Friday, January 10, 2014

ROLF!: Shia LaBeouf vs. Alan Moore

Recently, actor Shia LaBeouf and writer Alan Moore separately announced their retirement from public life. A ROLF! battle scenario came to mind.

By Steve Miller
(soon to be the work of Shia LaBeouf and Grant Morrison)
Permission granted to copy for personal use and amusement.

"It's done!" said Shia LaBeouf. "I have announced my retreat from public life because of the meanies in the media... and I'm getting more attention than ever! Yay! It sure was great that Alan Moore did the same thing back just before New Year's or I may never have thought to do it!"
   There's a knock at the door.
   "Are you Shia LaBeouf?" asks the old man with the wild beard and hair when Shia opens the door.
   "Yes. I am the actor/writer/artist known as Shia, who recently retired from pubic life because of negative comments about me in the media."
   "I'm Alan Moore, and I'm here ta kill you, you fookin' thief!"

The Battle
The fight is for two players. each controlling a character. It continues until one of the characters is defeated.

The Characters
There are several traits and battle maneuvers not in the core ROLF! game. Sorry. Most of the ones not there can be found in ROLF!: Old and Angry. (The one all-new Trait, Plagiarist, is detailed under "New Traits.")

Brawn 20, Body 13, Brains 7
  Traits: Improv Master, Old, So Very British
  Battle Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Double Strike, Debate Philosophy, Dodge, Murderous Mitts, Signature Move, Withering Insult
Alan Moore

Brawn 19, Body 19, Brains 4
  Traits: Improv Master, Plagiarist
  Battle Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Debate Philosophy, Strategic Bleeding, Strike Pose

Shia LaBeouf

New Traits
Plagiarist: Once per round, the character can use any Battle Maneuver or Spelling that has been used by any other character in the fight. If the ATT check to use the "borrowed" attack fails, the character loses one Body ATT point.


In a show of appreciation for the great talent that is Shia LaBeouf, here is a feat for use with your d20 System. I'm putting it here, and I'm going to claim it as my own. After all, art should be free and we should all be free to claim that we create whatever art we feel like claiming we create!

Plagiarist [General]
You gain a +4 bonus to Linguistics checks to create (but not detect) forgeries, and when you impersonate a specific person those who know the target of your impersonation get only half the normal bonus to their Perception checks to realize you are a fake. (#microfeats)

1 comment:

  1. That's a lot of brawn for a doddering old man (Alan, not Shia). Since Alan is a self-professed occultist and magician, should he get some magic spells?