Weiner bigger than ever!

Here we thought that ROLF! Rise of the Trouser Snakes 2: Whacking Weiner was as dated as current-events based products like ROLF!: Mister Freedom vs. Blowhard and  ROLF!: The Breast Hope for Peace.

But Anthony Weiner just keeps popping back up. There's a HuffPo headline today that reads "Weiner Won't to Pull Out." We were sure that Weiner was done with his mayoral run when he got up in front of cameras and tried to blame his wife for his weird to expose himself online. Maybe there's enough staying-power here to warrant a third ROLF! product featuring good old Anthony Weiner.

Maybe we should do "Anthony Weiner, Private Dick" (the tale of Weiner seeking the "hacker" who posted pictures of Little Weiner on the net)?  Or maybe "Sexting. Wives, and Duct Tape" (about the night Huma and Hillary took revenge on Bill and Anthony)? Or maybe a team-up between Bill Cinton?

Meanwhile, if you like, you can check out the adventures of Anthony Weiner already published in ROLF!: Bill Clinton and the Secret City of Women and ROLF!: Rise of the Trouser Snakes 2.

   

Click here to read more.

Click here to read more.

NUELOW Games & Jeff Grubb's "Dyvil" gets noticed!

Here's a very nice article about RPGs as reading material as well as rule books. It's well-written... and it actually reflects the approach we take to most of the products we produce here at NUELOW Games. We try to maximize the entertainment value of our games, so we try to make them fun to read as well as play.

It's no surprise, though, that the author of A Dicey Affair: Reading the Roleplaying Game Nicholas William Moll seized selected Jeff Grubb's Dyvil as his example of a minimalist roleplaying game. Jeff writes circles around Steve Miller and L.L Hundal on even their best days.

Click here to read Moll's article on the "Read Watch Play" blog.

And when you're done, click here to learn more about Dyvil, or to perhaps even buy a copy... a fun game and an excellent read.

Use our stock art package, get a link!

One thing that we've been forgetting to mention is that if you purchase any of our stock art packages (of which there is only one, but more will be coming) and let us know about any website or product you use one or more illos for, we will plug your effort here, on Facebook, and via our Twitter feed.

Just email or PM the link to us. Once we've checked out what you've made, we'll give you a plug, as a thank-you for being a customer!

(Click here to check NUELOW Stock Art Collection #1: The Original Black Cat in Action. It's 25 percent off through 7/28/2013.)

Merry Christmas in July!

!L.L. Hundal loves Christmas, so it comes twice a year here at NUELOW Games -- December 24 and July 24. We also release at least two Christmas products as a result.

This year's July Christmas release, ROLF! Christmas Special III, introduces the Inventor trait to the game, as well as bringing Jill Trent and Daisy Smythe, the Science Sleuths, to the NUELOW line-up of Heroes and Villaiuns. (It also offers six pre-generated characters, two battle scenarios, and numerous combat maneuvers and traits not featured in the core ROLF! rule book.)

Oh yeah... and in our continuing quest to be recognized as the publisher of edgy and games of ultimate inclusiveness, we've got a pair of characters with the Same Sex Preference trait, who are in a relationship! Can we get some critical recognition and praise already?!

Like all other items in our catalog, ROLF! Christmas Special III is currently available at 25 percent off. This special price lasts through July 28. Click here to see our full listing of offerings.

NUELOW Heroes and Villains: Professor Eatery

Here's another character created by Carter-Ethan Rankin and released into the public domain. The character and the art below is public domain, but the text is released under the Open Game License, and maybe reproduced according to the terms described in it. Copyright 2013 Steve Miller.

Professor Eatery (aka Del. I. Catessan)

PROFESSOR EATERY (Male)

(aka Delbert Ignacius Catessan)

Brawn 28, Body 13, Brains 6

   Traits: Coldhearted, Super Power (Super Strength), Unstoppable

   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disembowel, Dodge, Knock-Out, Murderous Mitts, Withering Insult

   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded:  Super Outfit (Armor, absorbs up to 2 points of damage). Razor Spatula (Small Melee Weapon, deals 2 points of damage).

