Thursday, December 4, 2014

More Gamergate Nonsense

Game designer and blogger James Desborough has published #Gamergate: The Card Game through PostMortem Studios. The sell-copy for the game describes it as "by taking the piss out of all sides," something which we delight in here at NUELOW Games. So, that's a plus in James's favor in our book.

Cover art for #Gamergate: The Card Game
A minus against him is the fact it's a game making fun of #Gamergate. I have been disgusted by the various factions in that particular fight for a long time, and Hundal has been bored by them. The only thing #Gamergate confirmed for me is that I am not a gamer (even though I minstakenly identified myself as one for over two decades) and it confirmed for Hundal that she was right to never attend a game convention. The game would have gone completely unnoticed by me and most other people if one of the crusading anti-Gamergate Factions hadn't decided to convince distributor Onebookshelf to drop the game, and other crusaders hadn't decided to beat their chests about how they "stand behind the decision."

NUELOW Games is exclusively distributed by Onebookshelf via their RPGNowDriveThruComicsDriveThruFictionDriveThruRPG, and WarGameVault sites. If we ever add a card game to our line-up, we will undoubtedly sell it at DriveThruCards. I have nothing but nice things to say about Onebookshelf, despite the fact that there's no specific category for ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game on their sites. I also believe that they, as a distributor, have the right to carry or not carry whatever products they like. However, NUELOW Games has published (and continues to publish) products that rely on satire, sarcasm, and commentary on current events in politics and popular culture. It is concerning to me that zealots of any stripe can convince a distributor to drop a satirical product because they demand it to be so. If the sell-copy for Desborough's game is accurate, it doesn't sound that different than NUELOW's "Bill Clinton and the Secret City of Women," "The Pimp, the Protester, and the Po-Po" or "Mr. Freedom vs. Blowhard."

There but for the grace of God goes ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game?

I know nothing about Gamergate: The Card Game beyond the cover art and the sell-copy. I am not likely to learn anything more about it, because Gamergate draws fucktards like a corpse draws flies and I want nothing to do with it. But if you're interested in checking out James' game, you can buy it through this website. (You can also read more about it there.)

For even more information, visit his blog here. 

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Possibly the greatest song ever written! (And some RPG rules)

The band is Alestorm. The song is "Drink."


We live each day like there's nothing to lose,
But a man has needs and that need is booze.
They say all the best things in life are free.
So give all your beer and your rum to me!

We are here to drink your beer 
And steal your rum at a point of a gun 
Your alcohol to us will fall
'Cause we are here to drink your beer!


d20 OGL BOOZING RULES
Here's are some quick and dirty rules for using alcohol in your d20 OGL Modern games. Like everything in RPGs, this is an effort to model fantasy, not reality. You should always drink responsibly, alcohol is addictive and shouldn't be treated lightly... and so on, and so forth, blah-blah-blah.
  All text in this post from this point forward is presented under the Open Game License.

Drinking and Getting Drunk
During one hour, a character may consume a number of alcoholic beverages equal to 1/3rd his or her Constitution score. For each drink after that requires a requires a Constitution check (DC 12 + 2 per additional drink) with any racial  or other bonus against poison modifying the roll. Each failed check means 1 temporary damage to your Dexterity and Wisdom scores, and a -1 penalty to your Constitution for the purpose of resisting the effects of further drinks. If your Wisdom or Constitution scores are reduced to 0, you pass out.
   For each failed check, you also suffer a -1 penalty to all melee attack rolls.
   Once the character fails his or her first Constitution check, he or she is considered to be "under the influence." This state persists until all damage to ability scores has been regained. (Note that alcohol is a poison, so spells that neutralize poison can end the effects of alcohol early and restore lost attribute points more quickly.)
   Damage to ability scores from alcohol is recovered at the rate of 2 per hour during which the character doesn't drink any alcoholic beverages, or after "sleeping it off." The penalty to attack rolls is reduced at a rate of +2 each hour..
   Upon waking up after getting drunk enough to have his or her attribute scores drop below their full values, the character make a successful Fort save (DC18) modified by any racial or other bonus against poison). If the saving throw fails, the character suffers a -2 penalty to all attack rolls and skill checks for 1d3+1 hours.


BOOZEHOUND TALENT TREE
This talent tree is for hard-drinking characters of any class.
   Drink Like a Fish: For each drink after the prescribed maximum (see Drinking and Getting Drunk), the character rolls a Fort save (DC12 +1 per additional drink) instead of the Constitution check.
  Hold Your Liquor: You can consume a number of alcoholic beverages equal to 1/2 your Constitution score before you need to start rolling checks (instead of the usual amount equal to 1/3rd of your Constitution score).
   Mean Drunk: When under the influence (See Drinking and Getting Drunk), you hit even harder than you do when you’re sober. You gain +1d6 bonus to damage inflicted with melee and thrown weapons.
   You may select this talent more than once. Each time it is chosen the damage bonus is increased by 1d6, to a maximum of +5d6.
   Prerequisite: Any one Boozehound Talent
   Drunken Master: Instead of  suffering a -1 penalty for each failed attribute check or saving throw to resist the influence of alcohol, you gain a +1 bonus to melee attack rolls.
      Prerequisite: Any one Boozehound Talent

Alestorm: Heavy Metal Pirates & Boozehounds


Friday, November 28, 2014

Two magic items for any roleplaying game

'Tis the season for leftovers. Here's a magic item inspired by a stray comment following a wonderful holiday dinner with friends.


