This sounds like a ready-made ROLF! Battle Scenario....

Calvin Rickson (Male)
Brawn 14, Body 13, Brains 7
Traits: Nimble
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Dodge, Knock Out, Run Away!, Strategic Bleeding, Strike Pose, Walk and Chew Gum
Important Stuff Carried/Worn: Slide Rule (Small Melee Weapons; does 1 point of damage


The Angry Mob (10 Males)
Brawn 11, Body 10, Brains 3
Traits: Coldhearted
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disembowel, Run Away!
Important Stuff Carried/Worn: Baseball Bat (Medium Melee Weapon; does 2 points of damage)

THE BATTLE SCENARIO
Calvin Rickson, inventor of the most evil undergarment ever devised by man, is attacked by an angry mob. He must defeat them or suffer a terrible fate.

This Scenario is for 2 players, with one player controlling Calvin and the other controlling the Members of the Angry Mob. There are 10 angry men in the Mob.

1d4 members of the Mob attack Calvin during the first round of combat. 1d4 additional attackers join the fray whenever one of them falls, until all 10 are in the fight.

If Calvin tries to use Run Away! to flee, members of the Mob not yet fighting him attempt to use their Run Away! Combat Maneuver to stop his retreat. If one of them is successful, a new Battle begins, with 1d2 Mob Members fighting him, and the usual 1d4 joining each time one of them falls.

The Battle continues until Calvin or the Angry Mob is defeated.

NEW STUFF
Calvin Rickson's Wonderous Jiggle-free Bra: Armor (Females Only), Absorbs 2 points of Damage. (Can be worn with Clothes, Leggings, Boots, and Hats, but no other kinds of Armor.)

Best-sellers for January

It's a little late, and it's only the Top Five best-sellers this time out, but I'm been a little distracted.

Once again, I thank all of you out there for your support of NUELOW in general and ROLF! and our Robert E. Howard collections in particular. They continue to do better than we could have hoped for. Tell your friends. :)

And we're always open to look at submissions; game industry legend Jeff Grubb published "Dyvil: First Edition" through us, so we can't be all bad! Drop us a line at stevemillermail@gmail.com if you want to publish your game (or even your fiction) under the NUELOW Games banner. There is, as they say, strength in numbers!

NUELOW Games' Best Sellers for January 2012

1. ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters (Core RPG Rule Set)

2. Horror for the Holidays (Short Story Collection)

3. ROLF!: Serenade for Sirens in G Minor (RPG Supplement)

4. Shadows Over Texas (Short Story Collection)

5. Dyvil: First Edition (Jeff Grubb's 30-Minute Roleplaying Game) (Core RPG Rule Set)

Latest ROLF! Supplement Available Now!

The Mayans predicted it! NUELOW Games wants to exploit it! The end of the world is coming (or so members of a wise, human-sacrificing ancient civilization tell us), so here's The Final Battle (#1 of 12): The Grim Reaper vs. The Fertility Goddess!

This supplement for ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters features three pre-generated characters, a new Trait, a new Spelling, and three Combat Scenarios that feature Ix-Chel the Fertility Goddess vs. Death, Chuck Norris vs. Death, and Chuck Norris vs. Ix-Chel the Fertility Goddess.

Click here to get your copy today for just $0.50... before the world ends!

All releases for 2012 dedicated to the memory of E.S. Miller

My mother, Edel Sonja Miller, passed away today. She was 72.

She was a good sport as we used her for jokes in the original releases back in 1993 (the immortal "Fairies!", "Lust and Dust!" and "Horndogs!"). She was more delighted to see the rebirth of NUELOW Games than even myself and L.L. Hundal have been.

Some might say that it's not a sign of respect to devote collections of pulp fiction and sarcastic, cynical, and off-colour cheap-ass game products to the memory of a classy lady who spent her life putting others ahead of herself and who was loved by everyone who met her, but I know that she would appreciate this memorial more than a marble mausoleum.

A New Character Trait and Pre-Generated Character for ROLF!

Here's a ROLF! freebie for use when making characters for your games.

NEW TRAIT

God: The player may re-roll a number of failed ATT checks for this character per battle equal to his or her intelligence. The player may force other players to re-roll one ATT check per character they control for each battle. The character with this trait always takes 2 points less damage, no matter what the source (minimum 0 points).


NEW PRE-GENERATED CHARACTER

The Angel of Death, aka the Grim Reaper (Male?)
Brawn 38, Body 10, Brains 6
Traits: Dour, God
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Double Strike, Signature Move, Spelling (Bad Touch, Die Die Die!, You'll Only Hurt Yourself).
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Black Hooded Robe (Armor; absorbs 5 points of damage), Scythe (Large Melee Weapon; deals 5 points of damage).

Happy Chinese New Year!

How about celebrating with some festive fights using ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters? Here are some pre-generated characters and a Combat Scenario to get your started!


DRAGON vs. TIGER
A ROLF! Combat Scenario for 2-4 Players
By Steve Miller

CHINESE DRAGON (Embodies both the Yin and the Yang)
Brawn 40; Body 20; Brains 8
Traits: Egomaniac, Mutant (Natural Weapons: Medium Claws, Large Fangs; Natural Armor)
Combat Maneuver: Basic Attack, Debate Philosophy, Dodge, Disembowel, Double Strike, Spellings (Die Die Die!, Hot Air, Light My Fire)
Important Stuff Worn/Weilded: Natural Weapons (Medium Claws, deals 3 points of damage; Large fans, deals 5 points of damage). Scaly Hide (all damage suffered is reduced by 1 point per strike).