Origin Story

The man who became Professor Eatery was once the humble operator of an upscale restaurant that only served dishes prepared from all natural ingredients who also taught cooking classes at the local community center and wrote food reviews for alternative newspapers around the state. 

   He would habitually write negative reviews of the Happy Thai Burger chain, faulting them not only for making awful fast-food fusion cuisine but for their GMO- and preservative-heavy menus. Unfortunately for Delbert, the local mafia Don loved Happy Thai Burger, had invested money in the chain, and decided he needed to taught a lesson.

   Mobsters burned down Del's restaurant and took him to a remove location where they force-fed him Happy Thai menu items until he could keep no ore food down. Then they buried him under half a ton of genetically modified tomatoes.

   What should have killed Del made him stronger. The shock to his system when he was suddenly force fed all those chemical-heavy food items gave him super-strength and endurance. It also drove him mad, so after taking his revenge on the mobsters who destroyed his life, he continued to stalk and kill anyone who runs and eating establishment or hosts a TV cooking show who doesn't live up to his culinary standards. He prepares a final meal for them, and, once they are done eating, kills them.

Superpowers

Professor Eatery has super strength and is resistant to injury.

Allies and Enemies

Professor Eatery is a lone wolf who is wanted for murder all around the world. Since he views himself as a hero it is unlikely that he would ever team up with one of them. It has been rumored that Weight Watchers would like to approach him about an endorsement deal and that at one time, Michelle Obama was trying to convince her husband to pardon him for all past crimes and create a cabinet-level position to oversee proper nutrition among Americans.

Coming soon... "Film Fun Comics Vol. 3: British Agent 99"

One of the projects making its way through production at NUELOW Central is the third installment in the Film Fun Comics series. While Black Cat is featured in every volume of the series, she is the "guest star" in the odd-numbered books, so in Film Fun Comics Vol. 3, she plays a supporting role to star Alan Douglas aka British Agent 99.

The book will feature five comics stories from the WW2 era--the four British Agent 99 stories that appeared in Pocket Comics--including the one co-starring Black Cat--and a Black Cat tale from Speed Comics. All five comics stories are interesting from a historical perspective, because they feature as their backdrop real-world events that were very much current when they were published. Also featured is fiction by Steve Miller that details the first "team-up" of Alan Douglas and Linda "Black Cat" Turner, as well as the first mystery solved by Linda, even before she put on the mask and boots for the first time.

The book is slated for release next Tuesday. I hope you'll check it out. In the meantime, here's what will be on the cover:

A straight-up, traditional ROLF! supplement!

The string of comics with game supplements included may have caused you to suspect we'd forgotten about pure game products... not so! And by way of proof, we offier ROLF!: Revenge of the Nigerian Prince!

This little item contains five pre-generated characters, some traits and combat maneuvers not found in the ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighthers core rulebook, three linked battle scenarios to use them with -- and, as always, a rediculously low price!

Click here to see previews or do get your own copy. If you only buy one ROLF! product this month you should make it this one. It's Andrew Pavlides's first contribution to the NUELOW Games line-up, and it would make him (and me) happy if it sold really well!.

Write Black Cat stories and use classic art to illustrate them!

Do you want to be writer? Do you want to put your story out there for people to read? Sure you do!

 With NUELOW Games Stock Art Collection #1: The Original Black Cat in Action, you can draw inspiration from art by Lee Elias and you can write stories accordingly. And when you're done, you can post them online, fully illustrated with artwork that you have license to use. Pictures draw people's attention, so they will be more likely to read your story.

If you're just looking for some art to use in hour home projects, such as hand-outs for players at your weekly table-top RPG session, you might find the headshots by Karl M. useful,

Whatever your reason for getting this set, it is almost certain to fill any need you may have for illustrations of a girl wearing a swimsuit and pirate boots while beating up bad guys. (And just to show we're not complete sexist pigs here at NUELOW Games, this collection also includes the cover illo from ROLF!: Bathtime on Bear Creek.)

