And its text is presented under the Open Game License, so you can republish it accordingly. Copyright Steve Miller 2018.
MOM VOICE [General]
You can make people knock that crap off with just a few words.
Prerequisite: Mom
Benefit: Roll a Bluff or Intimidate skill check. All beings with an Intelligence of 3 or higher must roll Will saves with a target equal to your skill check +6. Those who fail the saving throw must immediately stop whatever they're doing for a number of rounds equal to your Charisma bonus, during which time you may attempt to reason with them using Diplomacy or Bluff.
Those who save against the Mom Voice suffer a -2 penalty to attack rolls and skill checks for a number of rounds equal to your Charisma bonus. If they attack a target who didn't save, the target may attack back with the same -2 penalty.
All initiatives must be re-rolled at the beginning of the round following the use of Mom Voice.
Special: Targets of the Mom Voice must be able to hear the user, but they do not need to understand the words spoken; the tone is universal.
How this collection of artifacts came into existence is unknown. They were first documented by paranormal investigator Marion K. Bassett when she was hired to inventory the belongings of occultist Ulysses Sheltner. Like most of the magical items that had been owned by Sheltner, they were stolen soon thereafter. The whereabouts of the artifacts are currently unknown.
CUFFLINKS OF PRESTIDIGITATION
This matched set of gold cufflinks, engraved with the initials U.S., give the wearer a +2 bonus to all Open Locks and Sleight of Hand skill checks, as well as a +1 bonus to all other Dexterity checks that involved manipulating small items and delicate equipment or machinery.
DIAMOND RING OF PERCEPTION
This broad, gold pinky ring with a diamond inset gives the wearer a +2 bonus to all Search and Spot skill checks.
FAT WALLET
This bulging alligator skin billfold increases the Wealth score of the person carrying it by 2.
POCKET WATCH OF TIMELINESS
This ornate pocket watc--with a flip-cover that sports a highly styalized pentagram and a face featuring small roman numerals--is on a 10-inch gold chain that must be fastened to an item of the character's clothing. When the watch on the chain is spun rapidly in a clockwise direction for a round, it puts the wearer under the effects of a haste spell for six rounds. When spun rapidly in a counter-clockwise direction, all other creatures within a 12-foot radius must roll Will saves of be subjected to the effects of a Slow spell for six rounds. The watch can only evoke a magical effect once every 12 hours, but it tells perfect time.
STICK PIN OF PERSONALITY
This golden stick pin has a small ruby in a sunburst-themed housing at its top. It provies the wearer with a +2 bonus to all Charisma-based skill checks.
The stick pin also can be used as an improvised weapon that deals a base of 1 point piercing damage. For purposes of resistances, it is a +1 weapon.
TOP COAT OF PROTECTION
This black overcoat grants the wearer a +1 bonus to Defense Rating, as well as a +2 bonus to all Fortitude saves made against damage from any elemental source (like the fireball or ice storm spells).
Marlon Booker had never met a sport he didn't like and didn't engage in at least once. He skied and swam and bike-raced and played hockey and basketball and soccer and baseball, and so on and so forth. His claim to fame, though, were marathons and triathlons, and everyone felt he was guaranteed to win the Guardian City Triathlon and thus the greatest completion of his life.
But on the eve of the big event, he was found dead.
Can the heroes discover who killed the triathlete in this randomly generated mystery adventure?
WHERE WAS HE FOUND? 1. Floating in the lake. 2. In the high school gymnasium. 3. In the stadium parking lot. 4. In the strip club. 5. Outside the headquarters of the sports apparel manufacturer. 6. Outside his coach's home. 7. In his main competitor's living room. 8. In his bedroom. 9. In his shower. 10. In his living room. 11. In the doctor's office. 12. In the alley behind the health club.
HOW WAS HE KILLED? 1.Drug Overdose. 2. Heart attack (induced with an undetectable drug). 3. Stabbed 1d12 times. 4. Shot 1d6 times. 5. Hanged. 6. Suffocated. 7. Hit by a car. 8. Bludgeoned to death with a sports trophy. 9. Choked on Speedo swimwear forced down his throat.
