--and you have a +4 bonus on rolls to resist the Intimidate skill. Never Gonna Make You Cry, Never Gonna Say Goodbye: Your allies gain a +4 bonus to all Morale checks when within 10 feet of you. If you are dropped below -10 hit points through any means, you may roll a Fort save (DC18) to be restored to exactly 0 hit points. If the source of the damage is ongoing, you may continue making these rolls until you are rescued. If you fail the Fort save and die, you immediately gain the Disembodied template. Never Gonna Tell a Lie or Hurt You: Like the Never Gonna Run around and Desert You talent, except you have complete immunity to Fear and Charm effects when within 10 feet of an ally, and the bonus to resist Intimidate skill checks increases to +8.
Prerequisite: Never Gonna Run around and Desert You
(Never fear... it's the actual song. We rather like it here at NUELOW Central.)
I saw a headline today that read "Scientists Say Mass-Extinction Event Has Begun,"
Well, between that, global warming, super-viruses, and the ever-expanding clown-show that makes up those running for President of the United States of America, maybe history is finally coming to close. It seems like the perfect time to dust off this song--"The Final Countdown."
(This is a really interesting cover by Van Canto. Far more interesting than original tune... and just the sort of thing to listen to while staring down the end of the world.)
And, since the world is coming to and end (for SURE this time... none of this Mayan Calendar bullcrap like back in 2012... after all, we've all heard that THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED in regards to global warming... and now the Pope himself has added Climate Change to line-up of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse; the quartet is now officially a quintet!), it's now the perfect time to get the Complete Final Battles Bundle! This collection of epic battle scenarios will let you and your friends go out gaming (and laughing and rollplaying). Get these 12 classic ROLF! products from RPGNow or DriveThruRPG before it's too late!
Display cover image for The Complete Final Battles for ROLF!
Who in their right mind would adapt a music video to the OGL d20 game system? No one, which is why Steve Miller of NUELOW Games did just that.
The following two feats were inspired by the video for the great pop tune "Safety Dance" from Men Without Hats. We naturally lay no claim to the song or the video, but the following rules text is presented under the Open Game License and may be reproduced in accordance with it. OGL Safety Dance Feats! Copyright Steve Miller 2015.
OGL SAFETY DANCE FEATS!
By Steve Miller
HALFLING SIDEKICK [Bard] Prerequisite: Bard lv. 3 Benefit: You gain a 1st level halfling bard as your follower. This NPC gains a level for every 2 levels you gain. The GM generates the initial stats (with the halfling having at least two ranks in Perform (dance), Perform (sing) and Perform (string instrument), but the player is otherwise responsible for tracking the character's development. Any rules that exist in the campaign for followers apply to this character, except as noted above.
THE SAFETY DANCE [Bard] Prerequisite: Bard lv. 8, Perform (dance) 6 ranks, perform (sing) 6 ranks, ability to cast the Irresistible Dance spell Benefit: You cast Irresistible Dance. For each following round, a number of characters equal to your Charisma bonus within 30 ft and line of sight. of the initial target must roll Will save at a -4 penalty. Each character who fails the saving throw also begins to dance. You can choose to lead dancing characters in a procession of dancers if you choose--they will follow you, mimicking your dance move for as long as the Irresistible Dance effect lasts. Special: The maximum duration of the effect on all dancing characters is 2d4+2 rounds from the point Irresistible Dance is cast. If you stop leading the dancers, they continue to dance in place until the duration is over. If any one of them is attacked or injured while dancing, all dancers receive individual Will saves. Those who succeed stop dancing and can act normally.
Although NUELOW Games has never been what even the most generous observers would describe as successful, we continue to hope we'll have a hit some day. Because, in the immortal words of Adam Ant there's always room at the top (and because we've got 18th century brains in 21st century heads)!
"Room at the Top," both the song and video, has been a favorite of the NUELOW Games crew (Steve Miller & L.L. Hundal for newcomers out there) for 25 years now. In fact, we've been big fans of Adam Ant since we were kids. (And if you ask us, any decent, pure-hearted Child of the '80s shares that love!)
Our hands-down favorite Adam Ant song and video remains "Puss 'n Boots," the lead track from Adam Ant's second solo album Strip, A great song with a really fun video. If you ever run into Hundal, ask her to do the "Puss in Boot Dance." She had it down perfectly in 1983... and it's been reported that she can do it to this very day. (However, when I asked her to do it, all she did was make a face at me.)
