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| HoHo the Clown in Happier Times (like the ones before she was murdered) |
Roll 1d12 against the tables below to randomly generate a murder mystery adventure outline for your campaign.
WHERE WAS SHE FOUND?
1. In a crate of uninflated balloons.
2. Stuffed into a clown car.
3. Inside the illusionist's "vanishing lady" trick box.
4. On the playground.
5. In the mailroom of a high-rise building of luxery condos.
6. At home, in her bedroom.
7. At home, in her shower.
8. In the sauna at the health club.
9. In the alley behind a seedy nightclub
10. In the cemetery.
11. On the beach.
12. In the pool at the bank president's home.
HOW WAS SHE KILLED?
1. Hanged.
2. Stabbed.
3. Choked by a balloon animal forced down her throat.
4. Garrotted.
5. Suffocated.
6. Strangled.
7. Multiple blows to the head.
8. One blow to the head.
9. Shot once through the back of the head.
10. Shot once in the chest.
11. Shot 1d4+1 times.
12. Drowned. (Roll an additional 1d12 to see what kind of water she drowned in. 1-3. Chlorinated Water, 4-6. Salt Water. 7-9. Soapy Bathwater, 10-12. Fresh Water.)
WHO KILLED HER? (This is also a list of suspects.)
1. The Retired Clown.
2. The Up-and-Coming Clown.
3. The Illusionist (for whom she had once been an assistant).
4. Her Male Lover. (Roll an additional 1d12. 1-6 it’s her ex-lover.)
5. Her Female Lover. (Roll an additional 1d12. 1-6 it’s her ex-lover.)
6. Her Estranged Relative (Roll an additional 1d12 to determine which relative; she was estranged from her entire family. 1-2. Father, 3-4. Mother, 5-6. Brother, 7-8. Sister, 9-10. Uncle, 11-12. Aunt.)
7. Her College Drama Instructor.
8. The Bank President.
9. The Television Producer.
10. The Human Trafficker.
11. The Baptist Minister.
12. Killjoy the Demon Clown.
WHY WAS SHE KILLED?
1. So she couldn’t reveal a dark secret to the world. (Roll on WHAT IS THE DARK SECRET table.)
2. To protect the killer’s dark secret. (Roll on WHAT IS THE DARK SECRET table.)
3. To protect a secret organization.
4. Shame.
5. Jealousy.
6. Revenge.
7. Hatred.
8. Lust.
9. To stop her plan to open a clown-themed strip club.
10. As a sacrifice to Killjoy the Demon Clown.
11. It was an accident. The killer and the clown were engaged in a weird sex game that went horribly wrong. (Roll an additional 1d12 to determine the identity of the killer. 1-3 the Up-and-Coming Clown; 4-6 her Male Lover; 7-9 her Female Lover, 10-12. the Baptist Minister. The person originally indicated as the killer helped move the body--if the location and the method by which HoHo was killed don't line up--or otherwise helped cover up and serve as the killer's alibi. If the person she was having sex with is the same person as indicated here, the killer acted alone.)
12. Roll again on this table. Both reasons apply for why she was killed. Ignore repeated results.
WHAT IS THE DARK SECRET?
1. She had discovered that several of her fellow clowns were part of cult dedicated to Killjoy the Demon Clown. Roll on WHO KILLED HER to determine who is the cult's leader. If it’s a different person than the killer, both characters are involved with the cult, but the leader might not know who the murderer is, or even why HoHo was killed.
2. HoHo was part of a cult that worshipped Killjoy the Demon Clown. She was killled to prevent her from performing the ritual that would make her displace Batty Boop in the Demon Clown Ranks.
3. A terrorist and kidnapping-for-ransom cell is using party clowns to identify targets, and HoHo discovered this. Roll on WHO KILLED HER to determine who is in charge of this evil enterprise. If it’s a different person than the killer, both characters are involved, but the leader might not know who the murderer is or why HoHo was killed.
4. She uncovered a plot to drive clowns insane using poisoned greasepaint. Roll on WHO KILLED HER to determine who is in charge of this evil enterprise. If it’s a different person than the killer, both characters are involved in the ring, but the leader might not know who the murderer is.
5. The Human Trafficker is using circuses to transport victims, and HoHo was killed to stop her from revealing the enterprise. Roll on WHO KILLED HER to determine who is in charge of this evil enterprise. If it’s a different person than the killer, both characters are involved, but the leader might not know who the murderer is or why HoHo was killed.
6. The Baptist Minister has a homosexual clown fetish, and HoHo was killed to put an end to her blackmailing him. The killer identified on the WHO KILLED HER table committed the murder on behalf of the Baptist Minister--with his full knowledge.
7. The Bank President raped her as a teenager and she was going to go public. The killer identified on the WHO KILLED HER table committed the murder on behalf of the Bank President--with his full knowledge.
8. She was going to reveal the Illusionists secrets on a TV special. The killer identified on the WHO KILLED HER table committed the murder on behalf of the Illusionist--with his full knowledge. If the killer is the TV Producer, HoHo was killed because she backed out of revealing the Illusionist's secrets.
10. She found the long lost wreck of a Spanish galleon while skindiving in the Carribean. The killer murdered her to keep the entire treasure .
11. Her 1-4 Estranged Mother, 5-8 Male Lover, 9-12 College Drama Instructor is a Russian assassin, and his or her secret had to be protected.
12. Roll twice on this table. The two results are intertwined in one monstrous conspiracy. Ignore repeated results and roll again.
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This random murder mystery contains completely and totally unauthorized references to Full Moon's demonic clown characters from the Killjoy movie series. My apologies to Full Moon and Charles Band if they take offense. (Click here to read more about the films featuring Killjoy, Batty Boop, and the rest of the demonic clown gang at the Charles Band Collection.)
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