Sunday, April 1, 2018

Who Killed the Easter Bunny?

The kick-off for the annual Easter Egg Hunt was delayed when celebrity Easter Bunny J.J. Arrutza didn't show. He was soon discovered dead. But who killed him and why? That's up to the player characters to discover when you put them through the adventure you create from this randomly generated outline!

Roll 1d8 against each of the following tables to randomly generate the bones of a muder mystery!

1. In the mulberry bushes.
2. Behind the garage.
3. In the garage.
4. Behind the strip club.
5. In the strip club.
6. At home, in his bedroom.
7. At home, in his bathroom.
8. In a seedy motel room.

1. Stabbed.
2. Electrocuted.
3. Multiple blows to the head.
4. Beaten to death.
5. Strangled.
6. Drowned.
7. Suffocated with Peeps.
8. Shot 1d8 times.

WHO KILLED HIM? (This is also a list of suspects.)
1. The Mall Santa.
2. The Playboy Bunny.
3. The Surly Teenager.
4. His Lover. (Roll an additional 1d8. 1-4 it’s his ex-lover.)
5. His Wife
6. The Christian Fanatic.
7. The Animal Rights Activist.
8. The Zoology Professor..

1. So he couldn’t reveal a dark secret to the world. (Roll on WHAT IS THE DARK SECRET? table.)
2. For sullying the true meaning of Easter.
3. Jealousy.
4. Revenge.
6. Hatred.
7. As a blood sacrifice to the goddesss Ishtar.
8. Roll again on this table. Both reasons apply for why he was killed. Ignore repeated results.

1. Cadbury Eggs are filled with an alien substance designed to make humanity more pliable to mind control by alien invaders.
2. A cabal of Furries is working to prevent the Rapture.
3. A cabal of Mall Santas are planning to perform a massive, coordinated terrorist strike this Christmas.
4. His Wife is possessed by the spirit of the True Easter Bunny, and she will murder and eat three children this Easter.
5. He was working on a tell-all book that would reveal many, MANY dark secrets of Mall Santas, Easter Bunnies, and costumed sports mascots around the world.
6. The 1-2 Playboy Bunny, 3-4 Christian Fanatatic, 5-6 Animal Rights Activist, 7-8 Zoology Professor. is a Russian assassin, and his or her secret had to be protected.
7. Roll again on the WHO KILLED HIM? table. His death was supposed to be fake and the indicated person was to have been framed for his murder, but the killer took advantage of the plan and made the murder real.
8. He was the member of a Satanic cult, and every year, one cursed Easter egg would cause the child who found it to die (months or weeks later, seemingly by accident) and their soul to be devoured by Satan himself.

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