And, of course, there's "Stand and Deliver." It was perhaps Adam Ant's greatest hit, and it's cool in every way. Like "Room at the Top," it's also a song that speaks to the spirit that animates many of NUELOW Games' products, especially those bearing the ROLF! masthead.
Another song that thematically captures the spirit of NUELOW is "Friend or Foe." The refrain of this song could easily be the NUELOW Games slogan. It could even be my personal creed: "I want those who get to know me/To become my admirers or my enemies."
And here's the Ant Man himself, as viewed through the lens of ROLF! ADAM ANT (Male)
Brawn 19, Body 17, Brains 6 Traits: Improv Master, Nimble Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Dance Move, Dodge, Seduce, Strike Pose, Yodel
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Microphone Stand (Large Melee Weapon, deals 3 points of damage).
Just to bring the post full circle, here's the extended dance version of "Room at the Top." It's Music to Play ROLF! By!
(By the way, Adam Ant and his representatives do not endorse NUELOW Games in any way, shape, or form. We, however, endorse Adam Ant in a major way!)
We love Christmas here at NUELOW Central. We love Christmas music. We love having fun with Christmas (as our several Christmas Specials show) and we love music and art that has fun with Christmas. And they don't get much more fun than this...
(No game content or plugs this time around... just a post in anticipation of Christmas! Because we love this time of year! [And I particularly love this video because I always appreciate a good call-back.)
We live each day like there's nothing to lose, But a man has needs and that need is booze. They say all the best things in life are free. So give all your beer and your rum to me! We are here to drink your beer And steal your rum at a point of a gun Your alcohol to us will fall 'Cause we are here to drink your beer!
d20 OGL BOOZING RULES
Here's are some quick and dirty rules for using alcohol in your d20 OGL Modern games. Like everything in RPGs, this is an effort to model fantasy, not reality. You should always drink responsibly, alcohol is addictive and shouldn't be treated lightly... and so on, and so forth, blah-blah-blah.
All text in this post from this point forward is presented under the Open Game License.
Drinking and Getting Drunk
During one hour, a character may consume a number of alcoholic beverages equal to 1/3rd his or her Constitution score. For each drink after that requires a requires a Constitution check (DC 12 + 2 per additional drink) with any racial or other bonus against poison modifying the roll.
Each failed check means 1 temporary damage to your Dexterity and Wisdom scores, and a -1 penalty to your Constitution for the purpose of resisting the effects of further drinks. If your Wisdom or Constitution scores are reduced to 0, you pass out.
For each failed check, you also suffer a -1 penalty to all melee attack rolls.
Once the character fails his or her first Constitution check, he or she is considered to be "under the influence." This state persists until all damage to ability scores has been regained. (Note that alcohol is a poison, so spells that neutralize poison can end the effects of alcohol early and restore lost attribute points more quickly.)
Damage to ability scores from alcohol is recovered at the rate of 2 per hour during which the character doesn't drink any alcoholic beverages, or after "sleeping it off." The penalty to attack rolls is reduced at a rate of +2 each hour..
Upon waking up after getting drunk enough to have his or her attribute scores drop below their full values, the character make a successful Fort save (DC18) modified by any racial or other bonus against poison). If the saving throw fails, the character suffers a -2 penalty to all attack rolls and skill checks for 1d3+1 hours.
BOOZEHOUND TALENT TREE
This talent tree is for hard-drinking characters of any class. Drink Like a Fish: For each drink after the prescribed maximum (see Drinking and Getting Drunk), the character rolls a Fort save (DC12 +1 per additional drink) instead of the Constitution check. Hold Your Liquor: You can consume a number of alcoholic beverages equal to 1/2 your Constitution score before you need to start rolling checks (instead of the usual amount equal to 1/3rd of your Constitution score). Mean Drunk: When under the influence (See Drinking and Getting Drunk), you hit even harder than you do when you’re sober. You gain +1d6 bonus to damage inflicted with melee and thrown weapons.
You may select this talent more than once. Each time it is chosen the damage bonus is increased by 1d6, to a maximum of +5d6. Prerequisite: Any one Boozehound Talent Drunken Master:Instead of suffering a -1 penalty for each failed attribute check or saving throw to resist the influence of alcohol, you gain a +1 bonus to melee attack rolls. Prerequisite: Any one Boozehound Talent
The official theme song for Complete Golden Age Oddballs: Kismet & Penny Parker: "Walk Like an Egyptian" as performed by The Puppini Sisters.
