MercyMe does 'Thriller'

If we could, we'd hire MercyMe as the NUELOW Games houseband... we love their cover tunes! (I admit we're not terribly familiar with what they're most famous for--which is Christian rock.)

And in the spirit of the approaching Halloween holiday, we present them performing "Thriller", Michael Jackson's famous tribute to monster movies. And we feel that the approach MercyMe takes to monsters is about in line with what we did with our Halloween product "Creature Feature." Check out the great song, below, and the check out the ROLF! tribute to the classic monsters of film and literature by clicking here.

'Shadows of Dreams': Our most unusual book yet

The latest entry in NUELOW Games's Robert E. Howard Collection series is also one of the most unusual projects we've released to date--it's part poetry collection, part dual-system RPG supplement.

Shadows of Dreams: Poems and Verse by Robert E. Howard collects a small but broad sample of poetry from the creator of Conan and Solomon Kane, thus offering a look at what is perhaps the most obscure of is output. Poems featured range in length from a couple of lines to a couple of pages, and they range in tone from the humorous through contemplative and into the horrific. Here's a sample page (click to enlarge):

Verse by R.E. Howard. Illo by Derek Stevens.
(Illo Copyright 2012 Otherworld Creations. Used under license.)

 In addition, the book contains "Artifacts of the Eternals", which features four magical items created by NUELOW's lead designer Steve Miller with inspiration drawn from Howard's poetry and the artwork selected to illustrate it. Each of the four items has game stats for OGL d20 Systems and OpenD6.

Click here to read more and to see previews of Shaodows of Dreams at DriveThruFiction... and download your own copy for just $1.25.

While you're checking out the latest offering from NUELOW Games, we want to recommend you consider grabbing a copy of a very excellent roleplaying game from the mind of James Desborough--ImagiNation.

It's been speculated that Robert E. Howard suffered from clinical depression, and that the condition was what caused him to obsess about death and to ultimately take his own life. Desborough has commented that ImagiNation was "made around my experiences with depression and creativity" and that the game was written to help people gain an understanding of what depression is like.

The PDF version of the game is available free of charge. Click here to read more and to get your own copy.

Robert E. Howard & ROLF!: Two great tastes that go great together

While in high school, Robert E. Howard wrote several satirical short stories that were published in "The Tattler," the school newspaper. Being big advocates of recycling, we here at NUELOW Games have incorporated one of young Robert's stories into our latest ROLF! supplement, The Sheik: A Literary (?) Spoof.

The Sheik is a savage spoof of romance novels that features Howard's short story, ROLF! stats for its main characters, and a battle scenario--although the story itself is probably the best series of ROLF! Battle Scenarios we have never published.

"Robert E. Howard wrote better ROLF! fiction than anyone we might ask to write ROLF! fiction," said L.L. Hundal, the co-creator of ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters and designer of The Sheik: A Literary (?) Spoof by Robert E. Howard. "I didn't think anyone would ever have the combination of silliness and writing ability to capture the spirit of ROLF!... yet here's someone who was doing it in the 1920s. And he grew up to be the creator of Conan no less."

Click here to visit DriveThruFiction.com to see previews of The Shiek: A Literary (?) Spoof by Robert E. Howard, and to purchase your own copy for just $0.60.

It's International James Bond Day!

We have a ROLF! release planned in celebration, but the nefarious Agents of HUMMUS (Human Underlings of the Martian Military Unified Services  and the sinister forces of POTS (People's Organization for Terrorism and Socialism) raided our offices and absconded with L.L. Hundal and the computer files for ROLF!: "Bond. Jane Bond."

We're still hoping that she wlll be rescued in time for us to release the product for Bond Day--but if all else fails we'll put it out to coincide with the new James Bond film Skyfall. (And for the record, the NUELOW Games staff thinks that this looks like the first real Bond movie in quite some time--Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace don't count; they may have aspired to be Bond movies, but they didn't hit the mark.



Meanwhile, by way of a preview of ROLF!: "Bond. Jane Bond.", here's the cover illo by Charles Baskerville and Karl M.), as well as game stats for Agent 002, the ultimate Bond Girl!

JANE BOND, AGENT 002 (Female)

Brawn 31; Body 16; Brains 11.

Traits: Dead-Eye, Hard to Kill, Improv Master, Nimble, Stone Cold Killer

Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Bitch Slap, Disembowel, Dodge, Double Strike, Murderous Mitts, Seduce, Signature Move, Strike Pose, Sure Shot, The Look.

Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Designer Evening Gown (Clothes). Mini-bombs (Ranged Weapons. 3 shots. Attached to dress. Deals 2 points of damage, ignores armor.) Automatic Pistol (Ranged Weapon. 10 shots. Deals 2 points of damage), Knife (Melee Weapon. Deals 2 points of damage).

