Riyadh Roullete: All-New from a Prestigious European Game Designer

This game was designed in the course of a 25-minute trip back and forth between the grocery store, with minor revisions taking place as it was being typed up and posted to the blog, such as the requirement the hands be played face up.

Is it a good game? Play it, and let me know... but just remember that it's the product of a Prestigious European Game Designer. That means it has to be good, right? (Full context: This was created in response to a challenge to make a game where the winning condition meant you lost.)

 RIYADH ROULETTE: A GAME FOR 3-5 PLAYERS
*NO GIRLS ALLOWED*! 

By Steve Miller

(Copyright 2014 by NUELOW Games and Steve Miller. All Rights Reserved. Duplication Allowed for Personal Use, or for Inclusions in Fatwas and Magazines Published for the Enlightenment and Entertainment of the Lions of Islam)

 Designer Introduction 
There has been no proofing or play-testing of this game.

Objective 
Be the first to blow yourself up for the glory of the Prophet and go to Paradise, in this fast-playing, fun-filled simulation of what it's like to be a Lion of Islam and a Martyr for Mohammed!

Play Requires
One six-sided die, one deck of cards (including Jokers), one bowl (the bigger the better), and 72 Raisins (can be substituted with Jelly Beans).

 Set Up 
Put the Raisins or Jelly Beans in the bowl at the center of the table. Remove all 2s but the 2 of Spades, 7s, the Jack of Hearts, and all Queens from the deck and play.

 Game Play
Each player is dealt five cards, from the bottom of the deck, one at a time, clockwise around the table. The cards are placed face up in front of the player. The moment a Joker is revealed, the player who received that card must roll the die. If he rolls a one, he has blown himself and a bunch of Enemies of the Prophet to bits with bomb that was cleverly hidden up his ass. Any other result, the Joker is discarded, and he is immediately dealt another card.
   Once everyone has five cards in front of them, the youngest player discards the lowest possible card.Other players, going counter-clockwise around the table, must discard a lower card. If a player is unable, he must roll the die. If he roll a one, he has blown himself and oodles of Enemies of the Prophet to itty-bitty pieces with a bomb. cleverly hidden in the bra he was wearing. Any other result, and he draws cards from the top of the deck until he has a full five cards on the table in front of him.
   If a player runs out of cards in front of him, every player discards their remaining cards, and is dealt five new cards (from the bottom of the deck).
    When no player can refresh his hand up to five cards, all remaining cards are discarded. Players roll the die, starting with the player who couldn't get a full hand and going counter-clockwise around the table, until one of them rolls a 1. That player has blown himself and a bunch of Enemies of the Prophet into gory chunks with a bomb cleverly hidden in his Crocs.

 Ending the Game
The player who goes to Paradise with a large boom and a blaze of glory is the winner. He gets to watch the remaining players eat the 72 raisins or jelly beans.

The Reward