Complete Golden Age Oddballs: Kismet & Penny Parker collects for the first time anywhere all the published stories featuring two obscure Golden Age characters and then unites them in a shared universe. Kismet was the very first Muslim superhero (who may or may not have been from Egypt), and in plot devised by Miller that unites them, Penny Parker ends up teaming with Kismet and traveling through the Middle East for several years.
It's election day in the U.S. The main people involved at NUELOW Games are a first generation American and an immigrant, so we take our participation in the democratic process here seriously. We hope you do as well.
However, after you've voted, we hope you'll enjoy a free comic book on us. (And if you aren't eligible to vote, or aren't even American, you're welcome to it as well.)
We hope your you don't have any local politicians like the ones Dynamic Boy has to contend with in his origin story. In addition to the Dynamic Boy story, the Dynamic Boy Election Day Special features stats for use with the ROLF! RPG.
And just because we love this song and video (and because we like to imagine they're playing ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game at one point) here's "Election Day" by Arcadia.
NUELOW's ROLF! game began its life as a parody of RPGs. One of the first battle scenarios (which has since been lost to time) that was played using a draft of the game that was little more than three paragraphs, involved two male models beating each other up during a fashion show, and the winner then having to face off against a child model (which may or may not have been skinny little Milla Jovovich--neither L.L. Hundal nor I remember for certain if that was the case... but our Jovovich obsession does go way, WAY back).
But we both recall that the one thing that was present in the game from the earliest draft was a battle maneuver (that later became a trait) called Too Sexy For My Shirt. And it was there because that very first battle scenario was inspired by Right Said Fred's song and video "I'm Too Sexy."
That song remains part of ROLF!'s DNA even now, some 20 years later. Check it out below.
They're too sexy for their shirts: Right Said Fred
Some parody songs are more amusing and entertaining than the source they are based on. A perfect example of that is Weird Al's "Party in the CIA." It's got better lyrics than the original and its video even makes more sense.
It's a favorite of the NUELOW Gang, even if L.L. Hundal's Significant Other has banned it from their home, because Hundal would play it over and over while singing along as she searched through comics for us to republish.
ROLF!: Zero vs. One is a full-fledged ROLF! supplement with two battle scenarios, four pre-generated characters, and a number of new Battle Maneuvers and Traits. In addition, it features the complete run of Madam Zero, an obscure back-up series from Fiction House's Fight Comics that featured one of comicdom's most mysterious heroines. And Madam Zero is exactly the sort of character that "Party in the CIA" is about.
If we could, we'd hire MercyMe as the NUELOW Games houseband... we love their cover tunes! (I admit we're not terribly familiar with what they're most famous for--which is Christian rock.)
And in the spirit of the approaching Halloween holiday, we present them performing "Thriller", Michael Jackson's famous tribute to monster movies. And we feel that the approach MercyMe takes to monsters is about in line with what we did with our Halloween product "Creature Feature." Check out the great song, below, and the check out the ROLF! tribute to the classic monsters of film and literature by clicking here.
It may come as a shock to you, but I am not terribly hip or with-it, so pop culture phenomenons often leave me scratching my head. (L.L. Hundal is slightly more in touch with the coolness of the universe, but that's because she lives in the pop cultural mecca that is Salt Lake City.)
When I first started listening to Psy's "Gangnam Style", I was thinking "Geeze, another cookie-cutter piece of crap." But I then I noticed how hilarious the video was. The VIDEO is what makes this thing worth listening to. It's full of hilarity, some screamingly obvious and others subtle but all perfectly timed.