And here are the two reasons we here at NUELOW are excited about the new Bond flick, which will be in theaters in November. First, there's the theme song--it's a proper James Bond theme song unlike the crap that opened the last two movies.



And then there's this... the preview that made me think that this is going to be the first real James Bond movie since Daniel Craig took over the role.


It looks like it's going to be lots of fun! (Speaking of fun, you might also want to take a look at The Sheik: A Literary (?) Spoof, a ROLF! supplement containing a short story by Robert E. Howard that DID make it through our process successfully! Check here to see previews and get a copy.

The answer to why politicians can't keep their promises

The latest NUELOW Games supplement for ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters unveils a massive conspiracy while giving those of your crazy enough to run actual ROLF! campaigns some jumping off points for your own creativity.

  "Red Robin vs. The Editor & the Clones of Romney" is a must-have if you've enjoyed any of our recent superhero-themed efforts, or ROLF! products like "The Breast Hope for Peace" and "Gaddafi's Angels." In addition to three linked battle scenarios of global importance, it features rules for having cloned characters, statistics for three pre-grenerated characters, and new Traits and Combat Maneuvers.

Click here to see previews, or to get your very own copy of "Red Robin vs. The Editor & the Clones of Romney."

A Pre-Generated ROLF! Character: El Lahab (aka Bruce the Flamer)

Here's a pre-generated character that can be used to augment ROLF! scenarios like The Breast Hope for Peace or Gaddafi's Angels, Flem El Lahab (aka Bruce Gevlam aka The Flamer aka Bruce the Flamer aka Suger Buns). His favorite things to do are attending al-Qaeda meetings, killing Infidels, taking long showers with his fellow terrorists, and singing along with ABBA and Boney M. songs. His sign is Virgo.

Flem El Lahab, aka Bruce the Flamer (Male)
Brawn 16, Body 14, Brains 6
Traits: Dumb, Nimble, Misogynist, Same Sex Preference
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Dance Move, Double Strike, Yodel, Seduce, Strike Pose
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: AK-47 Assault Rifle (Large Ranged Weapon, deals 4 points of damage that ignore armor. Can also be used as melee weapon and deal 2 points of damage).

El Lahab strutting his stuff at a recent al Qaeda get-together in Libya

NUELOW Gangnam Style Guide

It may come as a shock to you, but I am not terribly hip or with-it, so pop culture phenomenons often leave me scratching my head. (L.L. Hundal is slightly more in touch with the coolness of the universe, but that's because she lives in the pop cultural mecca that is Salt Lake City.)

When I first started listening to Psy's "Gangnam Style", I was thinking "Geeze, another cookie-cutter piece of crap." But I then I noticed how hilarious the video was. The VIDEO is what makes this thing worth listening to. It's full of hilarity, some screamingly obvious and others subtle but all perfectly timed.



As for the lyrics, I've now know what they say, courtesy of this webpage, and the video does them justice:

- Gangnam Style -

Oppa is Gangnam style
Gangnam style
A girl who is warm and humanle during the day
A classy girl who know how to enjoy the freedom of a cup of coffee
A girl whose heart gets hotter when night comes
A girl with that kind of twist
I’m a guy
A guy who is as warm as you during the day
A guy who one-shots his coffee before it even cools down
A guy whose heart bursts when night comes
That kind of guy
Beautiful, loveable
Yes you, hey, yes you, hey
Beautiful, loveable
Yes you, hey, yes you, hey
Now let’s go until the end
Oppa is Gangnam style, Gangnam style
Oppa is Gangnam style, Gangnam style
Oppa is Gangnam style
Eh- Sexy Lady, Oppa is Gangnam style
Eh- Sexy Lady oh oh oh oh
A girl who looks quiet but plays when she plays
A girl who puts her hair down when the right time comes
A girl who covers herself but is more sexy than a girl who bares it all
A sensable girl like that
I’m a guy
A guy who seems calm but plays when he plays
A guy who goes completely crazy when the right time comes
A guy who has bulging ideas rather than muscles
That kind of guy
Beautiful, loveable
Yes you, hey, yes you, hey
Beautiful, loveable
Yes you, hey, yes you, hey
Now let’s go until the end
Oppa is Gangnam style, Gangnam style
Oppa is Gangnam style, Gangnam style
Oppa is Gangnam style
Eh- Sexy Lady, Oppa is Gangnam style
Eh- Sexy Lady oh oh oh oh
On top of the running man is the flying man, baby baby
I’m a man who knows a thing or two
On top of the running man is the flying man, baby baby
I’m a man who knows a thing or two
You know what I’m saying
Oppa is Gangnam style
Eh- Sexy Lady, Oppa is Gangnam style
Eh- Sexy Lady oh oh oh oh

And the video and the lyrics become even funnier if you know how they fit into the map of Korean society. This article explains that nicely.