10. Beaten to death with his bicycle. 11. His organs were harvested, his blood drained. 12. Garroted.
WHO KILLED HIM? 1. His Coach. 2. His Main Competitor 3. The Sports Company Ad Executive. 4. The High School Science Teacher. 5. The High School Cheerleader. 6. The Sports Reporter 7. The Conspiracy Theorist. 8. The Retired Marine. 9. The Cultist. 10. His Wife (1-6. Current, 7-12. Former). 11. His Physician. 12. Roll two more times on this table. Ignore and re-roll results of 12. The first result is being framed for murder. The second result is the actual killer.
WHY WAS HE KILLED? 1. Jealousy. 2. Hatred. 3. For the Life Insurance Money. 4. Revenge. 5. Extremely Unhealthy Competition. 6. To Protect a Loved One. 7. To Prevent a Scandal. 8. To Preserve the Existence of an Evil Secret Society. (Roll 1d12. 1-3. He was a member; 7-12. He was not a member but learned of its existence.) 9. Because he was going to expose the murderer's dark secret. (Roll on the What is the Dark Secret table to find out what it was.) 10. Because was going to tell the world about his dark secret, and the murderer wanted him silenced. (Roll on the What is the Dark Secret table to find out what it was.) 11. It was part of a larger cover-up. (Roll on the What is the Dark Secret table to determine what is being covered up. Roll three times on the Who Killed Him table, ignoring results of 12. The killer and the indicated characters are involved in the cover up.) 12. Roll two more times on this table. Ignore and re-roll results of 12. WHAT IS THE DARK SECRET? 1. Teachers at the local high school are grooming cheerleaders and student athletes for nefarious purposes. (Roll a d12 to find out what: 1-3. Indoctrination into a demonic cult, 4-6. Recruitment into a secret super assassin training program, 7-9. Vessels for alien minds, 10-12. Sex slaves.) 2. Teachers are dealing drugs to the students at the local high school. 3. A teacher at the local high school is having an affair. (Roll d12 to determine with whom: 1-4. The triathlete, 5-6. The Cheerleader, 7-9. The Science Teacher, 10-12. The Sports Company Ad Executive.) 4. A High School Cheerleader who apparently died in an accident was murdered to cover up the fact that (1-4. he, 5-12 she) was assaulted and raped. 5. The Physician has been testing experimental steroids on his patients without their knowledge or permission. 6. Aliens are using the local health club as a source of bodies to transfer the minds of their overlords into. 7. The Triathlete was a secret agent. (Roll 1d12 to determine who he was working for. 1-3. A CIA assassin, 4-6. Russian intelligence agent sent to undermine US society and unity, 7-9. US Marine in secret task force devoted to stopping a hidden alien invasion, 10-12. Enforcer for a cult devoted to bringing about the end of the world). 8. The Sports Company Ad Executive is inserting subliminal mind-control messages into his company's marketing materials. (Roll 1d12 to determine who he was working for. 1-3. The Russians, 4-6. The Iranians, 7-9. Aliens., 10-12. The Illuminati.) 9. The Triathlete and his murderer are superhuman because: (Roll 1d12 to determine the reason. 1-4. They were the product of a secret genetic engineering program, 5-8. The are human/alien hybrids, 9-12. They are literally the spawns of Satan--part human, part fallen angel. 10. A cult is performing rituals designed to open the Gates of Hell under the high school. 11. An artificial, undetectable endurance enhancer is being provided to athletes, but long-term use drives them insane. 12. Roll twice on this table, ignoring and re-rolling any results of 12. Both dark secrets were contributing factors to the Triathlete's murder.
She told top movie stars and pop musicians which projects to pursue, she spoke to the spirits about the afterlife and the future... but she didn't foresee her own murder!
Zaynah, Clairvoyant to the Stars, has been killed, and it's up to the player characters to discover who did it and why in this randomly generated murder mystery!
WHERE WAS SHE FOUND?
