Wild Bill Clanton vs. Steve Costigan

In our latest release, The Conquests of Wild Bill Clanton, we present the best of Robert E. Howard's "adult" short stories featuring the nasty character mentioned in the title. The book also contains game material for the OGL d20 System, some of it new, some of it revised from some of our previous releases, but all of it geared toward capturing the feel of Howard's "spicy" Wild Bill stories.

Art by Warren King

Wild Bill Clanton is like a dark reflection of Howard's Steve Costigan. They are both sailors with a knack for getting into trouble, they both are hard drinkers, they both have strong sexual appetites... but Clanton is a self-centered brute and a rapist while Costigan, for all his rough edges, is ultimately motivated by chivalrous and gentlemanly impulses when it comes to the "fairer sex."

While we included OGL d20 material in The Conquests of Wild Bill Clanton, we used the ROLF! game system to bring Steve Costigan to the gaming table in Fists of Foolishness, Shanghaied Mitts, ROLF!: Hammerin' Tongs, and ROLF!: The Tornado vs. Steve Costigan. However, since Wild Bill is the sort of person that Steve Costigan is likely to beat the living hell out of if the two ever cross paths, L.L Hundal & Steve Miller present this ROLF! battle scenario featuring both of Robert E. Howard's battling sailors.

The following text is Copyright 2015 by Steve Miller, but permission is granted to copy and print for personal use if you want to play the battle scenario.

WHEN STEVE MET BILL

Writing by Steve Miller * Editing by L.L. Hundal

(A ROLF! Battle Scenario featuring characters created by Robert E. Howard)

From the Adventures of Steve Costigan, as transcribed by R.E. Howard:

  I was on my way back to the Sea Gal after Lo Tan's wedding when I came across this little white gal, curled up in a ball at the mouth of a filthy alley, crying. It stabbed me in the heart to see such a pretty little thing, with beautiful red hair and freckled white skin, in such a state. Especially after I'd just spent the day surrounded by such happiness. I asked her what'd happened and when she looked at me, I saw that her face was swollen and bruised. I helped her to feet and saw that her dress was so shredded that it barely qualified as clothes anymore.

   I let her wrap herself in my jacket, and my sympathetic feelings turned to anger as she described how she'd been robbed and abused by a lout who'd promised to get her on a ship out of Shanghai. He'd beaten her--and worse--and then thrown her into the alley like so much garbage.

   I demanded to know where this felon could be found, and she pointed me to a door down the alley. "But he's dangerous," she said. "You've heard of Wild Bill Clanton, right? He kills people who cross him."

   "Not me," I told her. "I've never heard of him, and he won't have a chance to kill me, because I knock the blocks off of folks like him. I'll get you your money back, and I'll get you out of Shanghai."
   I marched down the alley to the door indicated with the shivering little woman following a few feet behind. "Be careful! Please be careful," she was saying. I paid her no mind and kicked down the door she'd indicated. Inside, in a small room, was one of the ugliest cusses I'd ever laid eyes on. But he was big, almost as big as any man I'd fought. And he he leapt to his feet and took a stance that told me he was a fighting man. He gritted his teeth and glared at me with fiery eyes. He was aiming a pistol at me. I can't say I blame him; I had just kicked down his door.
   "Are you Clanton," I demanded.
   "I am!" said he,  "Who the !#$% are you?!"
   "They call me Costigan," I told him and asked, "Did you hit a young lady and take advantage of her in her time of need?"
   "Probably, but I don't meet many ladies around here."
   I felt my blood getting hotter. Here was a guy that needed some serious whopping. But I've learned the hard way not to jump to conclusions just because some pretty girl says she's in trouble. I probably will never be able to go back to Okinawa due to a situation just like this one. But this Clanton fellow seemed like he was on the up-and-up--or, more accurately, like he was a low-down creep.
    So I said, "Did you hurt a little redheaded girl today? Did you rob her?"
    Clanton roared with laughter. "That slag? She's no lady! I don't know what she told you, but she had it coming. And I tell you, she enjoyed every--"
   That's when I lost my temper and charged him. Gun or no gun, I was going to knock some decency into him. No matter what a man thinks a woman may have done, he never he never has any justification for laying a hand on her. And he sure as hell doesn't force himself on her in any way whatsoever.

The Battle Scenario
The scenario is for two players and it uses the pre-generated characters detailed below. One player controls Steve Costigan, the other Wild Bill Clanton. The fight starts at Ranged distance and continues until either Costigan and Yvette or Clanton is defeated.
   If Costigan is defeated, Yvette leaps into the fray the following round, attacking Clanton. If she is also defeated... well, then we know why NUELOW Games isn't releasing anymore books or ROLF! supplements starring Steve Costigan.
   If Clanton is beaten, either Yvette or Costigan goes through his pockets and takes all his money. Costigan, if defeated, regains consciousness and takes Yvette to his ship, the Sea Gal, where she gets passage to its next port of call. Happy endings all around, except for Wild Bill Clanton.
 

   

Pre-Generated Characters
STEVE COSTIGAN (Male)
Brawn 33; Body 11; Brains 5
   Traits: Egomaniac, Short-tempered, Too Sexy for My Shirt.
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disarm, Dodge, Knock Out, Murderous Mitts.
   Important Stuff Wielded/Worn: His Best Suit (Clothes).
   Special Note: Costigan is almost always in the company of Mike the White Bulldog. On the second round of a fight involving Costigan anywhere but in a boxing ring, Mike attacks the opponent with the lowest Body score, dealing 2 points of damage. Mike’s attacks are reduced by Armor or can be avoided with the Dodge Combat Maneuver. Mike attacks once each subsequent round, always targeting the character with the lowest Body score (other than Costigan). Mike fights for two rounds after Costigan goes down.

WILD BILL CLANTON (Male)
Brawn 30, Body 12, Brains 5
   Traits: Coldhearted, Egomaniac, Short-tempered
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disembowel, Knock Out, Murderous Mitts, Run Away,
   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Pistol (Small Ranged Weapon, deals 2 points of damage that ignore armor). Knife ( Small Melee Weapon, deals 2 points of damage).

YVETTE FREISE (Female)
Brawn 21, Body 15, Brains 5
   Traits: Improv Master, Nimble, Too Sexy for My Shirt
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Castrate, Dodge, Double Strike, Strike Pose,
   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Tattered Dress (Clothes, barely covers nakedness)