With every success, comes parodies and covers... and "Gangnam Syle" is no exception. I keep typing it "Gundam Style", so there may be a good parody based off that coming eventually... but not yet.)

We're going to give you the best parody up front... it takes "Gangnam Style" and crosses it with the characters and music from one of the greatest movies ever made--"Big Trouble in Little China." The result is "Lo Pan Style"... and watch for the great cameo from James Wong.



Here's one from Jervy Hou that's almost as funny as the original. For your amusement: "Gunman Style."

 

And not to be outdone, the Klingons and Trekkies are getting in on the action with the hilarious "Oppa Klingon Style".
 

And here's a Japanese perspective with "You Study Like Sh*t"....



And then there's this:

Finally, here's an alternate English translation being performed. :)

Soon to be a best-selling RPG, based on the major motion picture...

NUELOW Games is aggressively pursuing the RPG license for a forthcoming cinematic masterpiece of existential modern-day psychological horror. We are, truly, the only RPG publisher with the level of style and class who could do it justice.

Prepare yourself for the terror of GHOST TITS by watching the bone-chilling preview...



Visit the official site, www.wheredemtitsgo, by clicking here.

Who will win when it's Pirates vs. Fairies?

The latest NUELOW Games release for ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters answers the age old question: Who would win in a fight--Pirates or Fairies?

Now you and your game group can discover the answer in ROLF!: Pirates vs. Fairies. For just $0.50, you'll get five pre-generated characters that are ready for battle, never-before-seen Traits to let you make your own ROLF! fairies, and the usual assortment of Combat Maneuvers and Battle Scenarios.

Check it out today! Get yourself ready for International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

UPDATE:
We've been told that the age old question is whether Pirates or Ninjas would win in a fight. Oh well. I guess we're living up to our image as cutting edge by asking a question no one has asked before!! (And for the record, we answered the Pirates vs. Ninjas question in Cap'n Jack on the Isle of Pirate's Doom.)

The Man Who IS Fantasy comes to ROLF!

When the world is threatened by the Cult of Kathulos, only the combined might of the world's foremost fantasy author and man of adventure R.L. McSterlingthong and mad scientist Nikola Tesla can save us!

R.L. McSterlingthong and Nikolai Tesla vs. The Daughter of Skull-Face is a ROLF! supplment that's almost as epic as one R.L. McSterlingthong's novels. With game statistics for McSterlingthong, Tesla, the Daughter of Skull-Face, and Kathulos Cultists, and four linked battle scenarios, it features the same level of realism and careful research you have come to expect from NUELOW Games ever since we released ROLF!: The Death of Osama bin Laden.

 Click here to check out previews of R.L. McSterlingthong and Nikolai Tesla vs. The Daughter of Skull-Face, or to get your own copy for just $0.60, at RPGNow.com. For more on McSterlingthong and his writings, visit his Fan Page, or keep up with his exciting life on his personal Facebook Page.

If you want to catch up on who Kathulos is, and why there's a cult devoted to him, check out Robert E. Howard's Skull-Face.

September 7 is National Buy a Book Day!

Logo by Clifton Hill

Last year, editor Phil Athans declared September 7 National Buy a Book Day--a day where you buy a book from any retailer, in any format, to support writers, publishers, and retailers. And to get yourself some great entertainment as well!

September 7 is back, and so is National Buy a Book Day! We here at NUELOW Games would like YOU to join in the celebration, so to make easy for you, we're discounting all of our fiction collections by 25% for the entire weekend. Even the brand-new, literally just released today Breckinridge Elkins Rides Again by Robert E. Howard is available at a discount!

If we had an art budget....

.... beyond the money we find under the couch cushions when we are at our friends's homes, we would have cool art like this stuff by Jim Steranko in Oriental Stories 3: An American in Afghanistan. That anthology features Robert E. Howard's final great series character Francis X. Gordon, nicknamed El Borak.. These are some great El Borak drawings (whether or not that is who Steranko originally portrayed.).

And then there's this drawing of Black Cat. Of course, if I'd seen it before we produced ROLF!: Bat Meets Cat, I would have given her the Too Sexy for My Shirt Trait.

For more artwork by Steranko, check out this gallery at Shades of Gray.

Stories in six words

There's a legend that Ernest Hemingway was trying to bum a drink of a friend, and that he ultimately succeeded by proving he could write a story in less than ten words. His story was, supposedly, just six words long:

 For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn.

 It's a fun little game to play, but I have to admit that I seem to need seven or eight words at least to make a story I'm happy with. Nonetheless, I'm toying with the idea of including a few super-short Battle Scenarios in upcoming ROLF! scenarios. Does anyone out there have an opinion? Or maybe some less-than-10-word scenarios to contribute? Post 'em below, or send them to us here at NUELOW Games via email. Meanwhile, here are a few of my more successful attempts six-word stories.