NUELOW Games Stock Art Collection #1: The Original Black Cat features 28 line drawings (with four presented in both black-and-white and color, for a total of 32 images) that are being made available under a simple, royalty-free license. Once you buy this set, the art is yours to use as you will with a few simple restrictions. To make the set easy to use, the download includes a pdf format booklet that indexes all the images and a zip archive with separate jpg files for each one. (The booklet also contains Black Cat trivia for the true hardcore fans--of which there is probably only one, and his name is Steve Miller.)

Oh... and if you do write some Black Cat fiction, we might want to publish it in a future issue of Film Fun Comics. Remember, the NUELOW Games version of Black Cat isn't limited to the 1940s. With the revised background for her that we presented in Film Fun Comics Vol. 2: The Black Cat vs. HIM! and ROLF!: Bat Meets Cat, Black Cat stories can be set any time from the 1700s through today.

Drop us a line if you have any questions or comments... we love to hear from our audience.

It's time for.... JOHN KERRY COMICS!

It's the secret origin of John Kerry, United States Secretary of State!

Originally published in by Fox Features Syndicate in 1941 and 1942, the comics stories contained in John Kerry vs. The Queen of Evil present irrefutable evidence that John Kerry has been "reporting for duty" a lot longer than his official biography would have you believe. (Well... the evidence is at least as solid as that proving that Barack Obama is a foreign-born agent of sinister powers whose presidency represents the culmination of a a plan hatched decades ago.)

Aside from three classic comics stories, John Kerry vs. The Queen of Evil contains a complete supplement for ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters and a foreword by editor and game designer Steve Miller.

Click here to see previews, or to get your own copy the book.

And if you don't want John Kerry vs. The Queen of Evil for yourself, get a copy for that special Birther/Truther/Conspiracy Theorist in your life. He or she will have an entirely new set of crazy notions to create evidence in support of!

NUELOW Heroes and Villains: Hot Shot

This character was inspired by a superhero illo created by Carter-Ethan Rankin and posted to the website Public Domain Superheroes (click on the link to see Rankin's original concept). Everything else in this post is Copyright 2013 Steve Miller.

Hot Shot was made with rules featured in "Mad Scientists Gone Wild," with a minor adjustment in anticipation of changes coming in the ROLF!-powered superhero RPG.

HOT SHOT (Female)
(aka Cecilia Consuela "CC" McQueen, sometimes Darcia Dora "DD" McQueen)
Brawn 20, Body 16, Brains 11
   Traits: Dead-Eye, Irrepressible Optimist, Mad Scientist, Nimble
   Combat Maneuvers: Backflip, Basic Attack, Bitch Slap, Disarm, Dodge, Double Tap, Seduce, Strike Pose, Sure Shot
   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Superhero Outfit (Armor, absorbs up to 2 points of damage). Love Gun (Mad Science "death ray gun," deals NO damage, Paralysis extra effect or subjects target to the Dance Move and Seduce combat maneuvers with CC as the attacker, but resistance must be checked against a constant ATT Body 18). Pistol (Ranged Weapon, deals 2 points of damage that ignore armor).
   Note: The wings are just for show and part of Hot Shot's costume to underscore the "angel of love" concept at the root of her super-identity.

