Thursday, March 8, 2012

The ROLF! International Women's Day Celebration

It's International Women's Day, and we here at NUELOW Games are celebrating. Steve is hitting on every international woman he finds, and L.L. Hundal is taking the day off to sit on the couch, while watching "The View" and "The Maury Povich Show" and eating Bon-Bons.

And, of course, we're offering this celebration of International Woman's Day, in this the year of the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts. (All blame for these characters and combat scenarios should be assigned to L.L. Hundal. This is one case where Steve Miller will NOT take the blame!)


A ROLF! Battle Scenario for 2 Players by L.L. Hundal

Mel the Girl Scout Leader was thrilled when she was invited to the office of former U.S. President Bill Clinton in order to celebrate not only International Woman's Day, but also the 100th anniversary of the founding of the Girl Scouts. She soon learned that Bill was looking for a different sort of thrill... and when he offered her the same position that Monica Lewisky had once filled, she knew she had to Be Prepared to Run Away!

This combat scenario is designed for two gamers, with one gamer controlling Bill Clinton and another controlling Mel and Hillary.

Pre-Generated Characters
Brawn: 23; Body: 14; Brains: 6
Traits: Egomaniac, Limousine Liberal, Irrepresible Optimist
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Debate Philosophy, Murderous Mitts, Seduction, Strike Pose, Run Away!
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Expensive Suit (Clothes), Cigar-case (Single-shot Ranged Weapon. Deals 1 point of dmg).

Bill Clinton, Presidential Horndog

Brawn: 25; Body: 13; Brains: 6
Traits: Dour
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Castrate, Debate Philosophy, Furious Fists, Run Away!, Signature Move
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Expensive Pants Suit (Clothes), Bust of Elanor Roosevelt (Large Melee Weapon. Deals 4 points of dmg).

Hillary Clinton, Wife of the Horndog

Brawn: 20; Body: 17; Brains: 5
Traits: Irrepresible Optimist, Nimble
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disembowel, Furious Fists, Run Away!, Walk and Chew Gum
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Girl Scout Uniform (Clothes), Girl Scout Shash with Badges (Armor OR Weapon. When Worn, it functions as Armor, absorbs 1 point of dmg. When wielded it functions as a Melee Weapon, dealing 2 points of dmg).

Mel the Girl Scout

The Combat Scenario
The combat scenario begins with Bill chasing Mel around the desk in his office. Mel can attempt to end the combat by using Run Away!, but Bill can counter her attempts by successfully using the Run Away! combat maneuver.

If Mel should fall victim to Bill's Seduction combat maneuver, be reduced to 0 Brawn through combat, or manage to Run Away!, Mel's player takes control of Hillary Clinton... who bursts onto the scene at the end of that ruond to visit wrathful vengenace on her husband and, if need be, save the hapless Girl Scout.

If Hillary should be defeated, Mel returns to attack Bill. Her Irrepressible Optimist trait has been replaced with Dour if this occurs.

The battle continues until Bill Clinton or both ladies are defeated.

Bill Clinton Celebrates International Women's Day with a Girl Scout is a work of fiction. Any similarity to real people, living or dead, without satirical purpose is purely coincidential. (We really have no idea who is on those pictures we've posted... and that's our story and we're sticking to it!)
Text Coyright 2011 NUELOW Games, but you can always copy the text to make a print out for personal use if you like. Or you can just play it on your nifty iPad thingie. We wish someone would celebrate International Women's Day by giving us iPads....)

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