  "I'm no Hemingway," his killer said.

  She returned. Emma was soon avenged.

  He rolled the dice and danced.

The joy of writing six word stories!

He's a Monster of Cookies AND a Monster of Rock!

Is this or is it not Cookie Monster performing Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger"?

NUELOW Games: The only RPG publisher covering the GOP convention!

Yep. We're on the cutting edge all right! What other RPG publisher has produced a game supplement to tie in with the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida? There isn't one!

And to top it off, we even incorporated the fact that a hurricane is bearing down upon the city! We're not only on the cutting edge... we ARE the cutting edge!

In ROLF!: Mister Freedom vs. Blowhard, Joe Biden (in his secret superhero identity of Mister Freedom) squares off against the villainous Blowhard and his Siren sidekicks in order to save Florida and the Republicans. But will Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan help or hinder him?!

Click here to see previews of ROLF!: Mister Freedom vs. Blowhard, or to do you part to stimulate the economy and get your own copy for just $0.50.,

New Modern d20 OGL rules set from NUELOW!

I've made it pretty clear over the years that I'm not a big fan of the combination of a level-based character advancement when it's married to a restrictive, class-based system for governing character abilities. But it's hard to deny that the most popular RPG games do just that.

But that doesn't mean those games can't be made better by breaking down some of the level/class barriers. And that's where this latest release from NUELOW Games comes in.

MODERN BASICS--Feats of Mysticism & Magic: A Flexible Magic System for OGL Games is a brief supplement that is compatible with most d20-based OGL systems. It divorces the spellcasting system classes, opening up more flexibility in character creation and advancement. It is designed with more mordern and futuristic settings in mind where the stereotypical wizard and cleric are the exceptions rather than the norm.

Click here to see a preview, and/or to get your own copy for just $0.75. And please let me know how it works for you if you use in in your games!

Celebrate Bill's Clinton's 66th birthday with ROLF!

Bill Clinton turns 66 today Why don't you spend it playing ROLF!... it's probably what he would do if we had a version that came with strippers -- and if he had ever heard of NUELOW Games and The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters.

To make it easy to get the party started, we've created a bundle of products featuring not only Bill Clinton but also other US Presidents, such as JFK, Barack Obama, and Abraham Lincoln. The products also feature enemies and allies worthy of these great men, such as Huda the Bikini-clad Wonder, Commies from Jupiter, al-Qaeda terrorists, Girl Scouts, Martians, and many, many more.

Get your Birthday Box by clicking here. It's only $2! But don't delay if you;'re interested. This bundle is only available today and tomorrow. (The individual products will all remain on sale separately, of course.)

The latest for ROLF!: Bill Clinton Meets a Girl Scout

ROLF!: Bill Clinton Meets a Girl Scout presents three battle scenarios revolving around Girl Scouts and former President of the United States Bill Clinton. Julian Assange also puts in an appearance... and Hillary Clinton is working over-time to save Bill from himself and from the Girl Scouts from Jupiter!

Bill Clinton Meets a Girl Scout features ROLF! stats for all the characters mentioned above, as well as Mel the Girl Scout Leader and Chairman Yalasha, the nefarious leader of the Commies from Jupiter, who was previously seen battling Rambo and his hippie allies. She's back... and she's looking to give Julian Assange something he richly deserve....

The package also includes an assortment of Combat Maneuvers and Traits not found in the basic ROLF! game and three battle scenarios. All this in just 5 pages... and for just $0.50!

Click here to get a copy of ROLF!: Bill Clinton Meets a Girl Scout, or to see previews.

Julian Assange ala ROLF!

L.L. Hundal made the following comment when I suggested we add Julian Assange to the soon-to-be-released ROLF!: Bill Clinton Meets a Girl Scout:

"If there ever was someone who is a suitable subject for violet fantasies, it's that cowardly prig."

(And yes... she uses "prig" and not "prick." She's so refined... and so very British. You'd think two decades in the U.S, would have cured her of that.)

Julian Assange ala ROLF!
By L.L. Hundal

JULIAN ASSANGE (Male, but not a man)
Brawn 21; Body 14; Brains 5.
Traits: Cowardly, Too Sexy For My Shirt.
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Bitch Slap, Debate Philosophy, Double Strike, Seduce.
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Expensive Suit (Clothes), Laptop Computer (Medium melee weapon, deals 2 point of damage, or one-shot ranged weapon that deals 2 points of damage).

Coming tomorrow -- "ROLF!: Bill Clinton Meets a Girl Scout"

Bill & Hillary Clinton. Julian Assange. Girl Scouts from Jupiter! And much much more! How much more? Take it away, Bill, because it's your birthday August 19th, and we're celebrating it!