As for the lyrics, I've now know what they say, courtesy of this webpage, and the video does them justice:
- Gangnam Style -
Oppa is Gangnam style Gangnam style A girl who is warm and humanle during the day A classy girl who know how to enjoy the freedom of a cup of coffee A girl whose heart gets hotter when night comes A girl with that kind of twist I’m a guy A guy who is as warm as you during the day A guy who one-shots his coffee before it even cools down A guy whose heart bursts when night comes That kind of guy Beautiful, loveable Yes you, hey, yes you, hey Beautiful, loveable Yes you, hey, yes you, hey Now let’s go until the end Oppa is Gangnam style, Gangnam style Oppa is Gangnam style, Gangnam style Oppa is Gangnam style Eh- Sexy Lady, Oppa is Gangnam style Eh- Sexy Lady oh oh oh oh A girl who looks quiet but plays when she plays A girl who puts her hair down when the right time comes A girl who covers herself but is more sexy than a girl who bares it all A sensable girl like that I’m a guy A guy who seems calm but plays when he plays A guy who goes completely crazy when the right time comes A guy who has bulging ideas rather than muscles That kind of guy Beautiful, loveable Yes you, hey, yes you, hey Beautiful, loveable Yes you, hey, yes you, hey Now let’s go until the end Oppa is Gangnam style, Gangnam style Oppa is Gangnam style, Gangnam style Oppa is Gangnam style Eh- Sexy Lady, Oppa is Gangnam style Eh- Sexy Lady oh oh oh oh On top of the running man is the flying man, baby baby I’m a man who knows a thing or two On top of the running man is the flying man, baby baby I’m a man who knows a thing or two You know what I’m saying Oppa is Gangnam style Eh- Sexy Lady, Oppa is Gangnam style Eh- Sexy Lady oh oh oh oh
And the video and the lyrics become even funnier if you know how they fit into the map of Korean society. This article explains that nicely.
With every success, comes parodies and covers... and "Gangnam Syle" is no exception. I keep typing it "Gundam Style", so there may be a good parody based off that coming eventually... but not yet.)
We're going to give you the best parody up front... it takes "Gangnam Style" and crosses it with the characters and music from one of the greatest movies ever made--"Big Trouble in Little China." The result is "Lo Pan Style"... and watch for the great cameo from James Wong.
Here's one from Jervy Hou that's almost as funny as the original. For your amusement: "Gunman Style."
And not to be outdone, the Klingons and Trekkies are getting in on the action with the hilarious "Oppa Klingon Style".
And here's a Japanese perspective with "You Study Like Sh*t"....
And then there's this:
Finally, here's an alternate English translation being performed. :)
Artist Todd Lockwood inadvertently took a step to make sure no work will be done at NUELOW Games today: He pointed us to videos by MercyMe, perhaps the wackiest live cover band ever! (They may replace the Ukele Orchestra of the UK as our dream house band for when we Hit It Big.)
Here are few of my favorite MercyMe videos (so far):
And the award for Best Use of Random Headgear by a Cover Band goes to MercyMe.
Somewhere, Jon Bon Jovi wondered why a chill ran down his spine....
And one final one, because L.L. Hundal will either love me or kill me for this (given that she has been known to dance around and sing like a lunatic to the original version):
The first full-blown supplement for ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters was "Icing Oetzi," a little tribute to the frozen mummy found in the Italian Alps nick-named Oetzi the Iceman. It appears we here at NUELOW Games aren't the only ones fascinated by him. as exhibited by "Iceman" by the Amy Burvall and the Historyteachers.
And while we're here, go ahead and check out "Here Come the Huns Again"...
... "Beowulf" (This one is particularly fun, for several subtle reasons)...
Together on stage for the first time -- Michael Jackson! Jimi Hendrix! Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart! With a special appearance by Ophelia on the cowbell!
It promises to be the biggest musical night EVER, as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart invites the Associated Shades of Hades to a special pay-at-the-door concert is celebration of his birthday and deathday with the premiere performance of his latest composition... but will he and his fellow musicians be reduced to blobs of ectoplasms by the jealousy-motivated attack from Tiny Tim and the Three Sirens before they can play the first note?
"Serenade for Sirens in G Major" is a new battle scenario for ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters, and it is being released in observance of the anniversary of Mozart's death on December 5. It features six pre-generated characters (Mozart, Jimi Hendrix, Michael Jackson, Tiny Tim, the Three Sirens, and Ophelia) and six new Combat Maneuvers (including Dance Move and Power Chord).
Here's a treat... the video for the original 1985 version of Falco's "Rock Me Amadeus." The bit with Mozart partying in the biker bar is a definite ROLF!/Houseboat on the River Styx moment!
And further... here are ROLF! stats for Flaco, who died in a traffic accident on Feb. 2, 1998. Perhaps he can come to Mozart's rescue if things go badly against Tiny Tim and the Sirens, or maybe he can replace Michael Jackson in the combat scenario.
Falco (Male)
Body: 22, Body: 14, Brains: 5 Traits: Nimble Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Double Strike, Strike Pose, Walk and Chew Gum, Yodel. Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Clothes (Dapper Tuxedo), Microphone Stand (Large Melee Weapon. Deals 3 points of damage.)