1. In a woodland grove, deep within a National Park.
2. In the celebrity chef's personal vegetable garden.
3. In the bedroom of a rival psychic.
4. In her bedroom.
5. In the parlor where she conducted her psychic readings.
6. In the shower at the gym.
7. On the altar at the cathedral.
8. Outside the state attorney's home.
9. In the famous director's pool.
10. In the VIP lounge at a hot night club (and rumored organized crime front)
11. In the ally next to a police station.
12. On the beach.
HOW WAS SHE KILLED?
1. Strangled.
2. Beaten to death.
3. Stabbed.
4. Throat Slit.
5. Choked by Tarot cards shoved violently down her throat. (Roll 1d12 to see where the Tarot deck came from. 1-4. Her own Tarot cards. 5-8; Tarot cards belonging to a rival psychic; 9-12. An antique deck of Tarot cards that once belonged to a notorious devil worshiper.)
6. Skull bashed in with a crystal ball. (Roll 1d12 to see where the crystal ball came from. 1-4. Her own crystal ball; 5-8. A crystal ball belonging to a rival psychic; 9-12. A prop crystal ball from a horror movie.)
7. Drowned. (Roll 1d12 for the kind of water in her lungs. 1-4. Sea Water; 5-8. Chlorinated Pool Water; 9-12. Fresh Water.)
8 Shot 1d6 times.
9. Hanged.
10. Poisoned.
11. Impaled on an ancient spear with a tip made from a stag's antler and coated with juiced wolfsbane.
12. Roll two more times on this table, ignoring additional results of 12. She was killed by both methods. If the same result is rolled twice, the killer was particularly thorough and brutal.
WHO KILLED HER?
1. The up-and-coming 1-4 actor; 5-8 actress; 9-12. singer.
2. The has-been 1-4 actor; 5-8 actress; 9-12. singer.
3. The hot 1-3. actor; 4-6 actress; 7-8 singer; 9-12. director.
4. The television executive.
5. The celebrity chef.
6. The screen writer.
7. The priest.
8. Her lover. (Roll 1d12 to see status. 1-6. Current; 7-12. Former.)
9. The private detective.
10. The crimelord.
11. The rival psychic.
12. Roll two more times on this table, ignoring additional results of 12. The first result is the murderer. The second result is being framed as the murderer.
WHY WAS SHE KILLED?
1. Hatred
2. Jealousy
3. She spurned the murderer's romantic advances.
4. She was blackmailing the murderer. (Roll on WHAT WAS THE DARK SECRET to see what she knew.)
5. The murderer feared she had discovered his or her dark secret through her psychic powers.
6. She was the latest victim of a serial killer targeting psychics. (If the Rival Psychic isn't the murderer, he will be murdered in 1d3 days if the characters don't crack the case before then.)
7. The murderer was angry over a bad reading she gave.
8. The murderer wanted to make sure she never revealed her dark secret to anyone. (Roll on WHAT WAS THE DARK SECRET to see what it was.)
9. She was going to tell the murderer's spouse about the affair he or she was having. (Roll on the WHO KILLED HER table to determine who the murderer was having the affair with. Ignore rolls that duplicate the killer; if 12 is rolled, the killer was having multiple affairs.)
10. Revenge.
11. Greed.
12. For a ritual that required she be sacrificed to an evil god so that the murderer would gain her powers of Second Sight. (Roll 1d12. 1-4. The murderer is insane and there is no evil god; 5-8. The murderer gained her psychic powers and uses them in an attempt to avoid being caught by the party; 9-12. The evil god tricked the murderer, because the psychic was a fraud.
WHAT WAS THE DARK SECRET?
1. The big entertainment companies are infiltrated and mostly run by demon worshipers and actual demons, and they are using their products to spread corrupting magic around the world.
2. She was finishing a tell-all book about sexual harrassers and rapists in the entertainment business, and she was going to identify them all by name.
3. The psychic was selling information gleaned during her readings to tabloids and rival studios and recording companies.
4. She was preparing a ritual that would have opened the literal Gates of Hell and give Earth to Satan, but had a change of heart.
5. Her 1-4 Husband, 5-8 Male Lover, 9-12 Female Lover is a Russian agent devoted to disrupted US society through popular media, and his or her secret had to be protected. (The Russian agent may not even know that she was murdered to protect him or her.)
