Who's Poisoning American Vegans?

Here's a random adventure outline generator ripped from the headlines! Roll on the following tables to generate the skeleton of a mystery adventure for your player characters in a modern-day or near-future setting to solve.

THE VEGAN DEATH CONSPIRACY
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) has warned all Americans to not eat Romaine lettuce, citing a severe danger from e.coli. But is that all there is to it? Are people being sickened from supposed e.coli bacteria just the beginning? It's up to the player characters to investigate and get to the bottom of the mystery... only they can learn if there's a hidden hand and agenda behind the outbreak, or if it's just one of those things.

OPTIONAL: HOW DOES THE PARTY GET INVOLVED? (Roll 1d6)
   1. It's their job; they are investigators for the CDC.
   2. It's their job: they are reporters for the Weekly Weird News.
   3. It's their job; they are investigators for the Kolchak Institute of Paranormal and Cryptid Research
   4. A loved one of a party member, who was a Vegan, died from a mysterious ailment that resembled an e.coli infection.
   5. A one-time foe (1-3)/old friend (4-6) contacted them about having discovered a monstrous conspiracy and he wanted to them about it. When they arrive where they were to meet him, they find his dead body, half-eaten. An autopsy shows his internal organs and veins were strangly swollen. Go  to WHAT IS THE VEGAN DEATH CONSPIRACY.
   6. Roll two more times on this table, ignoring and rerolling results of 6 and duplicated results. Both reasons apply.

IS THERE A CONSPIRACY TO POISON LETTUCE? (Roll 1d6)
   1-4. Yes. And more. Go to WHO IS BEHIND THE VEGAN DEATH CONSPIRACY.
   5-6. No. Go to WHAT IS THE REAL REASON LETTUCE IS MAKING PEOPLE SICK.

WHO IS BEHIND THE VEGAN DEATH CONSPIRACY?
(Roll 1d6)
Whatever result is indicated below, people who eat some green leafy vegetables (like lettuce) are falling ill, those who eat lots of the stuff are being poisoned, and those who live entirely off vegetables are dying in a horrible fashion: their internal organs and blood veins swell and they develop a high fever that cooks their innards even as they are crushed against their own skeleton.
   1. A rogue element within the U.S. government is testing a bio-weapon by spraying it on green leafy vegetables. When it reaches critical mass in the person's body, they die an agonozing death.
   2. As above, except its terrorists backed by Iran (1-2)/North Korea (3-4)/Russia (5-6) spreading the bio-weapon.
   3. A demon cult has been selling plants and seeds infused with demonic to American farmers through Morning Glory Agriculture, and the souls of those who eat too much of the tainted greens are immediately damned to Hell.
   4. As above, except Morning Glory Agriculture is a front for the extremist group Stop Plant Abuse Today. They hope to scare Vegans into eating fewer fruits and vegetables.
   5. Morning Glory Agriculture's genetically modified romaine lettuce is killing people. The company is working on a solution, and in the meantine, they will want to silence anyone who discovers what's going on. Including the player characters.
   6. Venusian are in the final stages of preparing to invade and take over Earth. They are testing ways to turn Earthlings into the perfect food source... and they like the taste of the pure Vegan flesh.


Artwork by Bryan Baugh

WHAT IS THE REAL REASON LETTUCE IS MAKING PEOPLE SICK?
(Roll 1d6)
1-2. It's e.coli, plain and simple. Sometimes shit happens.
3-4. An alien strain of lettuce has arrived on Earth via a meteor, and those who eat too much of it will become AstroZombies!
5-6. Roll on WHO IS BEHIND THE VEGAN DEATH CONSPIRACY, because, contrary to appearances, there IS a conspiracy to kill American Vegans. Just as the party thinks they've figured out it is indeed just a massive e.coli outbreak, they are given information that hints at the conspiracy.