Presenting... ROLF!: When Bat Meets Cat!

In Guardian City's War on Crime, no one fights harder than the mask-wearing superheroes. These are their stories.

*Dumn-Dumng!!*

A superhero with "Bat" in his name. A mystery woman with "Cat" in her name. Controversial comments involving chicken sandwiches. Protests! Counter-protests!

Could we possibly squeeze any more exploitation material into one 6 page product? Well, maybe. It all depends on how you want to interpret the fact we named the villain Chickenhawk.

ROLF!: Bat Meets Cat is the latest supplement for L.L. Hundal & Steve Miller's humorous ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters. This superhero-orientated product features five pre-generated characters, several new combat maneuvers and traits, and a fearsome new Spelling.

Click here to look at previews, or to get your own copy for just $0.60.

'The First Paladin': Peter Adkison runs his game

If you're curious to see what the founder of Wizards of the Coast and his players do at their gaming table, you're in luck.

Peter Adkison is turning a campaign set in his "homebrew" campaign world of Chaldea into a series of short films you can watch online. Click here to check out the website.

He does it right!

A visit by The Most Interesting Man in the World is always a welcome event here at NUELOW World Headquarters.

You can join The Most Interesting Man in the World and his good friend Chuck Norris as they time-travel to one of their greatest adventures in ROLF!: The Death of Adolf Hilter... for just $0.50!

Click here for previews, or to download a copy of the exciting and funny ROLF! supplement that reveals what really happened to one of the most evil men to ever walk the earth.

New fiction collection from NUELOW Games!

The Misadventures of Breckinridge Elkins is the latest addition to NUELOW Games's ongoing exploration of the lesser-known works of the great Robert E. Howard.

This time, Robert E. Howard Collection-series editor Steve Miller offers an assortment of Howard's madcap humor tales from the wildest corner of the wild west... stories Howard wrote late in his career that were written as much for love as they were for money.

If you enjoyed Shanghaied Mitts or Fists of Foolishness, you'll be laughing out loud at The Misadventures of Breckinridge Elkins.

Even L.L. Hundal, who is usually lukewarm toward Howard's writings, loves the Breckinridge Elkins stories!

For more information and a preview, or to download a pdf copy for just $2.50, click here.

A new RPG for you to look into

Hello, friends and gamers!

When you're not playing ROLF! or some other thing from NUELOW Games, maybe the good folks over at Mythos Arcanum Games can help fill the rest of your time.

Click here to check out their website.

I'm sure you'll notice that they're a far more professional-looking outfit that we have ever been! But I hope you will still love us for the raggamuffins that we are!

(We have no affiliation with Mythos Arcanum... we just felt like giving them a plug.)

MercyMe & the Cover Tune Grab Bag!

Artist Todd Lockwood inadvertently took a step to make sure no work will be done at NUELOW Games today: He pointed us to videos by MercyMe, perhaps the wackiest live cover band ever! (They may replace the Ukele Orchestra of the UK as our dream house band for when we Hit It Big.)

Here are few of my favorite MercyMe videos (so far):



"Epic" is the only word to describe this video!


Greatest "Eye of the Tiger" cover ever?


The theme song for "The Return of the King" (in ROLF!: Christmas Special II) and ROLF!: Creature Feature:


And the award for Best Use of Random Headgear by a Cover Band goes to MercyMe.


Somewhere, Jon Bon Jovi wondered why a chill ran down his spine....


And one final one, because L.L. Hundal will either love me or kill me for this (given that she has been known to dance around and sing like a lunatic to the original version):

August 4 is Barack Obama's birthday!

And NUELOW Games is helping him and his supporters celebrate by offering a one-day only special bundle of products: THE BARACK BIRTHDAY BOX!

Heck, even if you're not a fan of President Obama, you should check out this special offer. Buying it will help stimulate the economy... and you'll get several cool ROLF! products at 60% off the usual price. This is also a great way to test our flagship rollplaying game.

The birthday box includes a copy of ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters, The Death of Osama bin Laden, The Breast Hope for Beast, Gahdaffi's Angels, Dead Presidents, and our latest release Dragon vs. Tiger. Check it out! It's your patriotic duty! :)

Click here to check out the BARACK BIRTHDAY BOX!

The 75 year-old mystery of Amelia Earhart's fate... SOLVED!

On July 2^nd, 1937, trailblazing woman pilot Amelia Earhart vanished with her navigator Fred Noonan over the Pacific Ocean while attempting to fly around the world. Her fate has remained a mystery.... Until now.

ROLF!: Amelia vs. the Queen of the 57th Dimension pits Amelia and Fred against the evil sorcererss who rules a distant dimension after she takes them to her world. It features rules for aircraft battles, several new spellings, plenty of combat maneuvers, and ROLF! statistics for Amelia Earhart, Fred Noonan, the alien Nashtar, and the evil queen Malefique.