Origin Story
CC McQueen owned and operated a gun shop and shooting range at one end of a strip mall in a suburb to Houston, Texas, while her twin sister Darcia ("DD") ran an adult bookstore and sex supply shop at the other end. Both women, genius-level chemists and mechanical engineers, also covertly supplied the heroes in the P.A.N.S. association with special-order weapons and gadgets.
   On a Thursday afternoon, both stores were being picketed by protesters--CC's establishment by an anti-gun group, and DD's by morality crusaders--when the villainous Instigator stirred up both groups into a violent mob that attacked the stores and burned down the entire shopping mall.
   Thanks to the weaponry on her store, CC was able to fend off the attackers with help from customers, but they didn't get to DD's store in time and she was severely injured and left in a coma. Enraged, CC went to her workshop to create weapons and a secret identity that would let her avenge her sister, but as she worked, she realized that revenge is a cycle that keeps spiraling... what the world needs was more love and tolerance. She designed an "angel of love" costume with a special gun to match.... and so equipped, she tracked down and defeated the Instigator during her first outing as Hot Shot.
   After DD recovered from her injuries, she began providing support efforts for CC's superheroic activities. One day, when CC was out of town for a gun-show, DD put on the costume and aided Texas Hellion in a battle against the Editor and homicidal clones of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleading Squad. DD and Texas Hellion soon fell in love, and they are dating in their civilian identities. This led to an awkward first meeting between CC and Texas Hellion, as CC did not know that DD was "moonlighting" as Hot Shot. But once the confusion was cleared up. CC and Texas Hellion became fast friends, and they now work together so frequently that they are viewed as a superhero team by the public.

Powers
Hot Shot has no superpowers, but is a crack-shot with her firearms and a world-class athlete in peak physical condition.

Enemies and Allies
The Instigator remains Hot Shots primary foe, but any enemy of peaceful co-existence will eventually find themselves in Hot Shot's sights.
   Hot Shot and Texas Hellion have worked together so often that they are almost viewed as a team. Their closeness is enhanced by the fact that DD is Texas Hellion's lover in their civilian identities. Meanwhile, CC has a on-again, off-again relationship with Captain Bananahammock.

Special Note
CC and DD have the same game stats, except DD has the Same Sex Preference in place of the Dead-Eye trait, and Walking Disaster Area in place of the Sure Shot combat maneuver.


NEW COMBAT MANEUVER
Here's an all-new combat maneuver that is possessed by Hot Shot but is available to any ROLF! character you may create.

Double Tap: Make a successful attribute check on 3d6 to gain an extra attack with a Ranged Weapon..
ATT Body

Two (2) new releases from NUELOW Games this week!

We've been so busy working on various releases (ROLF!: Revenge of the Nigerian Prince, various hybrid comic book/game products such as new volumes in the Film Fun Comics series, a horror anthology series, and sundry one-shots like John Kerry vs. the Queen of Evil, and the as-of-yet untitled superhero RPG) that we totally forgot to plug this week's releases on our own blog!

First, we released perhaps our strangest book yet -- yes, even stranger than Shadows of Dreams, our poetry collection with RPG magic item write-ups in the back: Black Cat Shows You How To Do Judo Tricks. It's got rules for martial arts in the ROLF! and OpenD6 game systems, a four page comic book story... and more than a dozen judo lessons from the leading lady of our comics line, Black Cat. It's a quirky little product with fabulous art by Lee Elias, and we think it's a great tool for anyone who wants better visualize what their martial arts bad-ass hero is doing when taking down the zombie hoards armed only with is fists of fury! Click here to check out previews or to get your very own copy!

Second, as hinted at in the post featuring ROLF! stats for Edward Snowden, we released a battle scenario inspired by the events this past week in Egypt titled ROLF!: Super Muslim Bros. It began life as a simple one-sheet of battle scenarios that Steve Miller was going to give away for free, but then L.L. Hundal got ahold of it and expanded it to a full product. Events moved so fast that our product was outdated the day after we released it, but the sentiments expressed in it still stands: NUELOW Games is officially glad to see the two-faced, lying bastards of the Muslim Brotherhood thrown out of power. We extend our support to freedom-loving Egyptians, and we hope that this time their revolution will bear fruit fit for human consumption. Click here to check out ROLF!: Super Muslim Bros. (And get ready for ROLF!: Revenge of the Nigerian Prince!)

Super Muslim Bros. Bonus Battle Scenario

We here at NUELOW Games extend our best wishes to the people of Egypt. We hope that the promise of the so-called Arab Spring will finally yield something like a path to ward true equality and liberty in that country, instead of the mockery that Morsi and the Muslim Bros. were instituting.

