Do you need help with your Trump Anxiety?

TRIGGER WARNING! DONALD TRUMP AHEAD! (Although this post will provide with information on how to deal with your Trump Anxiety, we realize that you are fragile and we want to prepare you, so we don't cause you to have an episode.)


A new disorder is sweeping the nation--Trump Anxiety. Once thought limited only to certain segments of the Republican Party leadership, and particularly hysterical Democrats, this condition has spread to a surprisingly wide percentage of the population in the United States of America and even abroad. The Chicago Tribune (courtesy of the WaPo's syndication service) reports on the affliction and those tortured souls who suffer from it, here.

Does this man haunt your dreams? NUELOW can help!

We here at NUELOW Games hate to see our fellow human beings suffer, so we've created some material to help those who suffer from Trump Anxiety to confront your fears and move beyond them.... and they'll cost you far, far less than what you'll pay a therapist, be it for massage or mental therapy.


THE NUELOW GAMES CURE FOR TRUMP ANXIETY!
Follow these easy steps, and you'll be on your way to curing yourself of your Trump Anxiety. Roleplaying has long been used to confront fears and derangements by therapists. We are now taking those concepts into the realm of self-help/self-service and rollplaying.

Step One: Verify You Actually Suffer From the Condition. If the header of this post, or the picture of The Donald above troubled you, maybe you suffer from Trump Anxiety. To be sure, however, you need to click on this link to inspect a different post on this blog. It contains another picture of Trump, along with a set of stats that represent him in the ROLF! rollplaying game system. If your distress grows by viewing that page, you suffer from Trump Anxiety.

Step Two: Get a copy of You vs. Me and Relentlessly Gay. These rollplaying products provide the framework within which you will confront your fears. Also, get a copy of Professor Fiend. This book contains additional tools to help you overcome your Trump Anxiety, as well as game statistics for The Donald similar to the ones you've already seen on this blog. (To provide maximum access to the therapeutic powers of rollplaying, all three of those products are available in one easy download, at a discount. Click here to get the Trump Anxiety Self-Help Kit.)

Step Three: Find a friend, or a Fellow Sufferer of Trump Anxiety. Create characters of yourself and your friend, using You vs. Me. Then, using either the statistics for Donald Trump presented on this blog, or in Professor Fiend, pit the character you have made against Trump, within the safety of a rollplaying game. You will see that he is nothing to be afraid of. Take turns defeating him if necessary. You can also play through the battle scenario in Professor Fiend for a further illustration of how ridiculous Trump is... and how ridiculous it is to suffer from Trump Anxiety. For extra relaxation and perspective, read the comics in Professor Fiend.

Step Four: Actively Support Another Candidate. America is a democratic Republic for God's sake. Trump may behave like he's going to be the Dictator-in-Chief, but if everyone gets off their asses and stops whining about him on the internet and instead becomes active in the Republican or Democratic parties, he will be relegated to his rightful status as a joke and a footnote in history even before the primaries have run their course. You can join Step Three and Step Four together, doing them at the same time. You can even pit Hillary Clinton or other political figures against Trump using other NUELOW Games releases, further proving to yourself that your Trump Anxiety is completely unfounded. (Just don't use Bernie Sanders. He's going to lose every time.)
Step Five: Vote in the General Election. If you know who you're going to vote for, you know you have nothing to fear from Trump... because you know other sane people are going to be voting like you are. Especially if you've been talking to them while engaging in Step Four.

THE THREE PARTS OF THE TRUMP ANXIETY SELF-HELP KIT:

 

Click to order a Trump Anxiety Self-Help Kit from NUELOW Games!

The Wand of Zoom

The Sorceress of Zoom is a dimension-striding villainess who is featured a series of comics/rpg hybrid books from NUELOW Games. Here's d20 System stats for one of the Sorceress's symbols of her mastery of the magical city of Zoom, and one of her most potent magical weapons. (A version of this will be appearing in the forthcoming third Sorceress of Zoom book. Any comments you have are welcomed.)

The following material is presented under the Open Game License and may be reproduced in accordance with it. Copyright 2016 by Steve Miller.