JACKIE CHAN (Male)
Brawn 30; Body 15; Brains 6
Traits: Jolly, Nimble
Combat Maneuver: Basic Attack, Disarm, Dodge, Double Strike,Infectious Good Cheer, Run Away
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Whatever random object he can get his hands on; deal 1d3 points of melee damage for each object, one wielded at a time; each object can also be thrown once and inflict 1 point of ranged damage. (Jackie always finds suitable small or medium-sized objects for use as weapons).

MICHELLE YEOH (Female)
Brawn 23; Body 17; Brains 7
Traits: Nimble
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Disarm, Dodge, Furious Fists, Knock Out, Signature Move, Strike Pose
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Pistol (deals 3 points of ranged damage). Golf Club (deals 3 points of melee damage).

TIGER WOODS (Male)
Brawn 24; Body 14; Brains 5
Traits: Egomaniac
Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Double Strike, Seduce, Signature Move, Strike Pose
Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Golf Club (deals 3 points of melee damage).





THE COMBAT SCENARIO
Jackie Chan, Michelle Yeoh, and Tiger Woods are playing golf one day when a Chinese Dragon comes swooping out f the sky and attacks Tiger Woods... because Tiger is the eternal enemy of Dragon.

One gamer plays the Chinese Dragon. Jackie, Michelle, and Tiger can be each be played by another gamer, or they can each be played by individual gamers, depending on how many will be playing this Combat Scenario.

The battle continues until Jackie, Michelle, and Tiger or the Chinese Dragon are defeated.


(BTW... "DRAGON vs. TIGER" is a work of fiction. The likenesses of Jackie Chan, Michelle Yeoh, and Tiger Woods are being used without authorization, but it's all in good fun and no offense or insult is intended. Text Copyright 2012 Steve Miller. All Rights Reserved. Although you're welcome to copy-and-paste the text if you feel like playing the scenario and doing so will make it easier for you.)

d20 System feats for your "mature" game

As some of you may or many know, the very first NUELOW Games production was "Faries!" in the late 1990s, an RPG that spoofed the notion that "mature" equals sexual content.

During the initial d20 System book a decade or so ago, that misnomer seemed to seize a number of designers and gamers again, so I returned to the notion and produced these feats. Maybe I need to write a "Modern Advances: Gangbanger" class to go with them.)

By the way, this return to the NUELOW Games' ancient archives was prompted by two things: L.L. Hundal has proposed a cute little RPG featuring fairies that we're working on... and a thought on my part that I need to finish NUELOW Second Edition, a revamp of the "Horndogs!" game that followed "Fairies!"

These feats are presented under the Open Gaming License. If you wish to reuse them, please credit Steve Miller and NUELOW Games as the original source.




d20 System Feats for the Sexually Obsessed By Steve Miller

Gangbanger [General, Sex]
You love group sex and excel at it... the more the merrier!
Prerequisite: Staying Power
Benefit: The character gains a +2 competency bonus to Acrobatics and Seduction checks for each sexual partner in addition to the first when engaged in group sex activities. You also gain a +1 bonus for every sex partner (including yourself) to Staying Power Fortitude saves.


Great Cleavage [General] (Female Version)
The character’s chest area is deemed attractive to those of appropriate sexuality.
Prerequisite: Female of a general humanoid appearance, 17 STR Maximum
Benefit: When wearing appropriately skimpy attire, the character receives a +2 bonus to all Diplomacy and Seduction skill checks against characters of the appropriate sexuality.
Special: The character can make a WIS check (DC18) to pose just right to reveal the maximum amount of cleavage while still leaving something to the imagination and gain a +3 situational bonus to Entertain or Seduction.


Great Cleavage [General] (Male Version)
The character’s chest area is deemed attractive to those of appropriate sexuality.
Prerequisite: Male humanoid, 17+ STR
Benefit: When wearing appropriately skimpy attire, the character receives a +2 bonus to all Diplomacy and Seduction skill checks against characters of the appropriate sexuality.
Special: The character can make a DEX check (DC18) to flex his muscles and gain a +3 situational bonus to Entertain or Intimidate.


Sexual Prowess [General, Sex]
You can please yourself and your sex partner(s) in amazing and creative fashions.
Benefit: +2 bonus to Acrobatics and Seduction skill checks when used in sexual situations.


Shameless [General]
You keep your cool in situations where most others would either be ashamed, embarrassed or painfully self-aware.
Benefit: +2 bonus to Bluff and all Perform skill checks.
Special: If the character has 5 or more ranks in Perform (acting), this feat grants a +2 synergy bonus to Diplomacy skill checks.


Staying Power [General, Sex]
You can keep going all day and all night.
Prerequisite: Sexual Prowess
Benefit: When engaging in sexual activities, you can remain tireless and "turned on" for one hour per Constitution bonus. When you reach the end of the time period, you can roll a Fort save (DC12) to keep going for an additional number of hours equal to your Constitution bonus. The DC for the Fort save increases by +4 for each time beyond the first time it is used in a 24-hour period. Once the Fort save has been failed, the character slips into a deeply satisfying sleep for 1d8+4 hours.