6. She was the heiress to a massive fortune, but was abducted as a young child. Her identity had been traced, and she was killed by those who have been benefitting from what should have been hers.
7. She not only told fortunes, but she also took money to cast curses that ruined careers and ended lives.
8. She was helping the government build cases against a variety of criminals who provided her clients with services.
9. She was once raped by the murderer, and she had decided to go public.
10. She was the literal daughter of Satan, but she refused to embrace her heritage and assume leadership of his servants.
11. She was the literal daughter of Satan and was about to help the Anti-Christ come to power.
12. She and the Rival Psychic were actually business partners who exchanged information on each other's clients and sold trade secrets and plot ideas and drafts of songs and artwork to competitors--but she only did it to those who were the rival's clients and visa-versa.
The RPG industry crusaders and protectors of all that is good and pure, and the promoters of inclusive inclusivity of the highest calibre are running out of miscreants to spotlight and throw into the pit. So now they appear to be going after their own.
Christopher Helton has authored this naked hit piece on Sean Patrick Fannon: New Allegations Show More Work Needs to be Done. Fannon has been a reliable and outspoken supporter of efforts to destroy the evil sexists and racists and bigots and anyone else who fails to demonstrate how much they hate fascists and oppressors by beaving like a fascist and oppressor. And yet, Helton has reached back several years to "expose" accusations leveled by mostly anonymous individuals... and accusations that, as far as I recall, predate Fannon's required public affermation of his status as a Crusader and Protector of All That is Good and Right and True.
I suppose the lesson here is that once you're a sinner, you're always a sinner. There's no redemption, no forgiveness, no hope of ever gaining grace... because no matter what, once your fellow believers run out of the wicked to pursue and crush, they will turn inward and start purging the ranks. And those who have confessed their sins provide a ready-made target list for lazy people like Helton to work off.
Or maybe Fannon became a target because didn't praise the right game product in the right way... or maybe he praised the wrong one? (For those who might not know, Sean Patrick Fannon is a game designer and reviewer who is perhaps best known these days for Sean's Pick of the Day.)
Whatever the motivation, Helton has unleashed the shrieking angels of vengeance upon Fannon with a by-the-book hitpiece. I have seen his post referred to as "journalism." As a one-time feature writer and features editor, I wouldn't have wanted my name on this sort of badly sourced rumor mongering, nor would I accepted this trash as an editor, even with the lower standards for what is good reporting and what isn't. Except the purpose here was almost certainly not to practice good journalism.
It's worth noting that Fannon has posted a response to Helton's character assassination--a response that even starts and ends with the Litany of the Protectors of All That is Good and Right and True. You can read that here. It's much better written, and much better supported with sources and quotes, and generally shows Fannon to be the superior writer (and journalist for that matter).
So... if you've made a confession because you wanted to prove your Righteousness in the eyes of the Inquistion, beware. They may come for you as they came for Fannon.
Welcome to a very special edition of our ongoing series of Random Murder Mystery Outline Generators! This time, we're breaking a bit with the format, and the first step is to roll a random murder victim!
WHO WAS MURDERED? (Roll 1d6)
1-2. The Antifa Goon.
3-4. The Lion of Islam.
5-6. The White Supremecist.
WHERE WAS HE FOUND? (Roll 1d6)
1. In the park.
2-3. In his home.
4-5. In his parents' basement.
6. Outside the Masonic Temple.
HOW WAS HE KILLED? (Roll 1d6)
1. Choked on a ballgag.
2. Stabbed.
3. Poisoned.
4. Shot.
5. Improvised Explosive Device.
6. Impaled on a giant dildo.
WHY WAS HE KILLED? (Roll 1d6)
1. Hatred.
2. Disgust.
3. Revenge
4. It was an accident.
5-6. Does anyone really need a reason with an asshole like this?
WHO KILLED HIM?
1. His Lover. (Roll 1d6 for sex. 1-2. Female, 3-6. Male.)
2. His Child Bride.
3. No one. The dumb bastard killed himself by accident.
4. His Mother, who could no longer live with the shame of what she'd brought into this world.
5. Chuck Norris.
6. The Jews. Because it's ALWAYS the Jews.
He flew jets through the friendly skies, but on the ground someone was decidedly unfriendly toward him... because they killed him.
