Saturday, November 26, 2016

Castro vs. Kennedy (A ROLF!: Houseboat on the River Styx Battle Scenario)

On November 25, 2016, the long-time dictator of the Cuban communist regime, Fidel Castro, passed away. This is some of what happened next, as Castro joins the cast of characters in NUELOW Games' A Houseboat on the River Styx setting. Based on the writings of John Kendrick Bangs, it's a place where historical figures and fictional characters meet, have adventures, and fight with each other.
   This post contains ROLF! stats for Kennedy and Castro, so you can play out their first meeting in the afterlife.

   "Ay caramba!" exclaimed Fidel Casto. "You mean I really, truly am dead?!"
   "Yes." Charon nodded almost imperceptibly within the shadows of his voluminous hood. "The land you have arrived in is Hades, and the river we just crossed is Styx."
   "But there is a city here! And over there--a houseboat with a gringo dressed up like Shakespeare! And there are people riding horses, people riding in cars, people--people riding on dragons?!"
   Castro pointed skyward where a sleek, scaly azure dragon was winging its way way through the cloudy sky after a furry white one; on the back of each, a human form could be discearned, and a woman's voice drifted down, "Fates curse you, Atreyu--you bring back my helmet, or I'll make you wish you'd been swallowed up by Despair and Hopelessness!"
   Again, near-invisible nod of Charon's head. "Yes... Hades is a land where creations of the imagination and the spirits of those who have fired imaginations live and mingle. You will find that--"
   "Well, I'll be! If it isn't Fidel Castro!"
   Charon and Fidel turned in the direction of the voice. John F. Kennedy came striding onto the boat dock.
   "Kennedy," Castro said coldly, his eyes narrowing under his bushy brows.
   "Fidel," Kennedy said, smiling. "I guess the cigars finally killed you, eh?"
   "Indeed. But it took 50 years longer than the bullet that finished you off."
   "Why, you commie bastard!"
   "Capitalist pig!"
   "Gentlemen, gentlemen," Charon said, waving his gnarled hands to get their attention. "There is no need to--"
   "Stay out of this," roared Kennedy and Castro in unison, each turning their baleful stares on Charon--causing him to shrink further into the shadows of his robe--before locking eyes with each other.
   "You're about to get your ass kicked so hard you're going to wish you were alive again," Kennedy snarled.
   "Less talk, more fight, bourgeois dog!"
   As the fists started to fly, Charon boarded his boat and shoved off. "I'll be back," he said, "when you gentlemen are finished. Nikita, Che, and Karl wanted me to bring Fidel by so they could get a bridge game going."

Castro and Kennedy start fighting at close range. The fight ends when one defeats the other.

Brawn 20, Body 13, Brains 5
Traits: Coldhearted, Egomaniac, Stone Cold Killer
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Bitch Slap, Debate Philosophy, Dodge, Withering Insult
 Important Stuff Worn/Wielded. Beard (Armor, absorbs 1 point of damage).

Brawn: 19; Body: 18; Brains: 7
Traits: Egomaniac, Irrepressible Optimist, Limousine Liberal
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Debate Philosophy, Knock Out, Seduction, Strike Pose, Run Away!, Walk and Chew Gum
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Nice Suit and Tie (clothes).

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