BAG OF MEAT
 This small leather bag cinches shut with a narrow strip of rawhide. When opened, the user can pull out enough roasted meat to feed one person three times per day, or four people once per day. The type of meat is determined randomly by rolling a d6,

Die Roll        Type of Meat
1.                   Beef
2.                   Chicken
3.                   Turkey
4.                   Pork
5.                   Salmon
 6.                  Shark


DELUXE BAG OF MEAT
This item functions as a Bag of Meat, except it has a broader selection. Roll 2d6 to determine the kind of meat supplied.

Dice Roll        Type of Meat
2.                    Partridge
3.                    Venison
4.                    Spam
5.                    Beef
6.                    Pork
7.                    Chicken
8.                   Turkey
9.                   Sausage
10.                 Salmon
11.                 Shark
12.                 Cod

A selection from a Bag of Meat

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Cheaper by the bundle!

Our jungle adventure-themed releases have been among our most popular offerings. You can now get the complete selections of NUELOW Judy of the Jungle and Princess Pantha in easy one-click-to-purchase downloads, as well save yourself a little money. Between these bundles, you get some of the best jungle girl comics ever published with artwork by such great talents as Ralph Mayo, Art Saaf, and Alex Schomburg.

The Complete NUELOW Judy of the Jungle Bundle contains all three Judy of the Jungle books, as well as the 2013 ROLF! Christmas Special that introduced her to the NUELOW line-up. In addition to great comics, these books include meaty game material, such as new OGL Modern starting professions and talent trees geared for jungle-dwelling heroes, a jungle adventure/encounter generator, and game statistics for Judy and her friends and foes for OGL d20 Modern, ROLF!, and Lester Smith's CORE Roleplaying Game. As an extra special treat, these books also include three adventures of South Sea Girl drawn by the legendary "good girl" artists Matt Baker. The collection is 10% than the cost of buying the books individually. Click here for more details.

By Alex Schomburg
The Princess Pantha Collection Bundle contains both books starring the circus performer-turned-globetrotting-jungle-girl-adventurer, as well as a collection of illustrations of Judy and Pantha by Schomburg, Mayo, and Saaf that are released under a royalty free license that permits you to use them in any project you like, personal or commercial. On the game front, the set includes OGL d20 Modern presents new talent trees and starting professions geared for creating characters with Pantha's knack for showmanship, animal training, and jungle skills, as well as a complete supplement for ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game. This bundle is a full 30% off the cost of buying each book separately, which means you are essentially getting the art collection for free. Click here for more details.

By Alex Schomburg

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Official Theme song for
'Complete Golden Age Oddballs: Kismet & Penny Parker'

The official theme song for Complete Golden Age Oddballs: Kismet & Penny Parker: "Walk Like an Egyptian" as performed by The Puppini Sisters.



Complete Golden Age Oddballs: Kismet & Penny Parker collects for the first time anywhere all the published stories featuring two obscure Golden Age characters and then unites them in a shared universe. Kismet was the very first Muslim superhero (who may or may not have been from Egypt), and in plot devised by Miller that unites them, Penny Parker ends up teaming with Kismet and traveling through the Middle East for several years.

The swing-flavored cover of "Walk Like an Egyptian" is just weird enough to be the perfect theme for the book. Grab a copy and listen to the song as you start reading. Click here for more information about this book of never-before-collected comics.

Available from DriveThruComics!

Friday, November 21, 2014

New Stock Art Collection -- Jungle Girls!

We bring you another selection of material from the NUELOW Games archive. This time, it's artwork featuring Judy of the Jungle and Princess Pantha by those who drew them best -- Alex Schomburg, Ralph Mayo, and Art Saaf.

Art by Alex Schomburg
NUELOW Stock Art Collection #6: Jungle Girls features some 20 drawings--some presented in both color and black-and-white--adapted from the original comics sources. The versions here are derivative works that are being released under a license that contains few restrictions, so you can use them in any project you choose.

The drawings are included in a PDF index and as individual jpgs in a zip archive, which are provided along with the license when you purchase and download the set. The art files are mostly in 72dpi jpgs (fit for use on websites and in e-books), but there are also some that are included in 300dpi resolution (which are suitable for use in print).

Click here to see previews of NUELOW Stock Art Collection #6: Jungle Girls, or to get your own copy of this collection of portraits of women of action in action!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

ROLF!: Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie

In one of our upcoming releases,we're returning to our old wicked ways of using celebrities in ROLF! products with wild abandon. In addition to Chuck Norris returning for another battle, we're going to be misusing Brad Pitt.

The following ROLF! stats were created for tonight's playtest. I'm including Angelina Jolie here as well, just because. (She will not be appearing in the upcoming product, but who can say what the future will bring?)


ANGELINA JOLIE (Female)
Brawn 13, Body 15, Brains 6
Traits: Irrepressible Optimist, Nimble, Improv Master
Combat Maneuvers: Backflip, Basic Attack, Castrate, Debate Philosophy, Disarm, Strike Pose


BRAD PITT (Male)
Brawn 14, Body 16, Brains 4
Traits: Nimble, Improv Master, Too Sexy for My Shirt
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Dodge, Murderous Mitts, Strike Pose



And if anyone wants to have Angelina and Jennifer fight for Brad, there are stats for Jennifer Aniston in ROLF!: Jennifer vs. the Leprechaun.