The Wand of Zoom
A symbol of office of the master of the magical city of Zoom, this golden wand is sllghtly longer than one foot in length and topped with the three dimensional version of the Seal of Zoom on its tip. If subjected to *detect magic*, the Wand appears to be a Wand of Lightning with five charges remaining.
   When wielded by the rightful ruler of Zoom (someone who has claimed the Throne of Zoom and has possession of the Crown of Zoom and the Staff of Zoom), the wand grants the following powers -- at a cost:
  * Cast any 1st through 9th level Arcane or Divine Spell with the wand serving as the replacement for any material components needed, except for scrying spells which still require a mirror or pool of still water. You can cast a number of spells equal to your Intelligence bonus each day. The wand drains 100 XP per spell level when the spell is cast.
   * Once per day, transform a living being into an inanimate object of your choosing. The being remains transformed until you will the transformation. The target receives a Fort save (DC18) to not be transformed. If the save succeeds, the creature is subjected to the effect of a Hold Monster spell as if cast by a 20th level caster (no saving throw, although item-based immunities apply). The target remains transformed until a rightful ruler of Zoom uses the want to undo the spell. The target remains aware of his or her surroundings during the transformation and radiates weak transmutation magic if such is detected for. The wand drains 500XP when the attempt to transform a target is made, and 200XP to restore the target's appearance. (The target creature may also be restored to its original form with a Wish spell cast by a 20th level caster.)
   If a creature who isn't the rightful ruler of Zoom attempts to use the Wand, he or she must roll a Will save (DC12) or fall into a deep sleep that lasts for 12 hours or until a *dispel magic* is cast by a 20th level caster. The saving throw must be rolled every time the Wand is used. In the hands of anyone but the rightful ruler of Zoom, the Wand of Zoom functions like a wand of lightning (12th level effectiveness) with 5 charges. Once the five charges have been spent, the Wand becomes non-functioning until it is once again in the hand of its rightful owner.

The Sorceress using the Wand of Zoom (Art by Don Rico.)

Check out NUELOW Games' Sorceress of Zoom and Sorceress of Zoom: Down to Earth, available at DriveThruComics.

d20 System Racial Templates

In this day and age when diversity (especially racial diversity) is to be encouraged and celebrated everywhere and anywhere and in all things, it's highly inappropriate for Humans to just be Humans in d20 System games.

To solve that problem, NUELOW Games proudly presents Human Racial Templates, as designed by L.L. Hundal. We are presenting these rules under the Open Game License, and we expect every right-minded gaming group to implement them immediately and make your d20 System games more reflective of the reality that is the modern gaming community. (The Racial Templates rules are Copyright 2016 by Steve Miller).

RACIAL TEMPLATES
During character generation, a player must assign a race to any Human character he or she creates and apply the appropriate racial template. The player can apply the template and modifications at any point during the character generation process.
   A character's race can also be randomly deterined by rolling 1d6.

    Race           Modifications
1. Arab           +2 Constitution, -2 to all Will saves
2. Asian          +2 Intelligence, -2 to all Fort saves
3. Black          +2 Strength, -1 Wisdom
4. Hispanic     +1 Dexterity, +1 to all Hide skill checks
5. Jewish        +1 Wisdom, +1 to all Bluff skill checks
6. White         +2 Charisma, -1 Dexterity

   Did you find this material amusing or useful? Check out NUELOW Games' d20 System products at RPGNow. Support us with a few coins and bring uniqueness to your games!

The White Male Talent Tree

For your d20 Modern needs. (This material is presented under the Open Game License. Copyright 2016 by Steve Miller.)

THE WHITE MALE TALENT TREE
Talents from this tree are available to all classes. They can be selected whenever a character that meets the prerequisites is able to choose a new talent when gaining a level.
   Prerequisite: White Male Human, Elf, or Dwarf.
   Privileged: You gain a +2 bonus to all Bluff and Diplomacy skill checks when interacting with authority figures.
   Boys' Club: Your Wealth bonus increases by +1.
   Prerequisite: Privileged
  Agent of the Patriarchy: You gain a +2 bonus to all Bluff and Intimidate skill checks when interacting with female characters.
   Prerequisite: Boys' Club
   White Oppressor: You gain a +2 bonus to all Bluff, Diplomacy, and Intimidate skill checks when interacting with Peoples of Color and Humanoids (non-humans).
  Prerequisite: Agent of the Patriarchy
  Flamboyantly Heterosexual: You gain a +2 bonus to checks involving feats of Strength, as well as a +2 bonus to Bluff, Diplomacy, and Intimidate skill checks made while bare-chested or wearing a wife-beater shirt.
   Bonus Feat: You gain one of the following feats (found here and here, or in Feats of an Adult Nature): Gay, Gaydar, Ghey, Great Cleavage, Metrosexual, Sexual Prowess, Staying Power. You may choose this talent multiple times.
   Prerequisite: Flamboyantly Heterosexual
   Boozehound: You gain a talent from the Boozehound Talent Tree. This talent may be selected multiple times.
   Prerequisite: Boys' Club
   Angry White Male: Whenever you fail a skill check, saving throw, or attack roll, you may activate the Angry White Male talent on the following round. You can a +2 bonus to melee attack rolls, and to Fortitude and Willpower saving throws, but your Defense Rating/Armor Class is subject to a -4 penalty. These effects remain active until the encounter is over, your hit points drop below 25% of their maximum total, or for a number of rounds equal to 20 less your Wisdom bonus.
   Prerequisite: Privileged

   Did you find this talent tree amusing or useful? Check out NUELOW Games' d20 System products at RPGNow. Support us with a few coins and bring uniqueness to your games!