On that note, here's a ROLF! Battle Scenario to celebrate Morsi's ouster. It features the never-before-seen ROLF! character stats for Edward "Wait--I steal and make public government secrets and they revoke my passport?" Snowden.

BATTLE SCENARIO: SNOWDEN WITH MORSI

Background: Edward Snowden finally finds a country that will give him asylum -- Durkadurkastan, home to the people that even the Afghani Taliban thought were too crazy and extreme to keep around.. "You struck a blow at the every liver of the Great Satan! You will be a national hero! You will be given many virgins, and you won't even have to die to get them!" the letter acknowledging his request had been granted said, among other things.

   Upon arriving in Durkadurkastan, Snowden is given temporary quarters in a remote mountain cave ("It gets Sirius XM Radio and Showtime.... we had it installed when Sheik Osama lived here for a time!" Minister of Defeating the Infidels tells him.) Already staying in the cave is Mohamed Morsi, late of Egypt. The two hit it off, sharing many things, a general contempt for the United States of America being foremost among them.

   But, as they wait to be given their stately manors staffed with nubile virgins, as is befitting for heroes of Durkadurkastan, a massive snowstorm hits, trapping them in the cave. ("We will fetch you in a couple of weeks," the Interior Minister of Glorious Victory Over Infidels tells them via shortwave radio. "You maybe a bit short on food, but you can do with losing a few pounds, Sheik Morsi.")

   "Short on food" is an understatement. There is NO food in the cave at all. Within three days, Morsi and Snowden realize they're going to have to eat each other to survive. So, they set out to murder each other, so one will live.

   The Battle: This is a simple fight for two gamers. Each controls a character, and it continues until one of the cave-dwellers is dead. (Stats for Mohamed Morsi can be found both in ROLF!: The Mummy's Tune and ROLF!: Super Muslim Bros)

ROLF! STATS FOR EDWARD SNOWDEN

Edward Snowden (Male)

Brawn 14, Body 16, Brains 6

   Traits: Egomaniac, Left-handed, Improv Master

   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disarm, Dodge, Run Away!, Signature Move, Seduce Strike Pose

   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Laptop Computer (Small Melee Weapon, deals 2 points of damage OR one-short Ranged Weapon, deals 2 points of damage). NSA-issued poison-bladed knife (Small Melee Weapon, deals 2 points of damage).

Edward Snowden, Hero In His Own Mind

A Happy Canada Day to those folks a few miles north of me!

Happy birthday to Canada, the country that spawned such great talent as Barry Blair and William Shatner! And then there's Carter-Ethan Rankin, whose creations we've been leaning heavily on for the past few weeks here at the NUELOW Games blog, as pretty much every character that's appeared so far in the NUELOW Heroes and Villains series was conceived by him. (And if time allows, there will be yet another character drawn from one of his creations later today... the oft-mentioned Hot Shot.)

 But, as a change of pace, and to honor Canada's birthday, here's a character with ROLF! stats that's not created by Rankin, yet is still so Canadian that he probably bleeds maple syrup. Or maybe de-icing something-or-other.

DIXON OF THE MOUNTED (Male)
Brawn 21, Body 18 (includes +1 Hat Bonus), Brains 7
    Traits: Dead-Eye, Saddle Bum, Sense of Honor
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Deflect, Disarm, Dodge, Knock Out, Murderous Mitts, Sure Shot
   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Red Mounties Coat (Armor, absorbs 1 point of damage). Mountie Hat (provides +1 Body ATT while worn). Service Revolver (Small Ranged Weapon, deals 2 points of damage). Rifle (Medium Ranged Weapon, deals 4 points of damage that ignore armor).

Dixon starred in the first seven issues of Bell Features's Active Comics, where he always got his man (when he wasn't rescuing his lady-friend Ruth Barton).
   (Dixon was created using battle maneuvers included in ROLF!: Bathtime on Bear Creek.)