Welcome to another Random Murder Mystery for your RPG campaigns. This one can even be easily converted to a sci-fi setting--just make the airline pilot a spaceship pilot. Roll 1d12 against the tables below to generate the outline for a murder mystery for the player characters to solve!
WHERE WAS HE FOUND?
1. In the plane's cockpit.
2. In the first class restroom.
3. In an overhead bin in coach.
4. In the plane's rear storage compartment.
5. On a luggage carousel.
6. In the 1st Class departure lounge.
7. In the airport parking garage.
8. In a suite at the Airport Hilton.
9. In the alley behind a strip club.
10. In the ally behind a gay bar and sushi restaurant.
11. Outside the home of his ex-wife. (Roll 1d12 to see which one. 1-3. Ex-Wife #1, 4-6, Ex-Wife #2, 7-8 Ex-Wife #3, 9-12 Ex-Wife #4.)
12. Roll Two More Times. His body was found at the first location indicated, but he was actually murdered at the second. If the same result is rolled twice, the location where the body was found and the place he was murdered are the same. Ignore additional results of 12.
HOW WAS HE KILLED?
1. Electrocuted.
2. Strangled.
3. Drug Overdose.
4. Frozen to Death.
5. Stabbed Once.
6. Stabbed 1d12+2 times.
7. Shot Once.
8. Shot 1d6+1 times.
9. Asphyxiated.
10. Poisoned.
11. Drowned. (Roll 1d12 to see what kind of water he drowned in. 1-4. Chlorinated pool water, 5-8. Soapy bath water, 9-12. Fresh water fish tank.)
12. Roll Two More Times. His death resulted from a combination of methods. If the same number is rolled twice, there was only one reason for his death. Ignore additional results of 12.
WHO KILLED HIM?
1. The Ex-Wife. (Roll 1d12 to see which one. 1-3. Ex-Wife #1, 4-6, Ex-Wife #2, 7-8 Ex-Wife #3, 9-12 Ex-Wife #4.)
2. The Co-Pilot.
3. The Flight Attendant.
4. The Air Marshall.
5. The Frequent Flier.
6. The Congressman's Wife.
7. The Aircraft Mechanic.
8. The Rabbi.
9. The Safety Inspector.
10. The Luggage Handler.
11. The Has-Been Pop Star (1-6. Male, 7-12 Female).
12. His Current Wife.
WHY WAS HE KILLED?
1. He spurned the murderer's romantic advances.
2. He discovered the killer's criminal past and was going to reveal it.
3. He discovered the killer was blackmailing one of the other suspects and started blackmailing both of them. (Roll 1d12 on "Who Killed Him" to see who was being blackmailed.)
4. He discovered the killer was being bribed and threatened to expose him or her (1-6); blackmailed him or her for a large portion of the money (7-12).
5. He discovered the killer's criminal past and was blackmailing him or her, and the killer finally had enough of his demands.
6. He discovered the killer was key to the effort to hid the existence of UFOs.
7. He discovered the killer was involved with an ongoing criminal enterprise. Roll 1d12 to determine what it is: 1-2. Smuggling Drugs, 3-4. Human Trafficking. 5-6. International Industrial Espionage. 7-8. Murder for Hire. 9-10. Kidnapping Ring. 11-12. Art Theft and/or Forgery.
9. Roll again on the "Who Killed Him" table. The pilot was having affairs with both people indicated. They found out and they teamed up to kill him and then to provide each other with alibis.
10. He broke off the affair with the killer, because he was also having an affair with one of the other suspects. (Roll 1d12 on "Who Killed Him" to determine who this other person was. If the result is the same as the killer, there was no other affair, just the pilot wanting to get away from an insane partner.)
11. Revenge for his well-compensated role in a cover-up of a mechanical issue that led to the crashes of several planes.
12. Roll two more times on "Why Was He Killed". Both reasons apply. Ignore additional results of 12. If you roll the same number twice, only one reason applies, but the killer was VERY strongly motivated by it.
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And here's a theme song for this mystery: "Five Miles Out" by Mike Oldfield. Enjoy!
