How is the Vacation in Mexico Going to be Ruined?

Here are adventure seeds for an RPG campaign in a modern setting.

What Ruins the Mexican Vacation?
The player characters are hoping for a nice relaxing vacation in sunny Mexico... but, being that they're player characters, things aren't going to be so relaxing. What harshes their mellow this time? (Roll a d12 against the list below.)

   1. A drug cartel decides to force them into being "mules" and won't take no for an answer.
   2. An old enemy hiding South of the Border recognizes a party member and thinks they're after him or her.
   3. An old enemy who's been hiding South of the Border recognizes the party and approaches them with a request for help against 1-3)slavers posing as 'coyotes', 4-6) a drug cartel that's trying to force him to help them by kidnapping someone he loves, 7-9) the corrupt officials that have been shielding him, but who are now involved in things so horrible he wants no part of it, 10-12)discover what is going on at a secret base in the desert and why the Native Americans living nearby are vanishing.
   4. Space aliens are using the resort the characters are staying at a front for their unholy experiments on humans.
   5. A waiter familiar with the PCs (possibly through an old enemy) approaches them asks them to rescue his sister from a nearby cult compound. The cult is being run by 1-3) rogue CIA operatives conducting mind-control experiments, 4-6) an ancient Olmec vampire, recently awakened and working on restablishing his vampiric powerbase, 7-9) space aliens, who are replacing humans with duplicates in preparation for an invasion, 10-12) a druglord who is testing a new product that has the unfortunate side effect of turning users into werewolves.

   6. Mole People begin their invasion of the surface world at the resort the PCs are saying at (use kobold stats). Naturally, they are led by a sexy human queen (or hunky human king) who takes a fancy to a party member.
   7. Cultists in nearby Mayan ruins are performing a ritual that will summon mighty demons to cleanse Central American of everyone without pure Native American blood.
   8. A friend of the party is abducted and held for ransom by 1-2) a cartel boss, 3-4) an old enemy of the party, 5-6) renegade CIA agents, 7-8) 'coyotes', 9-10) a mad scientist, 11-12) Cultists.
   9. A mad scientist is attempting to create President Trump's border wall with 1-3) strange chemicals in the water supply, 4-6) mind control rays, 7-9) a stolen alien spaceship and its energy shield techology, 10-12) summoning and enslaving the ancient Oltec gods.
   10. Renegade CIA agents want to force the party into taking down 1-3)a terrorist ring, 4-6)a drug cartel, 7-9)corrupt officials coordinating cross-border crime, 10-12)a cult that is infiltrating CIA stations throughout Central and South America.
   11. A local priest approaches the party and asks them to recover a relic that has been stolen from his church by a local drug boss.
   12. Roll two more times, re-rolling duplicate results. Both indicated things ruin the party's vacation.

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