Check out ROLF!: Amelia vs. the Queen of the 57th Dimension" by clicking here.

In recognition of Gary Gygax Day...

Here are ROLF! stats for Gary Gygax, one of the creators of D&D and the Greyhawk fantasy world, and designer of the Dangerous Journeys roleplaying game, and other games.

GARY GYGAX (Male)
Brawn 22, Body 11, Brains 8
Traits: Dead-Eye
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Debate Philosophy, Disarm, Dodge, Do Lunch, Human Cannonball, Pimp Slap, Walk and Chew Gum
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: RPG Rulebook (Small Melee Weapon, deals 1 point of damage). Dice bag (Small Melee Weapon, deals 1 point of damage OR one-shot Ranged Weapon, deals 3 points of damage).
SPECIAL ATTACK: While carrying his dice bag, Gary Gygax can spend an entire turn dropping four-sided dice (d4s) to the ground. The following round, these automatically deal 2 points of damage that ignore armor to all who engage him in melee.

ROLF!: The Final Battle (#1 - #6)

Back in December, we announced that we would be releasing a "Final Battle" for ROLF! every month this year... until the Mayan-predicted End of the World came upon us. (And it's gotta happen this year, right? New-Age Profiteers and Doomsday Cultists have to be right that the end of the Mayan calendar portends the end of the world, right? I mean... the calendar on my kitchen wall ends on December 31, 2012, too! So someone must have it right--either the Wise Ancients or the makers of the Cats calendar.)

And with all the confusion about exactly when the world would end, for all we know it could come sooner. It could come now. Or now. Or perhaps now. Or maybe next week.

Well, no matter what, we're past the halfway mark of 2012, and we're still here! To celebrate (and by request from a couple ROLF! players) we offer this listing of "Final Battles" so you can make sure you have them all and make sure that you're the proud owner of one of the last-ever releases from NUELOW Games.

FINAL BATTLE #1: THE GRIM REAPER vs. THE FERTILITY GODDESS -- It's the Mayan goddess Ix-Chel and Chuck Norris teaming up to fight Death Itself. This product introduced rules for making god-like characters in ROLF!

FINAL BATTLE #2: GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER AND THE NUTS OF DOOM -- Only George Washington Carver, Master of Peanuts, can stop a broken-hearted mad scientist from destroying humanity by turning all women into ugly, stupid men. This product was both a Final Battle and a sequel to Black Kitten vs. June Collyer.

FINAL BATTLE #3: ESCAPE FROM EDEN -- When time-traveling Eco-Terrorists go to the Garden of Eden with the intent of killing Eve, only one man can stop them and save us all: Snake Plisskin. More thrilling than any John Carpenter film... more epic than any Cecil B. DeMille movie! Never has the story of Genesis been told in such a dramatic fashion!

FINAL BATTLE #4: THE DEATH OF ADOLF HITLER -- Time-traveling Nazi super-soldiers seek to stop a time-traveling Chuck Norris from killing Adolf Hitler. Only The Most Interesting Man in the World can save history (by time-traveling). Featuring the historic first-ever team-up between Chuck Norris and The Most Interesting Man in the World.

FINAL BATTLE #5: MAD SCIENTISTS GONE WILD! -- The air is thick with death rays when love-starved mad scientists battle over the heart of Dr. Floss, the prettiest woman to ever seek world domination. This product introduced rules for making death ray guns to ROLF!

FINAL BATTLE #6: POTS vs. PANS -- The final showdown between the pure-hearted heroes of PANS and the dastardly villains of POTS. This product introduced rules for making superheroes to ROLF!

Will there be a Final Battle #7? Only the Ancient Wise Mayans knew for sure! But if we're still around, it will be released in early August.

Happy birthday, Amelia Earhart

The legendary aviator (aviatrix?) Amelia Earhart was born 115 years ago today. She's one of L.L. Hundal's favorite historical figures; she even wears her hair a little like Earhart used to. We may be releasing a ROLF! battle scenario featuring her if SOMEONE GETS ME THE FINAL MANUSCRIPT FOR REVIEW AND ART-PLACEMENT! (Yes, Hundal. I'm talking about YOU!)

In the meantime, here's Earhart ala ROLF!, designed by L.L. Hundal.

Amelia Earhart (Female)
Brawn: 24 (includes +1 Hat Bonus), Body: 16, Brains: 12
Traits: Dead-Eye, Honorable, Nimble
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Bitch Slap, Disarm, Dodge, Do Lunch, Double Strike, Knock Out, Murderous Mitts, Run Away!, Seduce, Strike Pose, Sure Shot
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Aviator Helmet and Goggles (Hat. +1 Brawn ATT when worn). Leather Flight Jacket (Armor. Absorbs up to 2 points of damage). Pistol (Medium Ranged Weapon, deals 2 points of damage that ignore armor). Lug Wrench (Medium Melee Weapon, deals 3 points of damage).

Earhart, her plane, and her navigator Fred Noonan vanished without at trace over the Pacific in July of 1937. They were attempting to fly around the world, and if Earhart had been successful, she would have been the first woman pilot to accomplish that feat. Her fate remains a mystery to this day.

You can learn more about Earhart at the official website maintained by a company operated by her family by clicking here.

For a little on the latest attempt to solve the mystery behind what happened to Earhart and Noonan, click here and here.

'Bathtime on Bear Creek' - A ROLF! Western

The latest release for NUELOW Games's ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighers joins the annual bath of Bear Creek's menfolk in progress... just as the notorious Black Phantom Gang arrives to destroy the peace. Will Breckinridge Elkins, the greatest hero of the Humboldt Mountains, stop the outlaws from cleaning up so his kinfolk can get clean?

"Bathtime on Bear Creek" was inspired by the Breckinridge Elkins comedic western stories by the great Robert E. Howard--stories that L.L. Hundal have described as reading like ROLF!-based gaming fiction. In addition to six pre-generated characters and a bunch of combat maneuvers and traits, this release includes the short story "Mountain Man" so you can see if you agree with her estimation.

Click here for previews or to get your own copy for just $0.75.

ROLF: Chinese Take Out - Order yours at RPGNOW.com!

When two assassins with a past history meet in Seattle's Chinatown, it's a foregone conclusion that one of them will be taken out!

Check out ROLF: Chinese Take Out! Inspired by Hong Kong action flicks and the half-eaten lunch on L.L. Hundal's desk, it features a quick-playing battle scenario, four pre-generated characters, and a whole mess of combat maneuvers and traits you can use when creating your own ROLF! characters.

As an extra bonus, you can have a chance to influence future ROLF! products if you can give a reply to the Great Question.

Get your copy, or see a preview, by clicking here. Also, if you get a copy now, you might find yourself in possession of a very special, limited edition version of "Chinese Take Out", because Steve Miller has decied he doesn't like the cover, and he will be replacing it as soon as possible! (And you'll have the opportunity to get a free copy of the new version.)

The cover image that Steve doesn't like

The third and final 'Oriental Stories' collection just released

Oriental Stories, Vol. 3: A Texan in Afghanistan is the latest addition to NUELOW Games's line-up of fiction anthologies. This one collects five of the best novelettes featuring Robert E. Howard's final major series character, Francis X. Gordon. It's a pdf e-book--ideal for reading on your iPad or even iPod Touch--and it can be had for $3.99.

Like the other Howard collections edited by Steve Miller, this book shines the spotlight on some of Howard's finest writing... and once again demonstrates that his talent reached far, far beyond Conan and the Sword & Sorcery fantasy genre that he created.

For the complete selection of NUELOW Games's fiction anthologies. click here.

All in color... for just six dimes!

The true story of how the very first ROLF! color products came to be:

L.L. Hundal: If we're doing more superheroes, we should do them in color.

Steve Miller: But the ROLF! style is black-and-white line art.

L.L. Hundal: It's my line. We can break the style if I want. I think we should do color art.

Steve Miller: Okay. If you want to do color, you need to produce a color cover illo.

[Fifteen Minutes Later...]

L.L. Hundal: Done. Now make "POTS vs. PANS" in color.

And so, the latest NUELOW Games excursion into superheroics is all in color for just six dimes!

This supplement for ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters features nine pre-generated super-charcters (each with their own full-length, four-color portrait), new Combat Maneuvers and Traits, and everything you need to make your own ROLF! super-characters.

Click here for more information, or to get your own copy!

If you can't make it to a game store for free stuff today...

... on this, June 16, 2012, the much-anticipated Free RPG Day, here's something that might lift your spirits:

Through Midnight (Pacific Time) today, you can download a free copy of "Jeff Grubb's Dyvil" and/or "Steve Miller's 30-Minute Roleplaying Game" and/or "ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big, Dumb Fighters."

(Well... for the duration of 6/15/2012 anyway.)

All three games are great for pick-sessions in between your scheduled events at conventions this summer, ROLF! in particular. It even comes with an ever-expanding array of combat scenarios and pre-generated characters so you can start playing immediately. (Those are not free... we need to feed the cats and keep Steve Miller's car gassed up. Click here to see listings.)

The passing of Robert E. Howard and what he left behind

On June 11, 1936, writer Robert E. Howard took his own life in a fit of despair. He was 36.












The preceding story was by Roy Thomas and Sandy Plunkett and it originally appeareed in "Epic Illustrated" #34. The scans were posted by Joe Bloke on his excellent Grantbridge Street & Other Misadventures blog, from where I grabbed them without so much as a "how do you do?".

