Never ones to misuse a moment/trend, we at NUELOW Games hereby offers one as well. On this very day, November 22, fifty years ago President Kennedy was assassinated by a pathetic little monkey named Lee Harvey Oswald. Oswald was himself assassinated two days later, bringing about the events we relate below.
ROLF!: JOHN F. KENNEDY vs. LEE HARVEY OSWALD
Design: Steve Miller - Editing: L.L Hundal
Copyright Steve Miller 2013
(permission granted to copy for personal gaming use)
This is a simple battle scenario for two players that uses the Houseboat on the River Styx and The Associated Shades of Hades setting as its starting point. (Well, the deaths of President Kennedy and his assassin are the starting points, but the world of Houseboat is what lets them meet.
"Wait... what happened?"
Lee Harvey Oswald, Soviet Dupe (although he himself considered himself a soldier in the international army of partisans fighting for the freedom of the oppressed and downtrodden), looked around, confused. One moment, he had been with police and other running dog capitalist lackeys, the next he was laying in the bottom of a gently rocking small boat, There was a little water in it, and his ass was wet.
"You're crossing the River Styx, my good man,"
Oswald sat up and looked at the hooded figure at the boat;s stern. It was a small man in a hooded cloak, operating an outboard motor that put-putted far more softly than he would have expected. The man's face couldn't quite be made out in the deep shadows of the hood, but his eyes glittered and his teeth shone as he smiled and told Lee, "There's someone on the shore who really wants to meet you."
"I don't know what's going on, but you need to get me to a payphone." Harvey looked around. The boat was moving across inky black water that was as smooth as glass. The craft was bound tightly by a fog so heavy that the boat's wake could barely be seen and no land was visible in any direction.
"Not one for reading, eh?" the boatman said with a hint of condemnation in his voice. "If you were, you'd know what the River Styx was. Pick up that manual on the seat there. I'll give you your bearings."
Oswald's gaze turned to the point indicated by the old man's bony finger and saw a booklet with what appeared to be Adam and Eve on the cover titled So You're Dead--Now What?: A Newcomer's Guide to Hades.
"What the hell are you playing at?" Oswald shouted, getting to his feet.
"It's personalized service," the boatman replied. "Mostly because bloody Captain Ahab thought he saw the White Whale and ran the usual ferry aground trying to chase it, but also because John wanted to make sure he knew exactly where you'd arrive so he could get to know you."
"Turn his boat around, or I'll kill you." Harvey growled.
"All-ashore who're going ashore," the boatman replied. The sudden jolt of the boat running aground toppled Harvey and sent him tumbling through the air. He landed hard in the tall grass on the riverbank. "Mr. Kennedy, meet Mr. Oswald."
Oswald's head was spinning from the impact and as he looked up, he saw an impossible figure looming over him--the broad-shouldered shape of John F. Kennedy--the man he had assassinated two days prior.
"So you're the coward who shot me," Kennedy grumbled, pulling Oswald to his feet. "Let's see how tough you are face-to-face."
"No. Wait. This can't be happening!"
And that's when Oswald noticed that Kennedy had a big knife and a machine gun slung over his shoulder.
"But it is," Kennedy replied. "On behalf of the Associated Shades of Hades, let me welcome you to the Afterlife with a richly deserved ass-kicking.
These characters are made using a few Traits and Battle Maneuvers not found in the main ROLF! bookbook. They are in the ROLF!: Dead Presidents supplement. (If this had been an actual product, we would have provided them along with the characters.)
Brawn: 28; Body: 18; Brains: 8
Traits: Egomaniac, Limousine Liberal
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disarm, Debate Philosophy, Knock Out, Seduction, Strike Pose,
Run Away!, Walk and Chew Gum
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Combat Knife (Small Melee Weapon. Deals 2 points of dmg). Machine Gun (Medium Ranged Weapon. Deals 3 points of dmg. Ignores Armor.).
LEE HARVEY OSWALD (Male... sort of)
Brawn is 19; Body 10; Brains 4.
Traits: Coldhearted, Dead-Eye, Dumb
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disarm, Dodge, Run Away!.
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded:, Bayonet (Small Melee Weapon. 2 points of dmg.). Sniper Rifle
(Medium Ranged Weapon. 3 points of dmg. Ignores Armor.)
THE BATTLE SCENARIO
Kennedy and Oswald fight until one or the other is defeated. Then they can fight again the next day.
An Index of Houseboat on the River Styx ROLF! products: