Trouble is a Friend of Mine: A Theme Song for PCs & GMs

He's there in the dark
He's there in my heart
He waits in the wings
He's gotta play a part
Trouble is a friend
Yeah trouble is a friend of mine

 

"Trouble is a Friend" is the perfect theme song for the PC/GM relationship. It may have first been released in 2008 (performed by Australian pop singer Lenka) and it may have been featured in some 2010 teen comedy film, but we here at NUELOW Games just discovered it. 

And, as stated above, the lyrics summarize the place a Game Master holds in the existence of player characters perfectly. The various videos for the song even capture it to some degree as well. 

First, here's the original version (with  a fan-made video). If the song is new to you, we're sure you'll agree with our take. And if it's not... well, we're sure you'll reevaluate the song in the light of our interpretation. (If you DON'T agree... well, that's what the comments section is for!)

The song was recently covered by The Cog is Dead. It's a nice version that brings to the forefront the darkness that permeates the deceptively fluffy sounding original version. (This was actually how we became aware of the tune, being fans of The Cog is Dead.)

Lenka even revisited her own song with an acoustic version, which is up next. There's no video clip with this one, but give it a listen. Close your eyes. Picture your favorite PC, enjoying a quiet day engaged with favorite pastime... and then a new campaign arc begins...

And we're going to close this round of "Trouble is a Friend of Mine" (The PCs & DMs Theme) with a highly unusual version. We think this may be the version you'd use for games run by L.L. Hundal--fun, but often more than just a little odd.

--

Okay, so here's one more version... a more elaborately produced video and a new recording/remix of the song, presumably for use in whatever that movie it was featured in was. We think Lenka's two earlier versions of the song are superior, but we adore this video because it really seems to bring our seeing "Trouble is a Friend" as the "Theme Song for Player Characters & Game Masters" into perfect focus--especially the bit where Lenka first dances with and then fights with Trouble.

From The Love Collection

In the early 1920s, Bessie Love was one of America's most popular movie stars, known for playing charming and energetic young women in everything from bizarre comedies to dark dramas. By 1925, however, her life became increasingly consumed with a secret battle against supernatural evil. (You can read the background details here.)

   Love acquired a number of magical artifacts during the 25 years she protected the unsuspecting world from darkness, which experts in the field of the occult and supernatural have dubbed the Love Collection. Today, we describe another two artifacts from the Love Collection. As is our habit, we also provide d20 System rules so you can use them in your games.

DIMOND'S COMPASS

Named for Edward Dimond, an American sorcerer and investigator of crimes who lived in 17th century Mass., at first glance this appears to be a malfunctioning compass with a magnetic needle that jerks from pointing in one direction to another without cause, which seems to point anywhere but North, and may even start spinning wildly without warning. It is rendered even more useless by the fact that what can be assumed to be the cardinal compass points are marked with curious symbols that are dissimilar to any earthly civilization, current or extinct. It radiates a faint aura of Divination magic.

   Although it bears his name, Dimond did not know where the compass came from. It was given to him as payment, when, as a young man, he proved a ships' captain innocent of murder by uncovering evidence that proved the merchant accusing him was the true killer. The seaman claimed he had found the compass in a ruined city, on an uncharted island that he had never been able to find his way back to since. Dimond carried it on his person from that day forward, as he believed it was imbued with a spirit of justice and that God had meant for him to have it and to guide him on his quests for truth. 

   Dimond's Compass passed through many hands before coming into the possession of Bessie Love; it was gifted to her, as it had been to Dimond, by a young werewolf whom she had proven innocent of murder in 1928 by exposing the witch who had been using magic to control him. All who have owned it have stated that it has either shown the way to great treasures, stores of lost knowledge, or evidence that exposes villains set on harming the innocent. 

   The fact is that Dimond's Compass can do all things those who have possessed it claim it can. It was created by Lemurian artificers, in the Time Before Time when the dark gods and their servants wrecked havoc across many planes.

   Using Dimond's Compass: A being must hold the compass in his or her left hand. It performs one of three functions related to directed the user to finding items, magical or mundane. All the would-be user has to do is hold the compass and focus his or her mind for one round one what he or she is seeking. The compass remains set by "default" on whatever it was last used for. It has a range of 3,200 feet, and if the object sought is not within range, the compass jerks between several directions, spins wildly for a moment, then stops. The compass cannot find items that are inside extra-dimensional spaces like a bag of holding. There is no limit to the number of times a character can try to use the compass to find the direction to an item. 

   The functions of Dimond's Compass are as follows:

   * Detect Magic: The compass points to the object or being with the most powerful magic aura or abilities within range that is closest to its current location. If there are multiple objects or beings within range, it prioritizes the closest item or being. (For example, the compass will point to a 3rd-level spellcaster over a 1st-level spellcaster; a +2 sword over a +1 sword; an artifact like the Silver Key over a +4 dagger, even if the dagger may seem more powerful if subjected to an analyze or detect magic spell; and a succubus over a 13th-level spellcaster. But if a man carrying a +1 amulet of protection is standing across the room, and a demonlord is across the street carrying the Sword of Dimensional Sundering, the compass will indicate the +1 amulet of protection.)  

   * Find Magic Portal: The compass points to the nearest magic portal within range. For the purpose of Dimond's Compass, a "magic portal" is a permanent gateway between one location and another, whether the remote location is 12 miles or 12 realities away. Such portals can appear to be doorways, pools of water, wells--anything that someone might pass through or dive into and emerge from.

   The compass locks onto the closest portal first, followed by the most powerful, so the indicated direction my change if the user is in an area where several portals are close together. (For example, the compass will prioritize a portal that takes those who pass through it to Valhalla over a portal that goes to Vermont if they are an equal instance from the user; but it will indicate a portal that goes to a place in the Dreamlands over a portal that can go to anyone of 100 locations depending on the will of whoever steps through it if the portal to the Dreamlands is closer.)

   The compass does not reveal any objects or command words that are needed to open a portal, or to control where it leads to if it has various destinations.

   * Locate Object: The user visualizes a general item or a a specific object that he or she is familiar with, has been described to him or her, or was an important part of an event with which the user is familiar, through personal experience or detailed witness accounts. The compass points unerringly in the direction of the nearest general item sought, or the location of the specific object. If the user is standing exactly above or below the item's location, the compass needle twitches, swings to the opposite cardinal point, twitches again, then swings back to the original direction. If the item moves out of the range of the compass, the needle begins spinning wildly, but it will indicate the correct direction again once the item is within range.

   Note: There is an overlap between the detect magic and find magic portal functions. The compass will detect a magic portal as a magic item if one is located nearby while it is trying to find magic items. Bessie Love never realized that Dimond's Compass could not distinguish between the two, as it's a weakness that rarely becomes a factor.

ASHER'S PEDESTAL

This artifact comes in two parts--a square pedestal made of lacquered oak and African blackwood that stands roughly four feet, and a two-foot-tall alabaster statuette of a handsome woman in ancient Egyptian garb and striking a twisted dance pose. Both the pedestal and statuette exude a strong Art Deco ascetic. 

   Asher's Pedestal was created by sculptor-turned-wouldbe-movie mogul Grayson Asher. He came to Hollywood in 1920 and began making movies featuring elaborate sets and costumes. Although not an attractive man, he was known for always having a starlet on each arm. He also had an uncanny ability for turning rivals and outright enemies into friends with surprising ease. The secret to his charm could be found in the pedestal and the alabaster statuettes he would display on it in his office at Asher Film Company.

   Asher's initial effort to get established in the film business was not as successful as he wanted--he had money, and skill as an artist, but he lacked charm, so he could not convince top talent to work for him. One night, the demon Orias appeared to Asher and showed him how he could have all the most talented men and women at his beck and call, as well as at his feet. In exchange for Asher's soul, he showed the demon showed him how to create and enchant Asher's Pedestal and the statuettes that function with it.

   The top of the pedestal contains a well-hidden secret compartment that is two square inches in size. The statuette also has a secret compartment, the opening to which is under the bottom of its base. When certain items belonging to a person are hidden respectively in the pedestal and in the statuette, and the statuette is placed on the pedestal, the person to whom the items belonged falls becomes infatuated with the person who hid the items. This infatuation can be developed into full-blown love and undying loyalty with even the smallest kindness or hint of returned affection. Even if the statuette is later removed from the pedestal, the person remains under the magical influence until the item tied to him or her are removed from the statuette and pedestal or the statuette is destroyed. The affection the enchanted victim felt gradually fades.

   It is possible to have multiple people under the sway of Asher's Pedestal. The pedestal's compartment can be packed full of small items, but each victim enchanted by the artifact must be represented by a statuette.

   In 1926, Asher tried to get Bessie Love to star in a big-budget, costume comedy set in Ancient Egypt. He wanted Bessie to play Cleopatra. The offer and the role both seemed attractive to Bessie, but as she looked into Asher and his personal life (as had become her habit since taking up her fight against supernatual menaces), she became suspicious: too many actors and crew associated with Asher's productions had either killed or tried to kill each other, or had suffered mental breakdowns. Her investigations let her to a chance confrontation with Asher in his office--as Dimond's Compass pointed her to the Pedestal and the dozen statuettes on display in his office--while he was meeting with the demon Orias. During the ensuing battle, most of Asher's statuettes were shattered and Asher himself killed. Orias claimed his soul as he lay dying, and Bessie rebuffed the demon's offer to pick up where Asher left off. She took Asher's Pedestal and the statuette that had been prepared to dominate her, and she added them to her collection of occult trophies and souvenirs. 

   Using Asher's Pedestal: Asher's Pedestal is used to subject targets to a permanent effect identical to the charm person or charm monster spell. The user must spend at least 10 minutes within 10 feet of the target, and manage to obtain a small object that they have carried on or close to their body for at least six hours at a time, as well as some of their hair, a nail-clipping, or some bodily fluid. The user must then create a statuette that represents the target. This statuette need not be a literal representation of the target, nor particularly skillfully made, but it must represent how its maker views the target on some level. It must be made with a compartment that can contain the hair or other part of the target, or the piece of the target can be incorporated directly into the statuette.

   The small item belonging to a target must be placed in the secret compartment in the Pedestal, and the statuette containing the actual part of the target's physical body must be put on top of the Pedestal. The magic is then activated, and the target must roll a successful saving throw (Will save DC28, magic resistance does not apply but any saving throw bonuses do). The saving throw must be re-rolled every day at sunset where the Pedestal is located until the character either fails it, or the statuette is removed from the Pedestal or is destroyed. Once the saving throw is failed, the target is subjected to a charm person or charm monster spell (whichever is appropriate for the target).

   The effects of the Pedestal remain permanent until the item belonging to the target is removed form the Pedestal or the statuette, the statuette is destroyed or moved more than 100 feet from the Pedestal. The target is freed from the enchantment and the feelings toward the user will gradually fade. If the removed statuette is once again put on the Pedestal, the target must once again make successful saving throws or come under the item's sway again.

   To locate the secret compartment in the Pedestal, searchers must make a successful DC18 Search skill check, or DC28 Spot skill check to notice the covering and figure out how to open it.)

   Drawbacks to Using the Pedestal: If a victim is kept ensorcelled for three months and/or at the point the third victim is put under a user's sway, Orias appears (in his favorite human form as a very handsome and fit black man) and informs the user that he must either release the target or allow Orias to corrupt them to serve his wishes. He promises the user that no harm will come to the victim--other than their soul may damned forever. If the user refuses, all enchantments immediately end and anyone who was under the sway of the Pedestal comes to hate the user deeply and with near-fanatical intensity.

   Destroying the Pedestal: No special requirements are needed to destroy this artifact.

--

If you enjoyed this post, you can encourage us to create more like it by giving us feedback in the comments section. And if you REALLY enjoyed it, you should consider getting some of the booklets we've released through NUELOW Games. It will encourage us to make more! One smart choice would For a Song and a Dance--which spotlights more of Bessie Love's trophies, among other things.)

Things Found in Walls

Whether intentionally or on purpose, part of a wall in the old house has been demolished, revealing a hidden space... and the secrets it contains. What are those secrets? Well, the following random tables can help GMs determine that, quickly providing ideas for what has been found and what adventure seeds may be planted with it.

Roll 2d6 and find the result on the table below, then roll 1d6 against the sub-table or sub-tables. (Of course, these tables can be used to determine items found anywhere.)


2d6       Things Found in Walls
2           A pair of black-lacquered chopsticks with silver inlay patterns on the
             handles that 1-2. when crossed on an empty plate, cause a tasty and
             filling meal to appear; 3-4. when put on a plate with food, causes the
             meal to become poisonous and cause those who consume it to die in
             severe agony within 1d3+1 hours; 5-6. open a puzzle box when one
             is inserted into its lid, and the other into its left side.

3          A hunting knife, wrapped in cheesecloth. It is 1-2. the key to solving a
            decades-old murder mystery; 3. haunted by the restless spirit of a
            woman murdered with it who wants to be avenged; 4. haunted by the
            spirit of a serial killer who will try to possess the person who retrieves
            the knife from its hiding place; 5-6. an enchanted weapon that does
            double damage against spellcasters and lycanthropes.

4          A battered high school geography book from the 1950s. When read 

            1. nothing happens; it's just an old book; 2-3. a hand-drawn map falls 

            out. A legend reads "The evidence of my sins is under Lincoln High"; 

            4-5. a map of Africa has been adjusted with handwritten notes, and 

            an additional hand-drawn detailed region is folded up within the 

            book, with a legend that reads "Amazons? Atlanteans?"; 6. the book 

            automatically flips to a map of  Argentina, and the reader and 

            everyone within a 30-foot radius in transported to a secret Nazi 

            hideaway there.

5          The skull of 1-2. a monkey, covered in occult symbols, engraved in 

            gold.; 3-4. a horned humanoid, engraved with the symbol of an Elder 

            God.; 5. a human baby, partially crushed.; 6. a human adult, partially 

            crushed.

               Additionally, the skull 1-2. is haunted by a vengeful spirit; 3-4. is a 

            key part of a ritual to commune with an Elder God; 5-6. is a key clue 

            in a series of cult-related murders.    

     

6          A leather suitcase with 1. $10,000 in currency; 2. $10,000 in currency,

            $100,000 in fake currency; 3. $15,000 in uncut diamonds, along with

            three phone numbers written on the back of a Denny's napkin; 

            4. A black ceramic sculpture of falcon, containing $10,000 in rubies 

            that are wrapped in red silk; 5. 13 15th century Spanish gold 

            doubloons that are cursed and give whoever claims them a streak of 

            catastrophic luck until he or she dies or has the curse lifted; 

            6. a famous painting by a Dutch Master that was stolen by Nazis

            and presumed destroyed during WW2.

7          A cache of documents that 1-2. reveals the existence of Immortals 

            and a secret war to control the fate of the universe; 3-4 describes 

            a world-wide demonic conspiracy; 5-6. provides solid evidence 

            that a now-powerful politician brutally murdered an entire family 

            when a young man. 

                The information in the documents is 1-3. true; 5-6. false.

8          A 19th century Ouija board and bejeweled planchette that 1-3 is 

            worth at least $2,400 to the right collector; 4-5. can unerringly 

            answer 1d6 "yes" and "no" questions up to three times per day, 

            which a written note on the back explains; 6. predicts that users will 

            die, and then subjects them to a deadly curse.

9          A mummified 1. human infant; 2. headless body of an adult male; 

            3. tangle of rats, their tales knotted together; 4. slender human 

            female with horns on her forehead and clawed hands; 5. pair of 

            adults--one male, one female--that were strangled with silk cords 

            that are still around their necks; 6. humanoid cat creature, wearing 

            bejeweled golden bracelets.

10        A small leather bag with 1. antique buttons, with $100 to the right 

            collector; 2. cut diamonds worth $5,000; 3. three modern house 

            keys; 4. three antique skeleton keys of different sizes; 5. A 

            mummified woman's hand, mounted on a stand with wicks 

            inserted into the fingers; 6. a round obsidian disk with razor-sharp 

            edges and the symbol of two different Elder Gods carved on it, a 

            different one on each side.

11        A hatchet that 1. has four symbols of the Elder Gods engraved on 

            its blade; 2. never misses demons when thrown at them; 3. does

            triple damage against the undead; 4. doubles the Strength bonus 

            of the person wielding or carrying it Strength bonus; 5. does double 

            damage against lycanthropes; 6. the wielder suffers the same
            damage that is inflicted on the target.

   

12        Roll two more times on the table. Both indicated results are found. 

            If 12 is rolled again, do not re-roll but treat as "no result." If 12 is
            rolled three times in a row, nothing is found in the wall but dusty
            cobwebs and rodent droppings..

The World of Starvania, Part Two

We're presenting a campaign setting over a few posts here at the blog. You can see the first one here.

THE WORLD OF STARVANIA: CHARACTER CREATION

Design & Editing: Steve Miller & L.L. Hundal

Artwork: Frank Godwin

This post covers the first steps in creating a Starvanian player character. As with most of our posts in these parts, this is geared toward d20 System games. The material here modifies and generally takes the place of the character creation methods featured in the rules system you are using. If something isn't addressed here, assume that whatever is printed in the character generation section of the main rules still holds.

  There are portions of this character generation method that are not usually randomized in d20 System games. DMs can allow players to review the Character Creation section and pick what the race and other traits they want their character to have. Given the ever-increasing obsession with issues of racial equality and representation and so on in non-existent places and imaginary among gamers, we included this random mechanic to underscore our viewpoint that a person's genetics/race is a completely random factor in how he or she turn out as a human being. Whether someone is a good person or a scumbag, a hero or a coward, has jack-all to do with "race" and everything to do with a person's character and the culture within which they were raised. (And even with culture, people are not slaves to their background.)

STEP ONE: Generate Ability Scores
Roll 4d6, ignoring the lowest die, six times. The result is six totals ranging from 3 to 18, and these are ultimately assigned as a character's attribute score (Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma) as the player chooses. For now, they should just be noted and set aside. We'll come back to them later.

STEP TWO: Determine the Character's Race

There are four Human races/subtypes in Starvania. Each has a mechanical bonus and penalty. Players roll randomly against the following table to determine their race. (There's a small chance that the player may roll Elf, Dwarf, or Witchkind. If those are not used in your campaign, the player should reroll.)

   We encourage players to use these random tables, but it's just as legitimate for GMs to allow players to simply pick the race (and attendant attribute modifiers) that reflect the character they want to play.

Table One: Player Character Races
1d100 Result       Player Character Race

001-030              Moronican. +2 Charisma, -1 Dexterity.

                           (See "Moronican Characters" below for more information.)

031-060              Salvian. +2 Strength, -1 Wisdom.

                           (See "Salvian Characters" below for additional information.)

061-070              Sketish. +2 Intelligence, -1 Charisma.

                           (See "Sketish Characters" below for additional information.)

071-085              Woovian. +2 Wisdom, -1 Strength.

                           (See "Sketish Characters" below for additional information.) 

086-093              Mixed. Roll on the "Table Two: Mixed Ancestry".)

094-095              Amazon (See Amazonian Characters" below for additional information.)

096-097              Elf. (See "Elf Characters" below for additional information.)
                           (If race not in use, roll on "Table Two: Mixed Ancestry.")
098-099              Dwarf. (See Dwarf Characters below for additional information.) 
                           (If race not in use, roll on "Table Two: Mixed Ancestry.")
100                    Witchkind. (If race not in use, roll on "Mixed Ancestry Table.")

Table Two: Mixed Ancestry

1d100 Results      Player Character Race

001-045               Moronican/Salvian. +1 Strength, +1 Charisma.
                            (001-050: See "Moronican Characters" for more
                             information; 051-100: See "Salvian Characters" for more
                             information.)
046-055               Moronican/Sketish. +1 Intelligence, +1 Charisma.
                            (001-050: See "Moronican Characters" for more
                              information; 051-100: See "Sketish Characters" for more
                              information.)
056-070               Moronican/Woovian. +1 Charisma, +1 Wisdom.
                            (001-050: See "Moronican Characters" for more
                              information; 051-100: See "Woovian Characters" for more
                              information.)

071-080               Salvian/Sketish. +1 Strength, +1 Intelligence.

                            (001-050: See "Salvian Characters for more information.)

                             051-100: See "Sketish Characters" for more information.)

081-090               Salvian/Woovian. +1 Strength, +1 Wisdom.

                            (001-050: See "Salvian Characters" for more information;

                             051-100: See "Woovian Characters" for more information.)

091-095               Sketish/Woovian. +1 Intelligence, +1 Wisdom.

                            (001-050: See "Sketish Characters" for more information;

                             051-100: See "Woovian Characters" for more information.)
096-097              Multi-Racial. +1 Strength, +1 Constitution, +1 Wisdom.
                           (001-050: See "Salvian Characters" for more information;
                            051-100: See "Woovian Characters" for more information.)
098-099              Multi-Racial. +1 Dexterity, +1 Intelligence, +1 Charisma.
                           (001-050: See "Moronican Characters" for more information;
                            051-100: See "Sketish Characters" for more information.)
100                     Multi-Racial. No race-based attribute modifiers.
                           (001-025: See "Moronican Characters" for more information;
                            026-050: See "Salvian Characters" for more information;
                            051-75: See "Sketish Characters" for more information;

                            076-100: See "Woovian Characters" for more information.)

STEP THREE: Apply Ability Score Modifiers
Apply the appropriate adjustments to the attributes generated in Step One. Record them on the character sheet.

STEP FOUR: Determine the Character's Sex, Gender, and Sexuality
Like race, a person's sex is a random quirk of Fate. Like the tables for race, we provide them here for players to randomly generate their characters' sex and gender.
    Players roll 1d10 against the following tables. While we encourage their use, GMs may allow players to just decide what their characters sex and gender is. Finally, if GM and players don't want to deal with things like genders and sexual preference, they can just stop at determining the character's 

Table Three: What is the Character's Sex?
1d10 Result    Sex
1-5.                 Female
6-10.               Male

Table Five: What is the Character's Gender?
1d10 Result    Gender
1-4.                 Female
5-6.                 Fluid (The player can choose/switch the character's gender
                       during any relevant situation.)
7-10.               Male

Table Six: What Does the Character Present As?
1d10 Result    Apparent Gender
1.4.                Female
5-6.                Fluid. (The character is equally comfortable in the
                      dress and roles of either gender.)
7-10.              Male

Table Seven: What is the Character's Sexual Preference?
1d10 Result   Sexual Preference
1-6.                You prefer relations with the sex opposite your own.
7.                    Bi-sexual, with leanings toward the sex opposite
                       your own.
8.                    Bi-sexual, with leanings toward the sex same as your
                       own.
9.                    Bi-sexual, with no particular preference whatsoever.
10.                  You prefer relations with the sex same as your own.

Next Up: The Character Creation Rules Continue
(Coming Soon...)

The World of Starvania, Part One

Welcome to a new post series/project. How long it will be, or if it will ever be completed is anyone's guest. No one can be sure how often posts will show up, either. It's being started on the spur of the moment, and despite the fact that time could be spent on more serious projects.

This first post is just going to be a little background on the setting. The second post will be some player character generation rules with additional setting information. The third post will be more character generation rules, with more setting information. (If this gets that far...)

And now... we bring you The World of Starvania!

THE WORLD OF STARVANIA: A CAMPAIGN SETTING

Design and Editing: Steve Miller

Based on "Starvania" by Felix Adler & Clyde Bruckman

A BRIEF HISTORY OF STARVANIA
In the beginning, the land of Starvania was ruled by cruel, alien gods from the Stars, foremost among them being Yog-Sogoth. Then a band of heroes banished those dark entities and the Age of Man dawned.
   For countless millennia, the peoples of Starvania warred against each other, building up and tearing down civilizations and generally rampaging back and forth across the landscape to prove who was superior and who deserved to rule others. The wars were on racial, ethnic, or national lines--and often a mixture or all three at the same time. The biggest animosity existed between the Salvians and the Moronicans, the two most populous races in Starvania. The less numerous Woovians and Skets could try to keep their heads down, or join with one side or the other... whatever they needed to do to keep what little life and liberty they could hang onto.

   Then, 654 years ago, the mighty bard-king Froot deLoom of Moronica succeeded in his life-long quest to unite all the peoples of Starvania in a shared love of beer-battered fish-sticks and accordion music. By the time King Froot passed the reins of power onto his eldest daughter, Loup, these cultural touchstones had become the foundation of a golden age of peace and prosperity.  

   This union of once-warring nations eventually came to be loosely governed by an elected parliament led a mostly ceremonial prime minister who, by law and tradition, had to be the current reigning monarch of  Moronica. Under the banner of Starvania, the people lived and worshiped and worked and played, in peace and equality, side by side. Nonetheless, discontent bubbled below the surface in some parts of the union. 

   For centuries, the citizens of the Isle of Cork and Great Mittens had resented Moronicans in general, but specifically those from the states of Moronica and Cast Toria. The islands had been settled by Salvians fleeing Moronican oppression two thousand years ago, but the waters around them had always been controlled by the Moronicans; the islanders have, ironically, never been great ship-builders but they have always excelled at sinking them. 

   Mainland Salvians felt great solidarity with their island-dwelling cousins. They had long insisted that control of the Corkscrew Straights and the Hot Sea, as well as all ports and harbors on the coasts, be surrendered to their exclusive controls. With the exception of some merchants and industrialists, and a minority of islanders who felt Salvians were superior in all ways to other Starvanians, the islanders in general didn't care terribly that the ports were controlled by Moronicans. But, this majority usually just let the radicals rant and rave, because nothing would come of their antics because no sensible person would listen to them. 

But five years ago, the Salvian Unity Party weaponized the simmering resentment in the loud minority and their allies elsewhere in Starvania. Using the rationale that the Moronicans had for too long denied the Salvians their birthrights of controlling Starvanian seas and harbors, they orchestrated a coup and overthrew King Herman of Moronica. A charismatic, but dimwitted, army corporal-turned-interior decorator named Moe Heilstone was named Grand Leader of Starvania, and any members of parliament and local governments that didn't swear allegiance to him specifically were at best hounded from office but more often than not imprisoned.

   Unsurprisingly, the people of Starvania tried to fight back against the overthrow of their government and the 600-year peace came to an end; even the Salvian-majority state of Bulge-Area . Also unsurprisingly, since the Salvians, both islanders and mainlanders, have long made up the majority of Starvanian armed forces, the rebellious states were swiftly subdued (but often with a great cost of life and property). Surprisingly, especially to Heilstone and his loyal supporters, the citizens of Great Mittens and the Isle of Cork did not accept him as their Grand Leader, but instead sent a steady stream of insults his way, declared themselves the home of the true Starvania and set up a Parliament-in-Exile with King Herman's youngest daughter, Princess Maddie as its ceremonial prime minister. 

By Jamie Patterson

CURRENT DAY STARVANIA

Grand Leader Heilstone rules mainland Starvania with an iron fist, ensconced in his palace where the states of Moronica, Jug o' Salvia, and Staywayoff share borders. His troops and paramilitary forces are everywhere, and his secret police and informants lurk among the population, looking for anyone who might express even the slightest negative views of him and his government; when found, such people are swiftly arrested and anyone who failed to report their treasonous thoughts risks the same fate. King Herman and his family (aside from Princess Maddie) remain under house arrest in their ancenstral castle, high on the cliffs above the Lake of Loons in Moronica.

   All across Starvania, groups of rebels fight either against Heilstone's secret police, his army, or foreign troops who have been sent to the region from distant lands with whom the dictator has made alliances. Some even find themselves fighting threats from other worlds, because mystics and cultists on both sides of the the battle for Starvania's future have been setting about harnessing the power of the ancient gods that once held sway over the lands, hoping to use it to destroy their foes. So far, all anyone has managed to do is unleash demons upon the land, turn the population of villagers into zombies, and attract the attention of outside threats that hadn't been present in Starvania for 1,000 years. 

   Great Mittens and the Isle of Cork has so far been able to repel all attempts to force them to join Heilstone's Starvania. Although they have been joined in their by powerful allies--including a rumored ancient dragon--it is unclear how long they will be able to hold out. So far, they have resisted the temptation to seek power from the Elder Gods, but the calls to do so are getting louder...

   Things are growing evermore bleak in Starvania. The people's suffering grows greater with each passing day. Now is the time for heroes....

Next Up: Some Rules for Creating Starvanian Player Characters!

(Coming Soon)

The Amulet of Leng (for the d20 System)

Scattered across the world, are many artifacts that are legacies of ancients gods who ruled over long-dead civilizations in bygone eras; or that have been carried here from other dimensions by the dread beings that dwell in them. One such item, which was stolen from the Dreamlands by the Witchkind, and which many have sought because they either wish to harness its power or to return it from whence it came, is the Amulet of Leng.

THE AMULET OF LENG (for the d20 System)

Carved from a piece of green jade, this circular amulet is roughly four inches across and half an inch thick. It is usually found attached to a leather thong or sturdy silver chain so that it can be worn around a being's neck.

    The front side of the Amulet of Leng features a winged, sphinx-like creature with face that combines both human and wolf-like features; the eyes and forehead human, but the nose and mouth are snout-like and vicious fangs protrude from it. The back of the amulet is engraved with the image of a humanoid skull with an abnormally large cranium. Beneath that image are three symbols that appear vaguely Chinese in origin, but the meaning of which can only be discovered through magic (such as a read languages spell) or a Arcane Lore / Knowledge (Arcane) skill check against a DC22 for each of the three symbols. (From left to right, the symbols mean Time, Immortality, and Annihilation.)

   If examined through means that reveals magical properties of an item (via spell or devices), the Amulet of Leng registers a strong aura of protection and summoning enchantments. Its exact functions cannot be determined through any means short of a wish spell, or by direct communication with a god-like being.

Powers

When claimed and then worn by a sentient being, the Amulet of Leng provides the following protections to the wearer.

   * Immunity to aging, from natural or magical sources

   * Complete immunity to damage from all blunt or edged weapons, as well as missiles and falling damage. (Natural weapons, such as claws and fangs, are not covered by this effect.)

   * 50 percent reduction of damage suffered from spells and other magical sources.

   * 25 percent reduction of damage suffered from natural environmental sources, such as vacuum, extreme heat and extreme cold.

Drawbacks

The Amulet of Leng only bestows its magical protection on characters who have claimed it as their own, either by receiving it as a gift, purchasing it, stealing it for their own use, or looting it for their own use. The protections gained from Amulet of Leng only last for as long as it is worn. Once removed, the wearer once again ages at the normal rate, suffers full damage from attacks, and so on. 

   The great benefits of the Amulet of Leng are outweighed by hidden dangers. They are as follows.

   * Every time the wearer goes to sleep, he or she has dreams of large wolf-like creatures, apparently made partially of flames, roaming an alien landscape dotted with ruined towers. The character feels like the creatures are searching--hunting--for something. As time passes and dreams continue, the character in the dream comes to the realization that they are looking for the Amulet of Leng. The character must roll a successful Fortitude Save (DC15) upon waking, or be fatigued during the day (per the Condition). Spells may be memorized or recovered as normal.
   * The GM keeps a running total of how much damage the character would have suffered if he or she had not been wearing the Amulet of Leng. Once that damage is equals or exceeds an amount that would have killed the character, the character is filled with a sudden, paralyzing fear and cannot take any more actions that round. He or she must roll a successful Will save (DC22), or be set upon by 1d3+1 Hellhounds (with maximum possible hit points)--the Hounds of Tindalos.
   The Hounds emerge from different corners in whatever area the character is in, one at a time in successive rounds until all our present. Each Hellhound rolls initiative on the round it arrives, and attacks the wearer of the Amulet. They only attack other characters if they come to the defense of their target. (If the character is outside, the Hounds emerge from angles made by branches, rocks on the ground, or other natural conditions.)
   If the wearer survives the attack of the Hounds, the Amulet is "reset" and the GM starts a new running total of hit points avoided. The new tally starts at -10, so the character can suffer "free" damage.
   If the wearer does not survive the attack, one of the Hounds tries to grab the Amulet with its fiery jaws and tear it from around the wearer's neck, but as soon as it and other Hounds dissolve into wisps of smoke and seem to evaporate. The Amulet of Leng remains with the mangled corpse.
   * When the character who has claimed and worn the Amulet of Leng takes it off, he or she must roll a Will save (DC18). He or she is filled with a sudden, indescribable dread and hears the sound of wolves howling in the distance. No one else can hear this sound.
   If the saving throw was successful, the character instinctively knows that unless he or she puts the Amulet of Leng back on, certain death is coming. If he or she does not put the Amulet back on within two rounds, 1d3+1 Hounds of Tindalos arrive and attack as described above. If he or she puts the Amulet back on, he or she hears a mournful wolf-howl fading into the distance.
   If the saving throw failed, the character is paralyzed with overwhelming fear for 1d2+1 rounds. Hounds of Tindalos begin to arrive at the end of first round and attack as described above. They continue to arrive, one at a time on successive rounds to a maximum of 8, until the possessor of the Amulet is dead, or until someone has put it on. If the possessor dies without wearing the Amulet, a Hound snatches it up and takes it with it when the Hounds dissolve into smoke and vanish.
   If the possessor of the Amulet of Leng took it off and survives the attack of the Hounds, he or she is free of the Amulet's magic... at least until he or she decides to wear it again.

Safely Removing the Amulet of Leng

A character can only safely remove the Amulet of Leng while submerged in the legendary Pool of All. While submerged, the character must make a Fortitude save (DC22). 

   If the save is successful, the character has a vision of a shadow-draped figure that offers him or her the opportunity to join the ranks of the Immortals or to leave the Pool as he or she entered, but free of the Amulet's magic. Whether the character chooses to be transformed and become an Immortal or not, he or she emerges with the Amulet of Leng in hand and free of its magic. 

   If the save fails, the character is transformed into an Immortal, as per the regular effects of the Pool of All, but is still liberated from the Amulet of Leng.

Destruction

While on this plane, the Amulet of Leng cannot be destroyed. It must be returned to the Dreamlands from whence it was stolen. Once there, it can be shattered with an magical weapon with a +1 or better enchantment.

--
The text from the "Powers" heading" through the end of the section labeled "Destruction" is released under the Open Game License. It may be reproduced in accordance with its terms. Copyright 2020 Steve Miller.

Feats for Feet!

Here are some feats for characters who are light on their feet! (The text in this post is released under the Open Game License and it may be reproduced in accordance with its terms. Copyright 2020 Steve Miller.)

… BUT DON'T FALL DOWN [General]
You're hard to knock and keep off your feet..
   Prerequisite: Dexterity 15
   Benefit: If you fail an attribute check to resist a trip attempt, you may roll a Reflex saving throw (DC14) to avoid being tripped. Further, standing up from a prone position is a free action. 
   Normal: Standing is normally a move-equivalent action.

BACKWARDS AND IN HEELS [Ninja Cutie, Sister of Bastet]

Not only do high heels not slow you down, they make you deadlier!
   Prerequisite: 3rd level, Dex 14, Cha 14
   Benefit: When wearing high heels, except for stiletto heels, the character gains a +2 bonus to all the following skills: Balance, Bluff, Climb, Jump, Move Silently, and Perform (dance).

BACKWARDS AND IN STILETTO HEELS [Ninja Cutie, Sister of Bastet]
Whether you have them on your feet or in your hands, you make stiletto-heeled shoes as dangerous as the knife they are named for.
   Prerequisite: Backwards and in Heels feat
   Benefit: When wearing stilettos, you gain a +2 bonus to Diplomacy and Intimidation skill checks. Additionally, you wield a stiletto as a melee weapon that deals a based damage of 1d6 points.

   Special: When this feat is selected, the character automatically gains Exotic Melee Weapon Proficiency (stiletto heel shoe) as a bonus feat. Additionally, the character can wield two stiletto-heeled shoes at once without any penalties if she possesses the Two-Weapons Fighting feat.

DANCING QUEEN [Fast Hero, Bard, Fighter, Rogue]

You can dance, you can fight!

   Prerequisite: Perform [dance] 2 ranks

   Benefit: The character practices mixed martial arts. Add 1/2 of the character's ranks (round down) in the Perform [dance] skill to all melee attack rolls.

FEETS DON'T FAIL ME NOW [General]
Running away is something you're good at.
   Prerequisite: Run, Dexterity 13
   Benefit: You are not subject to attacks of opportunity, nor flanking attacks, nor loss of Dexterity bonuses, when retreating from melee combat or other situations where they might occur, so long as you are moving at your base speed or higher.

(Thanks to L.L. Hundal for these!)