Is it a sign the global economy is strengthening?

This spam comment showed up on the "waiting for approval" list today here at the NUELOW Games blog:

Unravel the history regarding rubber production over Kerala on rubberized plantation tours. Kinds of exotic plantations allow for an fantastic retreat in Kerala. Stop by my page :: imprezy integracyjne

While I'm sure a tour of rubberized plantations of Kerala are absolutely fascinating--even more so if one visits them as part of a trip conducted by a Polish company--I don't see what that has to do with "Sinbad and the Seven Golden Skeletons" or ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters.

When even spammers can't find good help, it probably means the global economy is picking up. I say everyone should celebrate by buying some NUELOW Games products!

(In all seriousness, I think someone just doesn't know how to properly filter an image-based search result.)

All this, however, gives me a perfect excuse to dust off a couple old-time NUELOW OGL d20 feats and bring them into the 21st century with some minor revisions. The rest of this post (save the illo) is Open Gaming Content published under this license.

Craptacular [General, Dedicated Hero, Hardcore Activist] (By Steve Miller & Dave Mendez)
The character is of mediocre, or even limited, talent and skill in his or her chosen field, but excels at self-promotion and convincing others how great he or she is. Sometimes, fans and fellow professionals can't see through the ruse, but mostly the end result reveals the person's true colors.
   Prerequisite: 3 ranks in Bluff
   Benefit: The character receives a +4 bonus to all Bluff nd Diplomacy checks.
   Special: The character suffers a -1 penalty to all class skill checks, and a -2 penalty to all cross-class skill checks. These penalties do not apply to Bluff and Diplomacy checks.

Spammer [General] (By Steve Miller)
This feat allows you to vomit forth off-topic drivel to the first 100,000 blogs and forums you can think of, or a search engine can find. 

   Prerequisite: You must be a moron; Maximum INT 6, Maximum WIS 8.
   Benefit: The character receives +4 to Computer Use skill checks. He or she is also able to win over huge amounts of business from any blog or forum who willingly accepts the posts with open arms--especially if the character can't spell and has the grammatical powers of a chipmunk.

This Just In: Kate Moss Poses Nude!

A recent headline that came across my news-feed read "Kate Moss Poses Nude!" (The article was a blurb about an article about a photo-spread for a suntan product she uses and models for, which you can read here.)

My first thought was "That's note-worthy? Is it the first time this year or something?"--because it seems that Moss has a habit of posing in less rather than more clothing... and her posing nude isn't exactly something she has done before, many times.

My second thought was "Kate Moss Poses Nude" would be great title for another ROLF! match-up of Bill Clinton and Anthony Weiner."

Ultimately, we decided that we didn't have quite strong enough a hook for a product... but there may be a sequel to "ROLF!: Supermodel Slapfest" percolating. In the meantime, here are stats for Kate Moss if you want to cook up a Battle Scenario of some sort featuring her. (And if you do, please send it to us. :) )

Kate Moss (Female)
Brawn 13, Body 15, Brain 7
  Traits: Improv Master, Nimble, So Very British
  Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Dodge, Double Strike, Seduce, Strike Pose, The Walk, Withering Insult
  Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Nothing of note, as birthday suits don't have pockets.

A new mini RPG -- You vs. Me!

The latest release from NUELOW Games is You vs. Me. In this stand-alone game designed for two players, you and a friend make characters based on each other, swap them, and then do battle.

It's a quirky game that shares its core system with NUELOW Games's flagship ROLF! game, and it's a great way to pass the time with a close friend between convention games or during a regular game session where you're left at the table while the GM is away with another player for a Serious and Secret Roleplaying Encounter. Characters can be made in five or minutes... and fights usually don't take much longer.

L.L. Hundal posted slightly expanded design notes for the game as part of the "A to Z April Blogging Challenge" last month, filling the requirement for the letter Y. This final version was designed by Steve Miller & L.L. Hundal, co-creators of ROLF! and the lunatics behind NUELOW Games. Miller is a long-time veteran of the game industry whose credits include work for Wizards of the Coast, White Wolf, West End Games, TSR, and others. Hundal has always been smart enough to hold down a real job and just do games for fun and otherwise leads life as a Woman of International Mystery.

You vs. Me is a self-contained mini RPG that includes everything you need to play except for a couple of pencils, four six-sided dice, and a friend. It is available for download from RPGNow for a mere $1.50.

Sinbad and the Seven Golden Skeletons: A ROLF! Battle Scenario

I was saddened to hear about Ray Harryhausen's passing today. Many of the movies he produced and/or did stop-action animation for are ranked among my favorite films ever. It's not much a tribute to his great work, but here is a little ROLF! Battle Scenario that 'borrows" the famous Harryhausen skeletons (which I so loved in "The 7th Voyage of Sinbad" and "Jason and the Argonauts"), Sinbad and Margiana from "The Golden Voyage of Sinbad" (portrayed by John Philip Law and Caroline Munro, who probably jump-puberty for a number of people reading this, or that of their parents).

You will need a copy of ROLF!: Old Skool or ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game to play this scenario (as well as a friend). A copy of the free Something About Hats might also be useful, as would The Mummy's Tune supplement.

SINBAD AND THE SEVEN GOLDEN SKELETONS

A ROLF! Battle Scenario for 2 - 3 Players

By Steve Miller

Getting Ready to Play

If two gamers are playig this battle scenario, then one controls Sinbad and Margianna and the other the skeletons. If three gamers are playing, then one gamer each controls Sidbad, Margianna, and the skeletons.

   Another option for a two-player game could be to remove Margianna from play and reduce the number of skeletons to four.

Background

On a beautiful Wednesday afternoon, sometime early in the 8th century A.D., the pirate captain Sinbad and his lovely sidekick Margianna make landfall on a lush island. They are here to check out a cave containing a legendary treasure hoard, and to then have a nice a picnic lunch.

They easily locate the cave... and the treasure within seems likewise easy to access, as it's just scattered about the cave floor or overflowing open chests. The partially decayed, dismembered corpses scattered about are sure evidence that this treasure is indeed not as easily accessible as it seems.

The adventurers move warily forward, but as they do, seven gold-coated skeletons that seemed to be no more than macabre wall decorations, come to life. The gold coating flakes from their bones as they move jerkily toward Sinbad and Margiana.

The Battle

There are a total of seven skeletons--hence the title of the scenario. In the first round, two skeletons attack Sinbad and one attacks Margianna. When the first skeleton on each of the heroes is defeated, two more rush forward to take its place. The fight continues until all the skeletons or Sinbad and Margianna are defeated.

Pre-Generated Characters

Here are the characters featured in "Sinbad and the Seven Golden Skeletons."

Skeletons (Undead)

Brawn 12, Body 3, Brains 3

Traits: Dead

Combat Maneuvers: Bitch Slap, Disarm, Double Strike

Important Stuff Word/Wielded: Sword (Medium Melee Weapon. Deals 3 points of damage).

Sinbad the Sailor (Male)

Brawn 27 (includes +1 Hat Bonus), Body 17, Brains 7

Traits: Honorable, Nimble, Too Sexy for My Shirt

Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disarm, Dodge, Disembowel, Double Strike, Murderous Mitts, Strike Pose

Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Turban (Hat. +1 to Brawn while worn). Sword (Medium Melee Weapon,deals 3 points of damage,

Margiana (Female)

Brawn 22, Body 18, Brains 6

Traits: Improv Master, Nimble

Comb:at Maneuvers Basic Attack, Dance Move, Dodge, Seduce, Strike Pose, The Look

Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Kris Dagger (Small Melee Weapon, deals 2 points of damage).

It's a one-day only sale at NUELOW Games!

The entire NUELOW Games line-up is on sale for 33-44 percent off! Through 23:59 Pacific Time on May 7 only! Click here!

In celebration of my birthday (today, May 7), all NUELOW Games products are 33 to 44 percent off their usual price! (A few of the fiction anthologies are discounted less steeply than everything else.)

If you've ever been curious about ROLF! or one of our Robert E. Howard e-books, now is a great chance to check them out at even lower than our usually low prices!

Treat yourself, and give me the gift the of royalties as you do so! And let me know what you think of the products you get!

Z is for Zenobia

And we finish A to Z April BARELY under the wire, with moments to spare, here on the West Coast of the United States! We ran behind for the second half of the month, but we made it! It's not much of a triumph, but one must take victories where one can find them.

Here at the end, we present a character for use in ROLF! games, either set in ancient times or using John Kendirck Bangs' Houseboat on the River Styx setting.It's the ROLF! version of Zenobia, one of L.L. Hundal's favorite historical figures. She's been bugging me to put her in an Battle Scenario, to which I've always responded, "do it yourself."

Now that Zenobia has stats, maybe Ms. Hundal will be inspired. Perhaps she could even bring back another of her favorite historical figures, Amelia Earhart, had have them team up to do battle against evil.

Zenobia (Female)
Brawn 28 (includes +1 Hat bonus), Body 16, Brains 8
   Traits: Busty, Nimble
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Castrate, Disarm, Debate Philosophy, Disembowel, Dodge, Seduce, Strike Pose
   Important Items Worn/Wielded: Egyptian-style Bikini Armor (barely covers nakedness, absorbs 2 points of damage). Imperial Crown (Hat, gives +1 Brawn bonus when worn). Sword (Medium Melee Weapon, deals 3 points of damage).

Or if one of you out there has a great idea for a Battle Scenario featuring Zenobia, feel free to share it with us. We may put it in a product and you will be able to say that you're a published game designer!

Y is for You vs. Me: The Rollplaying Game

As the second-to-last post in the A to Z Blogging Challenge, we represent a ROLF! variant by L.L. Hundal.

YOU vs. ME: A ROLLPLAYING GAME POWERED BY ROLF!

Designed by L.L. Hundal * Edited by Steve Miller

Copyright Steve Miller 2013. All Rights Reserved.

About This Game

You vs. Me is a quick-playing game for two players. They each make a character based on the other player, trade them with each other, and then have the characters beat each other up until one is dead. If you have a friend you don't mind losing, try playing this game with them when you have nothing better to do.

What You Need to Play

You need a friend, four six-sided dice, two sheets of paper, and something to write with. At the very least, you  will also need a copy of ROLF!: Old Skool (which can be downloaded free of charge by clicking here). 

How to Play

First you create characters, then you trade the characters with each other, and then you fight the characters. Just like I mentioned above. 

Create Characters

Consider the friend sitting across the table from you. Then consider what he or she would be like as a ROLF! character. Then start creating.

   Each character has three Attributes, like any other ROLF! character--Brawn, Body, and Brains. The basic function of these Attributes are described in the ROLF! rules, but they are generated differently in the You vs. Me variant.

   1. Assign Attribute  Ratings: Rate your friend's Brawn score between 6 and 30; the Body score between 4 and 20, and the Brains between 2 and 10. You do not need to maximize the Attribute. Unspent points are not used for anything but instead go the way of a European or African country's national debt--they just vanish.

   2. Pick Traits: Characters have a number of Traits equal to half their Brains Attribute score. Traits are listed in the ROLF! rule books and supplements; you may use any Trait that has been introduced into the game or you can create new ones. If you create new Traits, make sure you send it to us, so we have something to post on the blog. Remember that you are picking Traits that you think your friend possesses.

   3. Pick Battle Maneuvers. Battle Maneuvers  are listed in the ROLF! rule books and supplements; you may use any Battle Maneuver that has been introduced into the game. You can also make up new ones if you don't think any that exist accurately capture the talents of your friend if he or she were to become a violent brute, but keep in mind that the existing Battle Maneuvers were created by professional game designers and carefully play-tested and balanced against the rest of the ROLF! game. If you're not careful, you may unbalance the intricate--oh, who am I kidding? Just make up Battle Maneuvers that you think are fun, funny, or capture the essence of your friend--that's what I do. And, sure, I play-test.... most of the time.. Designing for ROLF! isn't rocket-science... but you do have to be mindful of the dice mechanics and how modifiers work in the system.

   4. Create Equipment: Each character has two items that can be used as weapons, You should pick things you associate with your friend. One item deals 2 points of damage and the other deals 4 points of damage.Both are melee weapons. There are no ranged weapons in You vs. Me.

Trade Characters

Pass the character you've created to your friend and let him or her absorb the impression you have of them while you do the same with the character your friend created based on their perception of you. Consult the ROLF! rules if there are Traits and Battle Maneuvers you are not familiar with.. or make your friend explain them to you.

Fight

By "fight" I mean the characters fight. If you or your friend are offended by the character that was created, one or both of you need to get over yourselves and realize that this is all for fun... or maybe consider making some changes in your lives. That might mean getting other friends, although more likely it means doing a little soul-searching and self-evaluating to understand why your friend views your the way he or she does.

   The fights in You vs. Me continue until one character is defeated. Combat and damage work just like they do in the standard ROLF! game. Each player has their own pair of six-sided dice to roll Attribute Checks and Combat Maneuvers with.

Afterword

The idea for You vs. Me has its genesis in Steve Miller and I making each other as ROLF! characters for Apocalypse Not (The Final Final Battle), together with a bizarre little Battle Scenario. We both agreed that we captured one another quite well, and there were no hurt feelings. Then again, we are both comfortable with the fact that we are dorky jerks.

   The rules here were play-tested with my long-suffering girlfriend. We are still living together.

   I hope you have fun with this ROLF! variant. Please send us any new Traits or Battle Maneuvers you may come up with. We need content for the blog.