The LEAST popular clip art packs from NUELOW Games

We take some pride in everything we release, so when something doesn't do well, we hope it's because you out there just didn't notice. Today, the spotlight is on the LEAST successful art packs released as part of our NUELOW Stock Art Collection.


First up, there is NUELOW Stock Art Collection #13: The First Americans. This is the first set that the creator of ROLF!, L.L. Hundal, edited for us. It features art by the same contributors you'll find in our sci-fi themed packs like Rockets & Rayguns. However, it didn't do as well... maybe clipart featuring Native Americans is too narrow a niche to have a market or audience?

Then, there is NUELOW Stock Art Collection: The Werewolf by Pablo Marcos. This small collection of werewolf action shots also under-performed. Was it because we released it at Christmas time when people were thinking of elves and sugar plums? Are werewolves like Native Americans in the sense that the set is targeted at too narrow a niche? Whatever the reason, we think that's a shame, because we love Pablo Marcos's art, and we think it would look great in projects out there.

Does anyone out there have an opinion on NUELOW Games's art collections? Do you want to make a comment? We'd love to hear from you--and that goes double if you have a theory regarding the lack of love for NUELOW Stock Art Collection #13: The First Americans and NUELOW Stock Art Collection: The Werewolf by Pablo Marcos.

We've just released our first D&D Fifth Edition supplement!

NUELOW Games is jumping in the Fifth Edition OGL pool ... and our first release is Monster, Monster: Werewolves, with D&D Fifth Edition game stats by Andrew Pavlides and a great werewolf comic from Augustine Funnel & Pablo Marcos.

We hope this will be the first of many releases with 5E material--under the Monster, Monster and/or the 5E Creature Catalogue banner--, so we hope you'll check out this first offering and give us some feedback. (Or just check it out... because nothing speaks louder than sales figures! :) )

Click here to get Monster, Monster: Werewolves from RPGNow. (It is also on sale at DriveThruRPG and DriveThruComics.

Democratic U.S. Presidential Candidates ala ROLF!

Although the party and the cable channels would like the world to think there's only one person running for the nomination to be the Democratic candidate for president in this year's election, there are actually three major contenders. We at NUELOW Games have been as guilty as everyone else at only shining the spotlight on Hillary Clinton (with a celebration of her birthday, and featuring her as a playable character in two different Battle Scenarios), but we here-by make amends by providing ROLF! statistics for Bernie Sanders and Martin O'Malley--the two campaigners that few people know about. (Why do few people know about them? Because the Democratic National Committee had sponsored few debates and they've always scheduled them in such a way to make sure that virtually no one is going to watch them.)

We hope you enjoy this public service in the interest of avoiding the Coronation of Hillary that she and the party are seeking. (You can also use these statistics to play through a match-up of the candidates and make your own predictions about who might win in the general election. The ROLF! stats for two of the Republican hopefuls can be found here.)

Bernie Sanders & Martin O'Malley: The guys Hillary Clinton wants you to ignore

BERNIE SANDERS (Male)
Brawn 11, Body 10, Brains 5
   Traits: Limousine Liberal*, Weird Hair
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Debate Philosophy, Dodge, Kung Fu Face*, Signature Move*
   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Rumpled Suit and Nice Tie (Clothes), The Complete Works of Karl Marx (Melee Weapon, deals 2 points of damage OR One-Shot Ranged Weapon, deals 1 point of damage).

MARTIN O'MALLEY (Male)
Brawn 13, Body 14, Brains 4
   Traits: Holier Than Thou*, Improv Master*
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Debate Philosophy, Dodge, Double Strike
   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Expensive Suit and Tie (Clothes).


*The Traits and Combat Maneuvers can be found in Relentlessly Gay (for ROLF! and d20 System).


NEW TRAITS
This all-new Trait is appearing here on the blog for the very first time anywhere.
   Weird Hair: The character gains a +1 modifier to all ATT Body-based checks, and a -1 modifier to all ATT Brains-based checks.

For the record, NUELOW Games's first sale of 2016...

... was the oh-so-classy evergreen product Modern Basics: Feats of an Adult Nature.

Warning! This Contains Adult Mature Content (and stuff)!

If you haven't gotten your copy yet, now might be a great time. Wouldn't it be cool to see that classic OGL d20 Modern supplement back on the "Hot Seller" list?!

Click here to get your copy at DriveThruRPG! You can also get it at RPGNow if you prefer!