Robert E. Howard has been one of my favorite writers since the early 1990s, when I first discovered his "King Kull" stories. I had been a fan of the "Conan the Barbarian" comic book from Marvel for years before that, and I'd tried reading some of the Conan paperbacks--where De Camp or Carter or someone revised and rewrote his stories but found I preferred the comics over the fiction. (Interestingly, the reverse was true when it came to King Kull.)

But the Kull stories, I loved. I later added "Solomon Kane" to that list and as the web came into its own, I soon discovered that Howard was not only more than Conan, he was more than fantasy fiction... he wrote lots of horror stories, adventure stories, and wild comedy stories.

Steve Costigan. Black Vulmea. Skull-Face. El Borak. Steve Harrison. Breckinridge Elkins. Cormac FitzGeoffrey. Bran Mak Morn. Red Sonya. And dozens more crusader knights, pirates, and hard-bitten men of action--fighting, and sometimes losing, against impossible odds. If you like action, you should like Robert E. Howard, because his stories are crammed with it from beginning to end.

Since reviving NUELOW Games last year, I have been putting together little anthologies of Howard's fiction, focusing on his mostly forgotten works... including some that he counted among his personal favorites. It's my small attempt to call more attention to his many non-Conan writings. It's also my way of sharing my love for the body of work he left behind when he chose to leave this world so early in his life.

At the moment, NUELOW Games' anthologies are available at DriveThruFiction.com (as well as RPGNow.com and DriveThruRPG.com where the entire NUELOW Games line of products can be had) and only in PDF format. This format works on just about any laptop or desktop computer, as well as most Kindle models, iPads, and iPod Touch.

For a broad sampling of what Howard's non-Conan work is like, check out "Oriental Stories, Vol. 2." The book contains a sample of just about everything he wrote, except the playful first person style used in the Steve Costigan and Breckin Ridge Elkins stories.

If you like low fantasy or historical fiction, "The Deadly Sword of Cormac" and "Oriental Stories" is for you.

If you're in the mood for straight-on, Yellow Peril-style pulp fiction, "Skull-Face" is a novelette you'll enjoy.

If you like hardboiled detective tales (with a touch of horror), check out "Names in the Black Book".

If you want horror with a Southwestern flavor, "Shadows Over Texas" is the book for you.

If you like werewolves, "White Fell and Other Stories" is a must-read.

And if it's comedy or stories about boxing you want, "Fists of Foolishness" and "Shanghaied Mitts" are were you should look. (These books also include a roleplaying game and a solo adventure, respectively. The publisher is NUELOW Games after all.)

When reading the stories in "Shanghaied Mitts", "Shadows Over Texas", "Oriental Stories" and "Oriental Stories, Vol. 2", I can't help but mourn for what might have been. Howard too his life just as he was on the verge of leaving commericial hackery like Conan the Cimmerian behind and pursue his true literary passions. In the final five years of his life, which amounts to the second half of his professional career, Howard not only kept improving as a writer, but he discovered the types of stories he was most comfortable writing--stories of action and adventure that were grounded in this world and real history rather than made up universes.

I have four more Howard anthologies planned (El Borak and Breckinridge Elkins haven't gotten the NUELOW treatment yet, for starters), with an additional three taking shape in the back of my mind. I hope you'll consider checking out one or more of them.

Doctor Horrible ala ROLF!

The latest ROLF! supplement--"Mad Scientists Gone Wild"--introduces a new Trait to the game that lets you make characters who wield death ray guns! It comes with six pre-generated mad scientists and six battle scenarios so you can start playing almost instantly. Visit RPGNow.com for more details and a preview.

But, before you do, here's a seventh mad scientist... the infamous Doctor Horrible!

Doctor Horrible (Male)
Brawn 14, Body 17, Brains 8
Traits: Irrepressible Optimist, Mad Scientist.
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disarm, Dodge, Strategic Bleeding, Strike Pose, Yodel.
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: White lab smock (clothes), Safety Gloves (Armor, absorbs 1 point of damage). Safety Goggles (Armor, absorbs 1 point of damage). Death Ray Gun (Medium-sized Ranged Weapon, deals 1 point of damage, plus paralysis for 2d6 rounds ["freeze ray"]. The time distortion reduces target's Body ATT by 3 points, but when it wears off, he or she regains up to 4 points of Body ATT, to his or her original maximum). Laser Gun (Small-sized Ranged Weapon, deals 2 points of damage that ignores armor).

Doctor Horrible, Mad Scientist

If you haven't seen the "Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" short-form musical (starring Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion, and Felicia Day), it's well worth checking out. For your convenience...



By way of a preview, here's the closing song from Act One... when superhero Captain Hammer seems to steal Dr. Horrible's secret crush, Penny.